What is loss?
by StillSomeone
Summary: Life can be cruel, unfair and all around horrible. What set of events could cause the fun loving TJ to lose it all. His friends, family and pride. It is not the hand your dealt, but how you play it... is that always true?
1. Chapter 12: Another beginning

Hi everyone, umm this is my first time writing a story so I do hope it's not too bad. If you find anything wrong I can take the criticism. If people are reading it then my expectations would already be passed so reviews and stuff aren't a make or break.

So, enjoy.

* * *

When did it all change.

Everything was always so simple before everything and now even my friends can't… won't look at me anymore. It's as if I asked for it all, cause spending a few nights crying to myself to sleep is definitely what I asked for.

The worse part is I don't blame them, really. For as long as everything has been happening I never really told them, or anyone, cause who wants to be around that kid with the injury, or the kid who gets in trouble like it's his second nature. The prankster prince phase has passed by the way.

I couldn't tell them cause why would I want to bring them into what I was going through when I didn't think I could get through it myself. Everything I touched seemed to break and ruin in my hands, so I wasn't going to touch them. That was the plan.

* * *

It was another day in the life of a 17 year old. TJ finally managed to get out of bed and down stairs. One look at this 5'10" boy with his hair messier than usual and those black bags under his eyes only clarified that he needs a good, long rest. He has long abandoned the facade of putting on a smile for Becky, and she for him. It has been hard on them since the accident but they understand each other and the sibling rivalry that's a staple in most houses has been swapped out for the much needed love.

"See ya Becky" was yelled through the back door as TJ headed out to school for the day. She was probably still asleep after her night shift down at the local supermarket so that she would be ready to tackle the demands of the bakery opposite Kelso's.

Taking the first few steps outside he couldn't help a glance three doors down at his old best friends house. Thinking to himself if she thought the same about him or if she still considered him the friend she's known since kindergarten. Spinelli was always there and tried so much to help where she could. They all did.

Being so close down the street she knew more than the others, not the whole thing but definitely more.

* * *

"You know I'm here for ya, Teej?"

"Yeah"

He knew that the look on his face and his tone of voice was failing him right now so he kept words to a minimum.

"I know it's not the same but… with Joey away I know how it feels to miss people who aren't there anymore and I want to help you. I want to help my best friend."

* * *

Shaking his head he kept moving towards school. Looking back on it now, TJ could never understood why teenagers despised high school so much when back in fourth grade it was his whole reason for living. The sound of the bell giving him permission to be out in the sun where all of his adventures awaited him. The guarantee that the best people that he's ever met were waiting for him somewhere.

Before long he was pulled out of his thoughts by the gates of hell that were right in front of him. High school. With a sigh he stepped in. Crossing the front courtyard the bell rang right above him and ringing in his ears, with his luck though it didn't surprise him. Another moment and he continued heading towards class.

* * *

The day was fine up until third period. Gym. Today's lesson was the infamous game of dodgeball. The game that could be harmless fun or an all out physical battle against the other team. All it took was for a slight argument during lunch or someone's girlfriend spending too much time with some other guy and it was on. Standing in line with the class the coach picked out the two captains. There was some guy from the football team, Chris, and the basketball captain Vince Lasalle.

'Great just what I needed, another reason to be left out by and old pal.' TJ was so full of anger, frustration, and oddly enough, sadness. 'Maybe a quick trip to HK during study break would help.'

The moment this thought entered his mind his eyes suddenly found the floor and he shook that idea straight out of his head. He was not going back to him for anything he'd be selling anymore.

The teams were picked and of course he was on Chris' team. Well at least he wasn't picked last like Menlo. He was one of those guys picked somewhere in the middle. He wasn't crazy athletic but wasn't unfit either. Average would be the normal label for him in this class.

Playing the game he was dodging, ducking, dipping, diving and dodging whenever he could then smack. The ball came out of nowhere and the force of it into his stomach took him by surprise and winded him slightly. On the other side of the court were the sounds of cheers for their captain, in between his coughing. Quick high fives were given within the winning team to let each other know they were the best and that their aiming was still unbeatable.

After the game Vince came up to him it the change rooms.

"Sorry 'bout the hit man."

"Nah don't worry yourself. It was a good throw." They seemed like they were friends, but it's still not like it was.

"Still, it was hard… Say, why don't we head down to Kelso's after school and we can put it behind us with a milkshake?"

He wanted to hang out again? He's waited so long to be with them again and this could be his way in, to make everything normal.

"Yeah that will be co…"

"Hey Vince, come on we have to get to history." Wow some people don't care who they interrupt.

"Yeah I'm coming" was the quick reply.

"Anyway, I'll meet you at your locker and we can go from there." TJ continued on.

"Sweet, I'll see you there."

* * *

At the end of the day they met up together exactly where they agreed to. Vince said goodbye to his friends and teammates and they were off on the 15ish minute walk to one of the best little stores around.

The first couple of minutes were silent, and not the comfortable kind. TJ eventually felt obligated to start a talk.

"So what's been going on?"

"Nothing really exciting. Just training and stuff like that so I can stay on top." Vince hesitated for just a slight moment before going on. "Everyone expects a scholarship out of me and let's face it man, it's not going to be for my smarts." He nearly mentioned his parents but that would be too soon considering their friendship is only starting the healing process.

Letting out a chuckle and a slight smirk on his face, TJ couldn't help but remember why they were friends. The rest of the trip consisted of small talk. Catching up and friendly jokes the whole way.

At Kelso's they sat down with their drinks. A banana split sundae for Vince and a simple vanilla milkshake for TJ.

"You heard about the new Senõr Fusion out?"

Ha ha. How could he not have heard about it? TJ was offended that he had to ask.

"Of course I have but it's sold out and who knows how long it's gonna take before more get in".

"Well I might have a copy lying around my house somewhere if you want a sneak peak before you can get your own?"

Before he even fully realised what was happening he snapped his head towards the sports hero in front of him. "YES". He quickly composed himself. "I would owe you big time for this".

That's when it went downhill. From this point on. Vince just had to ask.

"I just gotta ask though…" No please don't. "...You're not still talking to hustler kid though, right?"

He had to answer, how could he not? It wasn't the answer that was the trouble because in all honesty he wasn't anymore. It was the reasons behind it that were plaguing his mind. Like a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from.

"Nah I haven't for a while now. The pain in my back was long gone and after I finally realised that…" This was not a topic he wanted to explore at the moment, so he changed it. "It's been better without having to rely on those pills."

"Good cause they would have had to be somewhat dodgy coming from him" Vince laughed.

TJ couldn't get it. How could he laugh like it was nothing? He knew it was just a friendly joke but even then it hurt him. Like the fights never happened between them. No, he still wasn't over it. The flash of anger in him didn't fade and he knew he needed to walk it off.

"You know it's getting a bit late Vince, and Becky needs help at home so I better head off."

This quick change of mood wasn't unnoticed and Vince straight away knew he touched a sore subject.

"TJ I didn't mean anything like that."

"I know. I just really do need to head home."

Just as TJ was about to head out the door Vince grabbed his shoulder.

"I'll bring the new issue in tomorrow."

"Thanks, see ya 'round."

With that TJ was gone, his mind racing with thoughts about fitting back into his group again and how to pick up the pieces he knew that he created from the once whole friendships he neglected.

If all went well maybe they could be back to hanging out at the end of the year. Which isn't too far away now but still way too far for the teenage mind.


	2. Chapter 1: When life was simple

I didn't think I was gonna do another chapter this quick but got excited with the small amount of people reading this, and the review, so I had to write this one a bit quicker. The next chapter will probably be a little longer away but I hope you like this one anyway.

Cheers for reading.

* * *

"I _really_ think we should think this one through"

"Relax Gretch. All we are gonna do is use a good ol' fashioned rope swing"

As Gretchen and Spinelli talked between themselves, the guys couldn't contain their excitement. It was as if their whole 16 year old sophomore lives had been working for this moment. Will the rope hold? Is the water deep enough? Can they even _reach_ the rope?

TJ had been studying the tree that the rope was stuck in for the last 5 or 10 minutes while Vince was simply trying to climb it, which probably wasn't the safest idea. It was hanging just too high up, and over the water, for any of them to reach. Mikey couldn't bring himself to watch as his friend climbed the old tree that was on a lean just a little too much.

"I got a plan guys". Of course he did, that's what he does. He had gathered the attention from the rest of the group as he explained everyone's role to them.

Like the perfect plan it was, next thing you know Vince threw a rock perfectly at the seat part of the rope swing, getting it to start rocking back and forth. Further away then closer to them, over and over. Next, Mikey had launched the smaller Gus upwards to the rope when it was above dry land. The military training of rope climbing finally had its use for the group. All that was left now was to untangle the sucker and get to swinging.

It couldn't have gone any better in TJ's mind. He had accounted for everything.

* * *

"You know what Teej, next time we are gonna wait till it's warmer to go swimming."

Snapping his head towards Spinelli, he couldn't suppress his laugh. It was probably still due to when she took her first jump, which just had to be the first swing out of all of them. The look on her face was perfect as she fell into the water. When she started screaming out though TJ had thought the worse. Maybe the fall from that high up had hurt? What if something had happened?

Gretchen then contributed her expert opinion. "Perhaps, being only a few weeks till Christmas, it should have been a viable indicator to the cold weather."

"Yeah, but it isn't snowing yet so how could we have known?" Vince had a very good point. Gretchen just couldn't argue with them sometimes.

"Man, Becky is going to _kill_ me when I get home. I'm gonna get a whole lecture about how I could've got sick and then _she_ would get in trouble when my parents get home."

"Woe is me, we are all in for the wrath of judgement by those who created and house us"

"Sure big guy". Everyone laughing at Vince's response to the drama queen.

* * *

As they got further away from the lake and closer to their own homes, the gang began splitting off from each other. In the end was TJ and Spinelli.

Living so close together they were definitely closer out of the group of best friends. Not in the same way that TJ was friends with Vince, the guy thing, but different. They would help each other with homework that they both had or simply play video games and read comics, a habit TJ just couldn't drop.

"So what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

TJ really hadn't thought that far ahead yet. He may have a plan for everything, but everything only included things that needed a plan. As for his evening activities, he was clueless.

"Don't know. I might read my new Senõr Fusion. I still haven't got around to it yet."

"Or maybe… We can watch The Night Before Christmas while it's on TV tonight?"

Now, usually Spinelli is the first against _anything_ with _any_ hint of romance or holiday joy but she was still, deep down, a girl.

"Sure Spin, just give me a little while to get out of these wet clothes and have a hot shower."

Que the over dramatic sigh from the proud owner madam fist, even though she was going to do the same anyway. She just couldn't help but tease him a little bit.

"OK then. I'll give you half an hour and then I'm coming over."

"Deal"

* * *

"TJ you have to help out too you know. I don't want to get in trouble that the house is a mess."

"Jeez, calm down Becky. We still have ages until they get home." His big sister is always on his back it seems whenever they spend longer than eating dinner together.

"I know but I don't want to get blamed for your sloppiness."

Just then he heard Spinelli arrive at his door. "Hold that thought for a sec" TJ replied before turning his attention to his best friend.

Opening the door he met the short, both in temper and height, girl in front of him.

"Took ya long enough"

"What! I came straight to the door"

"Well would it have killed you to pick up the pace. We are gonna miss the start of the movie."

What was the hurry? They still had 24 minutes left so there was no big rush. However, he didn't want to be that specific to her face as she was renown for her infamous right hook.

"I just got to help clean the house real quick." He then turned around looking for his sister before raising his voice louder. "Apparently she can't handle it herself even though I didn't make a single mess."

Of course there was no reply from in the kitchen so they decided to head to the living room so TJ could tidy it, and for Spinelli to get ready for the movie.

* * *

About halfway through the movie they were both situated on the couch, close enough to be a little more than friendly but still avoiding actual contact. With candies opened between them and the house cleaned up enough to Becky's standards, they were both content with how the night turned out.

"So what time are your parents getting home?"

"Some time tomorrow before lunch so I'll see them after school. Can't believe they get to spend time in Spain. _Without me_."

Continuing with her favourite pastime of teasing, Spinelli thought it would be best to give a possible reason for leaving him with his sister.

"Well you can be annoying after awhile so I can see their point."

TJ gave his best impression of being hurt and put his hand on his chest. "Wow, that is harsh"

"It's the only possible thing I could think of." Spinelli laughed as TJ was pouting while hunched over.

"Well they should be on their first plane now to LA. Then they'll catch another to here and rescue me from the devil upstairs."

"I can't believe back when she used to be nice"

They both laughed and went back to finish their movie, plus another one after that, and their sugary snacks. One final night without a forced bedtime or 'proper healthy' foods.

* * *

The movies finished and Spinelli had left a couple of minutes ago. TJ was ready for bed but had to pack up the living room after their mini marathon or God forbid Becky would rip him apart. He couldn't imagine living under _her_ house rules. Good thing his parents ruled over her out of seniority.

Before he he went to bed he reached into his desk drawer to find that new comic he'd been dying to read lately. Now was as good as time as any to enjoy the creativeness on these newly printed pages. He pushed past his house keys, a can of deodorant and an old pack of cigarettes before he found what he wanted.

He couldn't believe he _actually_ smoked before. He was trying to fit in with some kids from school and his willpower was no match for his need to be accepted and the added peer pressure from those around him, none of which were his usual friends to tell him not to. Hustler kid let him keep the pack as "a sign of good will" like he was going to be a returning customer.

TJ laughed at himself for what he did, but every kid tries it right. He settled himself in for what was meant to be a cold night. A storm was brewing to the west and that Christmas weather was finally meant to be setting in. He was happy for that, Christmas was always so fun and he wanted to get everyone a good present this year. Which reminded him that he needed to start shopping as the two weeks left to do so were getting smaller everyday.

The other part of didn't want the cold. He enjoyed the sunny weather that allowed him to be outside with his friends. Snow days were great and all but people always stayed in, just like the rainy days throughout elementary. No one liked being out in the cold.

Finishing his comic he checked the time, about 11:30. His parents were probably waiting in LAX right now for their next flight. By the time he got home tomorrow they would have landed and be waiting for him at home, hopefully with some good food that Becky could never seem to find at the store. Either way he'd have to endure the hugs and kissed that came with the 'I missed you so much' speech. Some things will never change.

Closing his eyes to the sound of rain hitting his roof, always making a random sound that couldn't be recreated, he fell asleep. In the distance the storm was coming with all of its thundering power it held, bringing with it that cold and dark weather that dampened any kids mood. Hopefully the plane won't be delayed for his parents sake. Plane trips could be bad enough sometimes.

Tomorrow was going to be a miserable day.


	3. Chapter 2: The accident

Hello again ladies and gents. Got the next chapter up and going and thanks to everyone who's reading and to trampled under foot for the reviews, I like the feedback. I'm in the middle of exams but I know I get impatient reading so I thought it's only fair to write more in case you guys feel the same.

Anyways, on with the story.

* * *

Well what would you know, just as expected. The snow had arrived and it was freezing, even inside the house. It was the type of day where you would fully expect the day off but from all his time at this school so far TJ knew that they weren't going to be lenient this time either.

As he carried on with his normal get-ready-for-school routine, his eyes were searching for any mess that may have been missed by the cleaning the night before. As much as he acted in his rebellious ways he was still that good natured kid that simply wanted to please everyone, including Becky and his parents. He made sure everything was perfect before he left for school and before Becky woke up.

Becky worked late as she was still at - the most local - college about an hour away. She was on a schedule where she only had to go in for class a couple days a week so she didn't mind the commute when she had to if it meant still living at home, and the cheapness of it. Besides that she was in her final year.

* * *

Walking to school, TJ met up with Spinelli out the front of their houses and they would meet up with the others along the way. It was really only Vince and Gus that walked with them as Mikey seemed to despise walking every morning so his presence was not a reliable one and Gretchen lived on the other side of the school.

Once they all gathered together at school it finally sank in. They really did not want to to be there.

"Man school is hard enough without having our butts frozen on top of it."

Gretchen just sighed. "Perhaps, Spinelli, wearing something a little more suitable for the weather would have been a good idea?"

"Well I like it, we should be free to express our individualism even in the darkest and most oppressing of establishments." Mikey protested.

TJ was confused by his friends statement, longs words from him often did. "Mikey, we are at school, and we have to wear uniform anyway."

The uniform policy was definitely different from how it was like in elementary school. The guys all had to wear slacks or shorts and a white button up and could pick the school blazer, spray jacket or sweater on top of it. The girls had the same options with a dress allowed in warmer weather. During the snow days though the school would allow snow jackets from home, which Spinelli ha left out of her outfit today.

"I can wear what I want if I want to. I don't need to show off or impress anyone so I'm gonna do what pleases me." Spinelli ended the talk.

* * *

It was about 11:15, halfwayish through English. The whole class was in the middle of reading Romeo and Juliet where the teacher had given people a character to read out the lines for, so that it would 'engrave into their brains who the characters were and their relationships with one another', like it was that important.

Luckily TJ and Vince, sitting in the back row, were not given a part so all they had to do was pretend to listen. It was not a similar situation for Gus, who had the part of Juliet's waitress/servant women ,as there wasn't enough girls in the class. TJ couldn't contain the laughter every time Gus read his lines out.

"Hey Teej." Came a whisper from his left.

"Yeah Vince?"

"You got any presents for anyone for Christmas yet?"

So it wasn't just him that had been sloppy in the gift shopping area. "Nah, not yet. I really need to soon."

"Want to meet up tonight and do it together. Of course we'll have to get each other's later but at least the rest will be done." Vince had a look on his face that just read 'I'm so clever and even I can have awesome plans of my own'.

"Let's go straight after school then and we can tell the guys that we have detention or something believable like that." TJ laughed, but not too loud to draw the teacher's attention.

"You sure you can handle lying to Spin? What are you getting her anyway?"

TJ blushed and quickly answered, "Why wouldn't it be a problem? And I don't know yet."

"Come on man, you're 16, she's good looking, you're both friends, you know."

TJ wanted to avoid this talk before he said something that Vince wouldn't forget.

"Yeah come on TJ just ask her out already." Gus added in the conversation now that all of his couple of lines were over.

TJ really hadn't thought too much about this but the little time he had all lead him into a confused and hormonal state, one that he won't get into in front of his trustworthy friends. Besides, he was probably reading into it too much.

"You guys are just overre…"

"Theodore Detweiler to the principal's office." Came the sudden voice through the speaker system, echoing throughout the whole school.

Out of habit TJ began searching his mind for answers to what he could have done this time.

* * *

"I'm sorry, son, I really am."

TJ couldn't think. He couldn't move. How could this man sit there and tell him his parents were dead. Planes don't crash that often so the chances they were on one that did were impossible.

"I understand this is a lot to take in. Your sister has been notified and is coming to take you home now."

This can't be real. What does this mean? He had everything ready for them for when they arrived. He had cleaned for them. He stared at his hands, shaking.

'Is this my fault?' He asked himself.

"If there is anything you need, please ask. Anything at all. You can wait in here for your sister if you'd like."

TJ simply nodded.

* * *

By the time Becky had arrived the other students were out of class and enjoying their short freedom before they had to return back to them. At a particular picnic table next to the school oval sat most of TJ's friends, waiting for him and Gretchen like usual. Gretchen was always late out of class due to some form of extra curricular activity she couldn't refuse and had to partake in it.

"He's not usually this late, where is that boy?" Spinelli asked.

"He got called to the principal's office during class and never came back. He's probably getting a lecture about how they knew he did something but don't have the evidence like usual." Vince explained.

"I know that but I'm just saying that he's usually never in there that long."

Walking towards the carpark with the principal, TJ crossed paths with Gretchen on her way to meet the others, including TJ. To be honest he didn't even notice her when she first called out his name.

"TJ, hey where are you…" She got close enough and saw his face, despite him trying to look away from her. "Why TJ, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Gretch, don't worry about it. I'm just going home." His voice slightly breaking on his last sentence.

Gretchen had never seen TJ this sad. Even when he was left all alone during the summer of 4th grade when everyone was at different summer camps and no one believed his stories he was never this sad. His eyes were red and puffy and the tears streaming down his cheeks were not yet dried up with fresh ones threatening to seep out from those troubled and distant eyes.

Gretchen could see this wasn't 'nothing' so she tried again. "Are you sure? If you want I can get the guys and we can…"

"NO" TJ raised his voice. "No I… I just… I'm going home. Don't worry about it."

Gretchen acknowledged her friends request and moved on for now but she knew that she, and the others, needed to help him with whatever it is bothering him.

Becky looked the same, if not worse, than TJ. She ran up to him before he reached the car for the tightest embrace she could give him. She knew what this meant and that they were in for some hard times ahead, but for now they needed to grieve together. To know they were both still within each other's grasp.

"It's going to be ok, I promise. We're going to be fine."

Becky's promises fell on deaf ears. TJ had his arms around his sister like someone was trying to pull her from him. His head rested on her shoulder, trying his best to hide himself from the world around him.

"Let's go home."

TJ nodded in return before entering the car while Becky thanked the principal outside.

* * *

After a few hours the tears had finally stopped in the Detweiler house only to be replaced with eerie silence. Both of the now orphaned children sat on the couch together in the living room, cuddled together for security. Becky had fallen asleep about 30 minutes ago from sheer mental exhaustion. TJ, however, could not. He didn't know what to think. His mind raced from all of the scenarios rushing through his head and an image of a plane falling from the sky scarring his mind.

A faint knock was heard at the door. If it hadn't of been so silent in the house he would have missed it. Making his way to the door TJ stopped in front of it. Could he face someone right now? What would he say to this person? He took a deep breath and opened the door.

You could count all the times Spinelli had been caught crying in front of someone on one hand, and this time now added plus one to that count. She stood in the doorway speechless. Without a word she reached for him before deciding on hugging him and telling him how sorry she was for him.

Her parents, being somewhat close to the Detweilers, had told her what happened after she got home from school. Bob and Flo Spinelli were keeping an eye on TJ and Becky while they were unsupervised. When they heard of the crash they knew straight away what had happened and wanted to help but Becky had told them to give them some time alone.

TJ didn't return the hug straight away. In his mind it would mean accepting the nightmare about his parents. A few seconds later he gave in. He thought he ran out of tears already but his wet eyes told him otherwise.

* * *

They were both now upstairs in TJ's room so they wouldn't wake Becky, they knew she needed to sleep just as much as TJ needed to as well. Sitting on his bed, against the head of it, Spinelli grabbed his hand.

"You know I'm here for ya, Teej?"

"Yeah"

He knew that the look on his face and his tone of voice was failing him right now so he kept words to a minimum.

"I know it's not the same but… with Joey away I know how it feels to miss people who aren't there anymore and I want to help you. I want to help my best friend."

"I don't know what to do." He looked straight into her eyes, showing her his pain through them. "What do I do?" He pleaded.

"Just go to sleep. We can sort it out in the morning."

"Thanks Spin."

Not 10 minutes later TJ was asleep using Spinelli's lap as a pillow. She was running her fingers through his hair. She was so torn. She only wants to help him but she can't even begin to imagine what it was like for him.

* * *

TJ didn't go to school the next day and his friends had called him to let him know that they're there for him and if he needs anything all he has to do is call. It seemed like people were saying that to him a lot lately.

TJ and Becky were having lunch together quietly when two men arrived at the house.

"You finish your lunch, I'll see who's here."

TJ stayed in his seat while, of course, still inconspicuously listening to who the surprise guests were and what they had to say. Eavesdropping is a habit he took in stride and you know what they say about old habits.

"Good afternoon miss, I'm joe and this is Paul. We are here from the child protection agency."


	4. Chapter 13: A spark

**Well here is the next part.**

 **Just gonna go on record and say now that I'm trying to make the story flow with how American schools work but it is heaps different here in Aus so give me a shout if somethings wrong.**

 **Anyways, hope you guys enjoy reading and that my time changing between chapters is easy enough to keep up with.**

 **Cheers for reading.**

* * *

"TJ, hey TJ, over here."

Looking around for the source of his name really gave a perspective on just how many students attended this school. Sifting through the crowds of people, TJ spotted none other than Vince calling him over. While hesitantly making his way over towards him he started to notice that Mikey was with him.

"I got the comic I was telling you about last night, if you still want it."

If Vince had gone through the effort of _actually_ bringing the thing in for him then he had to accept it. While thanking him for letting him borrow the comic Mikey had remained silent. Maybe now was a good time to try break the ice.

"Really I mean it, thanks Vince. Hey Mikey." TJ had turned his attention from placing the comic in his bag to the other _friend_ in front of him _._

"TJ, how are you my friend? And I'm quite good thank you." Came the reply from the lead actor of the drama club.

Mikey always had a big heart and his love for acting and singing _still_ brings him the same joy as it always has. It's a wonder though how two complete opposites like Vince and Mikey had remained friends for so long. Sports and drama. It was like that for the whole group of friends from fourth grade, really, they were all so different. Time spent together must really cement the connections between a group of people.

Back to Mikey's question, TJ had not expected such a friendly counter. It was reminiscent of when they would meet together at the start of school just months ago.

"I'm doing good, I think."

Sensing the awkwardness between the two, Vince stepped in.

"I was telling TJ last night about how I had the new Senõr Fusion and thought he might want a read of it."

Mikey's interest peaked. "What were you guys doing _together_ last night?"

TJ didn't even have a good guess as to what Mikey's reaction could be. He would need to chose his words carefully if he wanted to avoid more tension, so that his old friendships could have a chance to go back to how they were.

Of course Vince answered first during the time TJ was trying to construct a suitable answer.

"We were hanging out at Kelso's after school. Nothing big really."

"And you didn't invite _me_? You _know_ I can't turn down the chocolately goodness of the banana splits in the fine establishment."

TJ picked this opportunity to chime in. "We promise you can come along next time. The more the better I guess."

"Thank you TJ that would be lovely. Anyway I got to meet with the drama club before class starts so I'll see you guys later."

* * *

Since the first class of the day was P.E., TJ and Vince met up again there.

"Man I can't wait for summer break. Finally, next year we will be seniors."

TJ could hear Vince chatting with some other guys in the class in the locker room after their second session of dodgeball was over. It was true that the year was nearly over. They would complete any remaining assignments or exams that needed to be done over the next few days and that was it. Done.

"Hey Teej, what are your plans for the summer?"

Vince seemed to have a habit of trying to include him in things lately. Every time he did though all that would come to TJ's mind were the things that were said at the end of last month. Wherever this kindness is coming from now is a mystery, though TJ believes it might be something along the lines of guilt or regret.

"Oh, uh… I don't really know yet. Haven't really thought past the end of school."

"We should definitely hang out. Maybe we could play some ball down the park, catch a movie or even head down to the lake. It will better, and warmer, now than it was before Christmas."

There it was. How could he forgot last Christmas. The Christmas he spent alone. He hadn't been back to that lake since. Not that he didn't necessarily want to avoid it, he simply couldn't bring himself to go there. His legs gave out at the thought of it.

Sensing the mood dampen, Vince realised what he had said. How the day after TJ's last appearance at the lake had been... _that_ day.

"Shit, man I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up."

"No, no it's fine."

It _really_ wasn't.

TJ composed himself. "I got to get going so I'm not late to class. Talk to you later."

* * *

The lunch bell had finally rang and TJ was heading towards his locker to put his books away. He _hated_ when he had to walk from math because the classroom was at the end of the school grounds, and he had to walk past _him_. This used to be the time when they would meet up every week. Now hustler kid would just smile at him, expecting him to return any day now.

Reaching his locker quickly, TJ stopped a moment and took several deep breathes to help break away from the thoughts he was having. He knew he was never _completely_ addicted but the signs that he was on the path to it were definitely there.

Moving on from his brief moment he found himself in the cafeteria. Another day where they were serving something that if they never told you what it was you'd _never_ know, and today's meal was no different.

"TJ, come sit with me?"

Did something happen today where his popularity just skyrocketed. After he'd finally adjusted to a lonelier lifestyle people have now taken an interest in him. Not that others weren't friends with him, because they were. It was more of _who_ was taking an interest him that got him so worked up.

Mikey was sitting alone at one of the tables in the centre of the room. He could do this. All he had to do was walk over and sit with him, act all chummy and then go to class when the bell went. Simple.

"Hiya Mikey, how was the drama club thingy?"

"It was marvellous as usual. We are finalising our plans for next years production. It's going to be a dark and romantic tale of two young lovers kept apart by a hateful feud until they put aside their bigoted beliefs and unite as one."

Big words flew right over TJ's head while he focused on the main parts of Mikey's ramblings.

"Spoiler alert." TJ laughed. "That sounds a lot like Romeo and Juliet, if I had to guess."

"Well after reading it in English not long ago it may of had some influence..." Mikey defended. "But we are going to be adding our own creative flare."

"And that you will." Came an approaching voice from behind Mikey.

Gus, with Gretchen standing right next to him. In his focus on Mikey TJ had forgotten that the others would show up eventually. Of course they would, they're all _friends_. How _stupid_ of him to forget such a small detail.

"TJ, how nice to see you." Gretchen said with uncertainty in her voice, also bringing Gus' attention to him sitting there with Mikey.

The two were now looking at him deciding on how to approach this situation. They had obviously decided on caution as they both sat on Mikey's side of the table while leaving him on his own side. It's what he expected. This was hard for him so it would have to be for them as well.

"It's good to see you too, and you too Gus."

Gus appreciated the friendliness of the situation, especially when he knows how everyone _could_ be acting towards each other right now.

"So what's new?" Gus asked no one in particular.

"TJ and I were just discussing the plans the drama club were preparing for next year."

"Drama club would be so much easier right now. I've been stuck learning military history from my dad. It's so boring. It wouldn't be so bad but by history I mean with swords and stuff. It's not even relevant for today."

Gus was still working towards entering the military after he finished high school. He was disciplined and would train regularly but now his dad is shifting the focus on the mental side of warfare, all aspects of it. He wanted his son to be a leader and not follow blindly when the time came.

Throughout their casual conversation Gretchen remained quiet. Her scientific mind observing those around her to determine the relationships between everyone she was currently sitting with. She knows how the body works and that addiction is a powerful and overwhelming thing. TJ always possessed a strong will, but he isn't quite the same boy now that he once was.

"Where is Vince?" TJ asked.

The thought had just dawned on him. Vince was the one that was trying to include TJ in everything and now that he isn't here he was feeling slightly vulnerable around the others.

"He has basketball practice. He said something about the team needing to stay as one." Gus informed him.

"Sorry I'm late guys. Stupid teacher said I was the troublemaker."

Arriving at the table, it suddenly became crowded. _Spinelli_ noticed TJ and locked eyes with him immediately.

"What's _he_ doing here?" Subtlety is not her style.

TJ couldn't look her in the eye, or anyone else for that matter.

"He's just sitting with us Spinelli." Mikey explained, in the same nature that a cow would talk to the owner of a slaughterhouse if it could. He knows that he can't stop the inevitable.

"What do _you_ want? Where do you get off at thinking that we _want_ you back?"

He knew this was coming but it still hurt. It hurt because she had _every_ reason to be angry. _He_ was to blame. _He_ messed up. _He_ pushed them away.

TJ went to stand. "I'm sorry. I'll just go."

"Don't bother, I'm leaving already." In an instant she was gone.

Gretchen got up and went to follow her. "I'll go calm her down." She glanced at TJ with a look he couldn't quite decipher. Anger or sympathy?

All of a sudden, with the three boys left at the table there was nothing to talk about. Looking at the time, Mikey realised there wasn't much of it left before the bell would ring so he thought he might as well head to his locker. Before he did, he would offer TJ some kind words that he knew he needed.

"It's good that you're at least _trying_ TJ. A lot of people would give up and avoid everyone, but you haven't. _Friends_ don't give up on _friends_."

TJ forced out a small smile at the edge of his lips and gave Mikey a quick nod and thank you. He really did need to hear something nice right now.

"When I first got to town you helped me. When everyone said to avoid the new kid, you _didn't_."

Now Gus was having his turn at letting TJ know how he felt. It seems to be starting off well, so far.

"But this _isn't_ the same." Gus continued. "It was hard on us, _all_ of us, and we still got a long way to go. If you are going to try then so will I. I'll try because you _honestly_ deserve it. You would do the same. I'll see you later."

Gus left TJ alone for the couple minutes left before the bell went. Looking around he now realised where he was. Centre of the cafeteria. People heard the argument and were sending stray glances at him, now _alone_.

* * *

Walking home gave TJ time to think of what happened today. He could be driving right now but Becky needs the car more than he does. Besides, she _is_ the one working. Soon she is going to be getting a permanent teaching position at an elementary school about half an hour away. Life will get easier then.

TJ tries to help out with money when he can and will occasionally do odd jobs with a friend of Becky's. Those jobs aren't overly rare but they're often enough for him at the moment. He spends a fair amount of time after school keeping the house clean, the lawns mowed and other daily chores. It's the _least_ he can do to help out Becky. She especially loves his cooking but insists they take it in turns doing that job when she's home.

During his walk he reached into his pocket for his phone and called a friend that he knows. He really didn't want to be left with his thoughts right now so getting out and doing something, _anything_ , would be good.

Stuart answered after a few seconds. He is a tall and skinny, some often describe him as lanky, red haired boy. They had become friends during TJ's time away at the start of the year and have kept in contact ever since. Stuart now lives a 20 minute bus ride away so they often agree to meet in the middle at a local skate park.

Sometimes, depending on the day, there will be some other boys from where he met Stuart lingering around at the skate park. TJ doesn't skate, and neither do most of the other guys that he'll meet there, but it's a convenient meeting spot. No one troubles the kids that often around there and they are left to do what they want.

* * *

Reaching home TJ had some time to kill. He had agreed to meet Stuart in an hour so he won't be leaving in the next little while.

Apparently Becky wasn't working like usual and was currently standing in the kitchen with some form of dessert she had been making.

"What's with the daytime baking?" TJ asked.

"Thought I'd surprise you since they didn't need me in at work this morning. I still got to head off soon though for tonight's shift."

He _hated_ how much she worked for him. He feels so guilty and she would always turn down the idea of him leaving school for a job because he needs to 'prepare for his future'. They understand each other though well enough and work really well as a family unit, even now that it's smaller.

"That's ok. I'm heading out to see Stuart in a bit." Seeing his sister's face change, he quickly extended his sentence. "And I promise I won't be out too late."

"Even if you are out late you know I'll have no proof but... I just worry when you go out with any of those guys."

It's true, Becky, working late, would never _really_ know what time he'd get in but he does keep it sensible. He owes her that much.

"There's _nothing_ to worry about. Stuart's cool. It's Isaac that causes trouble and I'm pretty sure he won't be there tonight if he still has the same cleaning duty days."

"Ok then. Just make sure there's no nasty falls again."

"Promise and cross my heart."

With Becky now satisfied with TJ's response she retreated to the bathroom for a shower. TJ went to his own room, after taking a piece of Becky's cooking of course.

Now that he's by himself he couldn't help but think of lunchtime. Spinelli was _furious_ with him and he doesn't know where he stands with Gretchen yet but the guys seem to be willing to cut him some slack. Despite what was said in their last group meeting and the declarations that they would _never_ speak again, they were still friends to some level. You can't just throw away what they had like that.

Realistically this could work. Given that he would need some time, maybe they will be just like before. But what if they didn't get better? What if he messed up again? What if it's not entirely his fault? He _always_ used to accept responsibility, and the blame if need be, so what if he's doing that again now?

This was _too much_ to think about right now. Checking on the time he decided that he better start leaving so he doesn't miss his bus. He can leave these problems to another day.

Right now he's got a friend to see.


	5. Chapter 14: Summer things

**Hello again guys and gals, back again.**

 **It seems my chapters are getting longer and longer but I'm trying not too take too much longer writing them. Thanks for the reviews and yeah TJ has a couple of problems but I'll get to the reason for them all later. I'm stoked at nearly having 200 views already and it's really keeping me writing.**

 **Anyways, cheers again for reading and see you all next time.**

* * *

Summer represents the sun high in the sky, the warmth that it brings, the days out with friends and family. It also meant being away from school.

The _last day_ had been yesterday and now TJ was relishing in the weekend that was going to last for weeks. He was thankful that he didn't have regular classes lately and only had to attend his exams on certain days. After their 'loud talk' during lunch those several days ago, the rest of the students were all whispering with each other. Typical school gossip.

Regardless of wherever that incident ranked on the gossip scale, it had long died down for those not involved. However, for the others it was _still_ unclear due to the lack of communications between them all, mainly TJ. Between 'studying' and actually being at school, he had only seen a few of the guys and it was hardly the talk they needed, or the one he wanted.

Right now TJ had bigger questions on his mind. The summer holidays were here and he needs _something_ to do. He's considered reaching out to Vince, since _he_ did want to hang out sometime. He could give either Stuart or one of those other guys a call, but he only just saw them recently. This was shaping up to be a difficult decision.

As if able to read his mind the bedroom door suddenly swung open to reveal Becky standing in front of him. No respect.

"Are you _ever_ going to get up?"

"I will as soon as I can be bothered."

"TJ, it's nearly lunchtime. Now hurry and get ready cause you and me are going out for lunch."

Becky has changed the most out of anyone TJ knew. She wasn't the brat of an older sister that she used to be. She was very motherly, though TJ wouldn't describe her that way. It wasn't the 'tuck you into bed and make you lunch to take to school' way but, in a more sisterly way, a 'you're my family and I'm gonna make you happy in the most randomest of ways' type of way.

"Ok." TJ faked a sigh. "You twisted my arm. Now can you _please_ give me some privacy so I can get dressed. Pretty please."

Maybe a day out with his sister will do him some good today. They're each other's best friend and TJ could not be more grateful.

* * *

These types of outings weren't uncommon between the two Detweiler children and they have yet again returned to their favourite burger joint. Lunch was spent making a mess as the contents of the food would fall out all over the plate and the grease of the fried meat leaked through their already dirty hands. No matter how often they _cleaned_ themselves, the next bite gave the _same result_.

The rest of the day consisted of a little shopping, _not_ TJ's idea, and watching a new movie out at the cinema. The best thing about days out with Becky is that that's _all_ they were. Simply going out to spend time _together_. There was no hidden agenda or trying to trying to trick the other to go to a certain place.

TJ couldn't help but smile on their drive home. He was the happiest he's been in a little while and was so carefree to the world around him. That was until he got a text from Vince.

Vince: _Hey TJ what you up to?_

TJ: _nothing much you?_

Vince: _just seeing if you wanna hang out on Tuesday. Coach said he's gonna give us a bit of slack these holidays_

Thinking about Vince's offer made TJ realise something. He _did_ want to see Vince. The problem was with _why_ Vince wants to see him. If… when he sees Vince they are gonna have to talk. The unknown of it all leaves him with too much to be left to his imagination.

TJ: _yeah sounds good. I'll come to yours around lunch_

Vince: _sweet see you there_

During TJ's texting session they had pulled into the driveway and arrived home for the night, most likely to heat up some popcorn and watch something on TV. May as well finish the day on a high.

"So who were you texting?"

"Just Vince, Becky. I'm going to his house on Tuesday."

"So you're friends again?"

She asks him questions because she cares, he _knows_ that. It's just that sometimes he doesn't have a good answer, or _any_ answer at all. He might be a little more grateful if she gave him a bit more room to breath.

"We might be… but I don't know." Receiving the raised eyebrow from his sister, still in the driver's seat, he continued. "I _don't know_ what they think. It's like we're all pretending the fight never happened."

"We both know it _wasn't_ a fight. They were trying to _help_ you TJ. They _are_ your friends."

"I know. I'll sort it all out, I promise. Most of them seem to want to anyway."

"Most of?"

Yet again _another_ question that has a difficult answer. It's like she knows what's really bugging him but some things he needs to sort out _himself_. He learnt that about himself when his parents died. The support was nice but he _needed_ to accept himself in his own skin, regardless of any situation he was in. It's a tough process and he knows he has to go through with things like _this_.

"Yeah, some of them are still really angry."

"Like who?"

TJ took a breath in. "Spinelli... I don't want to talk about it though. Can we just go eat tonnes of chocolate on the couch or something?"

"Sounds like a plan." Becky laughed.

* * *

Tuesday had arrived and TJ was actually looking forward to getting out of the house after his 'restful' days, as he likes to think of them. Becky had already left for work before he had woke up and he was now having his late breakfast before he set out.

He had spent some time after his decision that he and Vince needed to talk to practice what he would say. It would be something like 'hey Vince, why are we pretending nothing happened?' Or 'I'm really sorry about fighting with the others the other day while you were at practice, why do they hate me so much?'

Before walking out the door he stopped himself and mentally slapped his head. The Senõr Fusion comic. He read it on Sunday so what better time to return it than now. He surprises himself with his geniusness sometimes. Running quickly upstairs to his room and back down again, he was back in the doorway in no time. Doing the last check that he had everything he needed, especially his house keys so he won't get locked out, he left for Vince's.

The walk was quick and he could avoid the awkward knocking on his front door because he was already in his driveway shooting hoops.

"Nice shot." TJ yelled from two houses away.

Vince, now aware of TJ's presence, turned to face him.

"That's nothing. I'm just warming up right now."

"So modest of you." TJ remarked.

The look in Vince's eye changed into a more challenging glare, sizing up his opponent. "How about 1 on 1 then, mister big shot?"

While laughing, TJ accepted the challenge, and eventually lost by a landslide. He _knew_ he would have from the moment Vince had asked to play. It has been that way for as long as TJ had known him for, and that was a long time now. The captain didn't get his spot on the basketball team because he luckily got his name picked out of a hat.

The boys had worked up a sweat and decided to move inside to cool off and get a drink. His house was quiet with everyone being out. His parents would be at work, and truth be told he wouldn't know if Chad was home or not. He usually preferred being on his own anyways. _Super cool_ Chad loved his board games and would most likely be in a friend's basement or something.

In Vince's room, just down the hall, TJ reminded himself of the one job he _actually_ needed to do.

"Before I forget, here." He reached into his bag to grab the comic. "Thanks for letting me borrow it."

"It's all cool. What are friends for."

Now to the the one job he _really_ needed to do. No putting it off now.

"Are we cool Vince?" Came TJ's monotone and shaky voice.

This _had_ to be done. TJ _had_ to know where they stood with each other.

"You know we are Teej."

Vince looked on edge and there was no denying it. He knew _exactly_ what TJ had meant, but was avoiding it anyway. Everyone knows guys aren't good at talking, like _properly_ talking, but this time would have to be an exception. It was eating TJ alive and he needed at least some answers.

"I mean we, as in the whole group. Are _we_ still friends?" TJ sounded almost like he was pleading with him.

"It's hard." Came Vince's unusually soft voice. "I thought about it all and we were friends _before_ it all and we should still be friends _after_ it."

"But people change Vince, and I'm sorry I did."

"Teej," Vince paused, "I know you regret. When we started high school we were so scared we would stop hanging out together. Look what happened. We _didn't_. We stayed together. _Still_ have."

All the practice talks TJ thought of and not one of them sounded like this. Vince is his buddy. The sports star, the secret culinary master and hairdressing partner, on that one occasion. He was still that same Vince.

"I'm not gonna lie though."

This had made TJ visibly tense. He silently prayed for something good.

"The others are still a bit mad about it."

Mikey wasn't, Gus seemed cautious but not mad and Gretchen was something else entirely.

"I know, Spinelli _hates_ me." TJ felt the _guilt_ rise through him.

"It won't be nothing serious, I'm sure. You guys were just closer so it probably affected her a bit more."

Normally this would issue a blush but it instead made him feel so much worse. They _were_ close and she is one stubborn girl, that is now _extremely_ angry at him. Anger maybe isn't the simple emotion at the root of her actions, and in the back of TJ's mind he knew the _perfect_ word to describe it, but wouldn't use it.

Vince thought he may aswell keep up the tradition of easing TJ back into the group with his new plan.

"Why don't you come hang with us next week? We were thinking of going down to the park and hang out around town."

"I don't know. Would they be fine with it?" TJ asked, more to himself than Vince.

"Yeah it will be cool. I'll tell them you're coming and I'll message you where we are meeting up. For now though, I got an awesome new game that you can lose to me on."

"It's a deal. And you're on."

* * *

True to his word, Vince had messaged him later in the week telling him to meet up at Kelso's. TJ was nervous and has prepared himself to be kicked out, physically, when he gets there, even though according to Vince there was no problem at all with him being there. He didn't say so specifically, but he also _didn't_ say that there _was_ a problem.

During the week TJ had caught up with Stuart, who decided he needed to get out of his house for a little while. Stuart knows _everything_ that TJ's dealing with, and vice versa. Stuart has his own problems as well and, being abandoned by his parents that are still alive, probably had it harder than TJ did.

They both found it easy to confide in each other and is why they became better friends out of all the other guys. Stuart calmed TJ's nerves and reminded him that he knows who his friends are and that it's all gonna be fine. As long as he could remember that _today_ then he will be fine.

* * *

At Kelso's already were Gretchen and Spinelli sitting in the same booth they would frequently occupy, waiting for the others. Out of _all_ people it had to be them first. Why couldn't one of the guys be here for this moment for at least a little emotional support.

"What?"

"Spinelli, listen to me. We _all_ agreed that he can come so _please_ help make this work."

Clearly Spinelli was having second thoughts about him already. Trust Gretchen to be a calming voice. He should have known, he _did_ know. He was in no way prepared for a normal and happy day with his friends.

"Then why didn't you guys tell _me_? Am I not trustworthy?"

Spinelli's word rang in TJ's head as he reached the booth they were sitting at, standing in front of it. She _didn't know_ he was coming. They all did but _didn't_ tell her.

"We knew that you would react this way Spinelli if we had." Gretchen tried to reason with her.

TJ felt hurt. A small part of him _really_ believed it was going to work.

"Don't worry you two, I'll leave you guys alone."

"TJ you don't have to…"

"Yes, he does." Spinelli interrupted.

TJ thought hard for a second before deciding to _try_ _his best_ with what he had.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I _know_ I messed up and I'm trying to make it better and I just thought we could hang out like we always did. I guess that's just _another_ thing I've done wrong but please Spinelli I want to make it better."

"You don't get the choice to. You know it's going to take _way_ more than _that_ to fix it."

At this Gretchen looked slightly puzzled, as if there was something else that may had sparked this deeper hatred. At the same time the rest of the gang had appeared and already understood what was going on. They had _hoped_ to be here _before_ they had the chance to fight.

"It wasn't even my idea to come but I did because I thought _you guys_ wanted me to." TJ's own anger was starting to surface. "I told you that I had a problem back then and you pushed anyway. I get _why_ you did but it was hard on me too and I'm _not_ doing this again."

TJ was now leaving Kelso's and the gang decided to aswell, in separate directions of course. If they weren't yelling at the start they definitely were now that they were outside. Something about being in a confined room with other people around had somehow kept them sensible.

"You weren't the only one hurt by it you know. Every part of me wants to beat that into ya thick skull." Spinelli yelled at the back of his head.

TJ found his feet had stopped moving and his heartbeat picking up speed. He turned to face her, and the others. His voice getting stuck in his throat as he tried to think of what to say.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to but... I couldn't stop. The prescription ran out and I knew it was wrong but I _needed_ it. I wanted to keep you guys out of it because of something like _this_. I needed to fix it by _myself_ and I swear that I have now."

Nothing. Not one word. It was evident that today was _not_ going to be a day out together like it was planned to be.

"Let's try this again another day?" Gus suggested.

No one answered and they all began on their own way. Some alone time will give them all the space they need to process everything. Before TJ got away he felt a hand in his shoulder.

"Do you promise that you're better? That you're not just telling us what we want to hear to ease our minds?"

Gretchen appeared as serious as she could ever be as she questioned him. He knew that Gretchen _already_ believed him otherwise she would have tested him or something similar for hard evidence. He likes being able to read his friends like that. He looked over her shoulder and saw Vince returning his stare, a disappointed look being worn on his face as he nodded to him and left.

"I swear it. Gretchen, I know you don't have to believe me but I'm telling the truth."

He would have carried on with his ramblings in his highly emotional state, but stopped himself before he did. Gretchen was _never_ one to appreciate beating around the bush anyway.

"Okay then."

With those two words, she left him to go home for the day. Maybe he might just have _another_ day watching videos on the Internet before Becky got home.

* * *

"Don't worry about those guys, they seem a little stuck up."

Stuart's opinion was never going to be empathetic towards the others. He is a loyal kid that stands up for _his_ friends, whether they deserve it or not, a quality TJ has _always_ sought after and gravitated towards, no matter who possessed it.

"It's not like that because I know it was because of _me_ that they're upset."

"Who cares. People aren't like rocks, we don't stay the same. You're brain is a little like one sometimes though." Stuart snickered at his, self-proclaimed, clever words.

"This whomps."

"What?"

TJ hadn't used that word in what feels like _forever_. With age he has grown out of the custom to avoid more colourful language, along with the need to find replacement words and phrases. 'Whomps' wasn't really just a _word_ , it was a _memory_. It was a time where the hardest part of the day was trying to digest the canteen food or avoiding Randall Weems, the weasel.

Something about his slip of the word brought a smile to his face.

"It's just some word I used to replace 'shit' with so I'd never get in trouble. It worked too, I even won the court case."

Stuart laughed like it was the best joke he'd ever heard. "A court case, yeah right. Who takes a _kid_ to court?"

"You'd be surprised. But back to it, I think the others will come around but I need to talk to Spinelli properly." Even now TJ was unconsciously devising a plan. It was just in his nature.

"You need a miracle by the sounds of it. Women are hard enough sometimes, like they're a whole different species."

The male brain works well with _other_ male brains. They seem to live by the same set of rules and a problem to one guy is clearly seen as a problem by another. Girls, however, seem to view everything _completely_ different. What troubles a guy is not a big deal to them, but what is fine to a guy is really _not fine_ to a girl. TJ still has so much to learn.

"I know what the problem is this time. I know what I have to do."

"Just get her some flowers or something."

"Stuff like that won't work with her, trust me."

* * *

The majority of the summer was more of the same. He would catch up with the gang one at a time, or in small groups, but Spinelli seemed adamant in avoiding him but would tolerate his presence from time to time, when they were _all_ there together. He also spent a fair amount of time at the skatepark with his non-school friends, he liked to keep things fair on everyone.

School was coming up soon and TJ had already picked his subjects and gotten the _most_ of the books that he'll need for his senior year. Things were starting to look up. They weren't perfect but everyone seemed be fine with the term _friends_ again.

To celebrate the start of the year there was going to be a huge party for all the new seniors, hosted by the one, or _many_ , and only, The Ashley's. Those four girls may as well be one person with how they act. They think the sun comes straight out of their asses and that daddy can fix _all_ of their problems that they could possibly have in those giant mansions of theirs.

Maybe a party would be exactly what they need. Of course, while still not being a _huge_ fan of The Ashley's, TJ was still going to that party. _Everyone_ would be going for sure, and now that they're seniors it's going to be even wilder. The problem would be buying alcohol though, since he isn't quite 21 and Becky sure won't be helping him with that.

He can cross that bridge later, since school won't be starting for another couple of weeks. He doesn't even know if he _will_ be drinking because, realistically, there is no actual point to it in his mind, until the _actual_ night of the party where he forgets his reasoning and has a couple anyway, only a couple.

Time will tell how things play out. Either way he _will_ be going with his friends regardless.


	6. Chapter 3: Legally kidnapped

**Sorry I took a bit longer with this one. This is another longish one so hopefully you all like it and it makes up for the extra couple of days I spent on it. The chapters are over double that of what the first couple were.**

 **If you guys prefer shorter chapters or have any other ideas that are good, let me know. I'm still learning with all this and I want you guys to like it.**

 **For now I'll leave you all to it.**

* * *

"... We are here from the child protection agency."

They've been at the house for over an hour now explaining what _has_ to happen. These two guys, strangers, that are merely following the rules, are _ruining_ their lives.

TJ is underage. He is a dependant and that's a fact he can't change. He will be placed under the care of the government until the paperwork can be sorted. There is no family in the area to help and his brother is _still_ away serving his country.

"We will allow you both tonight to be able to process all of this. In the morning we will come back so please have your bags packed, only essentials. There is a foster home not half an hour away and you will be free to visit whenever you feel, just speak to the facility directly to organise it. We are _sorry_ for your _loss_."

Shock had settled in once they had left and TJ couldn't even form a comprehensible thought. Turning around he found his sister slouched over the table and not moving. The moment he closed the door she raised her head to show him the stream of tears flooding her face, but she was still silent.

"What do we do?"

TJ likes to think himself the leader but now he needs someone to help him. To make a plan for him. He needs Becky to be this person despite the reality that she _can't_ be right now. There is no rock to lean on in this situation and come tomorrow morning they _would_ be split apart until something is figured out.

"I don't know." Came Becky's answer through her sobs.

"How can they do this? We are a family." His voice was getting higher and higher.

"I don't know TJ."

"How long are they taking me for? I'm not going to go to some house when I already have one. It's _not_ fair. What if they _never_ let me back? What if they _don't_ let you visit me? And what about all my _friends_ cause if they are coming in the morning then I…"

"TJ, please, just stop for a minute."

Defeat plagued her voice. Becky had never, even remotely, been close to _anything_ like this. She needed time to process everything and think of a way to make it right, if there is one.

The sound of TJ falling into the couch brought her out of her thoughts. He was so tense sitting there. He wasn't slouched forward or lethargically leaning against the back of it, he just looked so… small.

She knew she had to comfort him, he was the one being _taken_ , and she desperately needed it herself too, because he was being taken from _her_. He felt her sit next to him and also the arm she placed over his shoulders. With this he leaned into her and took in the moment.

Becky tried to think of _anything_ to say, even if was false hope. However, she came up empty handed. They both knew how this was going to end so why spend this time denying it while they can just be together while they can, not during _visiting_ hours.

* * *

With his bags packed, TJ was somewhat prepared for the morning and while going through his stuff he had found _so many_ things around his room. Old pictures with all his friends and family, old comics that he thought the _world_ used to revolve around and even his old stuffed animal, Mr monk-monk.

There are so many memories around him and it is slowly breaking him thinking of them all. He doesn't even have the _time_ to say goodbye to his friends properly. He had been forced to call them all and break the news, which he has been doing for the last little while, since he and Becky have so much to prepare for at home. Making an exception for his last call, he decides he will walk a few houses over and tell her face to face.

Flo Spinelli answers the door and she finds him gloomily standing in front of her with his hat facing forward for a change, to hide the sadness in his eyes from them, and Mr. monk-monk held in his hands.

"TJ, how are you holding up?"

"I'm _fine_ Mrs. Spinelli. Is Spin around?"

"Sure sweetie, she's up in her room." She pauses. She can only imagine what he's going through. "You know you don't have to knock to come in our house TJ. You are welcome to come straight in."

"Thanks."

This place _is_ like a second house to him, he knows every part of it. Between having to come drag Spinelli to school or just chilling together at other times, he had become very familiar with it. This time was, regrettably, _not_ one of those visits.

"Knock knock." TJ called from her bedroom door to try and get her attention out of her drawings.

She turned around, and out of habit, was not alarmed by his sudden presence.

"Hey Teej, what are you… is that Mr. monk-monk? Is that mine cause if it is I don't know how you got it."

TJ forced a smirked. "Yeah… it is. I um… it's mine… I want you to... to look after it for me."

"What do you _mean_ look after it? I already got one and I don't want to be swamped by them."

To be honest she was using humour to hide her confusion. Something seemed off about him and she wasn't liking it one bit. It might have something to do with his hat being weird. She can fix that, at least.

"Can you fix your hat up and wear it properly. I can hardly recognise ya."

She grabbed it off of his head and soon wish she hadn't.

"TJ, why are you crying?"

It took a _long_ moment for any sort of recognition that she had asked a question.

"I'm going to a foster home. I'm leaving in the morning."

He was so blatant about it. He didn't have the energy to tell her any other way but she deserves to know from him directly.

She was going to lose him. All she could wonder was if she was _ever_ going to see him again or if he was going to be ok where he's going. She didn't know where to begin.

"How long for?" Like she believed he was coming back soon.

"I don't know. Hopefully not for too long."

He didn't want to dwell in this moment and just wanted to leave quickly, because breaking down was something he had been doing a lot often and didn't want that to happen now in front of _her_.

"I just wanted to tell you face to face, I already called the other guys. I don't know why I brought this thing but can you please hold it for me."

She reached out to grab the monkey toy from his hand with one hand and grabbed his, now empty, hand with the other, she didn't want to _let go_. Simply holding his hand felt like holding onto a ledge that was slowly getting smaller and she couldn't stop it.

"Spin, please I don't want to drag this out or anything. I got to go."

"Why don't you stay here with _us_ , my parents will let you stay any day and you know it. We can work it out."

She was desperate. She was under the impression now that this may be the _last_ time they see each other and she has had him in her life for so long. She knew foster homes often have their own school so he won't be seeing her much from now on. She has been crushing on him long before her parents blurted it out at teachers night and he definitely felt the same.

Despite this he wouldn't act on it, not now that he was _leaving_.

"I'll come back, I swear."

She knew when he was lying. He doesn't know if he really will return so he also doesn't believe what he's telling her right now. In her last attempt she squeezes his hand tighter and leans in towards him. He feels his blood warm up, he has dreamt about this moment so many times, his _best friend_.

His eyes close shut and he pulls back slightly, but enough for her to notice. He can't and won't do this to her. All she could do was stare at him. It was taking _everything_ she had to keep it together and she was sure it was showing.

"I'm sorry Spin, I'll see you around."

* * *

"What am I going to do now?"

TJ found himself in his new room after _finally_ unpacking and now thought talking to open air would be something good to try. The room was small and fit six beds in total, so there are five other guys around here somewhere. The _whole_ building was old and the paint wasn't falling off the walls _yet_ but it definitely wasn't fresh.

The worse part would have to be the smell. The one window on the far wall didn't allow for much light and had no way of being opened, which let the smell of teenage boy linger around in the already stuffy rooms.

"Looks like we got a new kid."

"Who are you?"

"What are you doing here?"

"This is my room you ferret."

They were all out at lunch when he arrived but it seems that now it's over and he can meet all his new roommates. There were too many _new_ voices and he didn't know a good way to start the conversation with the group pouring into the room.

"Hey, I'm TJ, I'm apparently in here with you guys now."

One by one he started to get settled with the others. There is Matthew, Isaac, Oliver, Kai and Stuart.

"I hope you learn your place quick buddy."

Oliver spoke in such a playful way that it was menacing. He saw TJ as a _new toy_ and looked like he wanted to play with his head a little while he can, but he didn't seem like the leader of the group. It was as if he was waiting for permission to do or say anything significant.

Everyone seemed to be sizing him up. Trying to figure what type of person _he_ is and whether or not they want to be seen with him. Guys have a hierarchy, always have, and in a place like this where there's so many people, there is bound to be one.

"Don't worry too much about him."

"I'll try not to, umm…"

"Kai. I'm on the bed opposite to you. For tonight though, don't get too comfy cause it's gonna be a late one."

"Thanks."

He was sceptical of everyone right now and he was sure he was in for something tonight. He was determined not to let his guard down.

* * *

TJ felt himself being pushed and poked when he woke up. It was two in the morning and even though he _tried_ not to fall asleep, like he was warned, he did.

"Get up newbie."

"Yeah, up you get."

His whole room was up and were playing around with the window together. Stuart had left the group and came over to him quietly.

"Don't worry, it's not too bad. Everyone in this room is close so they just want to make sure you fit in. Now get up."

Before he could get a word in it was too late. The window was opened, somehow, and everyone was already making their way through it.

Isaac's head remained through the opening, staring at him.

"Well, get a move on. We don't have all day."

It didn't seem like there was much of a _choice_ so he followed suit and went through the window after them. TJ knew this place was two stories high but he _swore_ he was on the bottom level, because he never climbed any stairs to get to his room. This was proved wrong when he got outside and found himself on a _roof_. He was on the main floor so the second level must be below him, or maybe there is a third level. He will have to explore when he gets up in the morning.

"We got to head over there." Isaac ordered while pointing to the other side of the building. "It's easy to climb up and down."

Reaching where they wanted to get, TJ found there was a chain fence roughly 6 feet (2 metres) from the fence. All the other guys were _jumping_ onto the fence from the roof to climb down safely.

A hand suddenly gave TJ a light pat on the back. "You'll be fine." Stuart was reassuring him that it's not even that big of a gap, but it was still a decent _drop_ one story down.

"Yeah just keep up. Who cares if ya fall anyways." Kai demonstrated to him how _easy_ it was supposed to be.

TJ and Stuart followed and it wasn't as bad as TJ had thought it would be. Less than a second in the air before he caught the fence.

"What are we doing?" TJ had enough with the games.

"Just going to relax for a bit. Chill out." Oliver seemed bored already at how slow they were being, with TJ being the dead weight.

TJ scoffed to himself and did what he was told. After walking a few blocks over they had arrived at a skate park. Matthew had walked over to a nearby bush and pulled out two skateboards, that they obviously shared.

"Want one?"

Oliver was holding out a pack of smokes, with one already lit underneath his dirty blonde hair that looks like it he just wakes up and leaves it for the day.

"No thanks, not a big fan of them."

Isaac just joined the group that was now forming, sitting around on random ramps and steps.

"What are you a _fan_ of then? And what have they dragged you into _our_ room for?"

"I guess because you had a spare bed?"

Oliver laughed before getting up to ride around with Kai. The others also had a similar response but still stayed sitting.

"He meant what happened to your _parents_. You don't have to tell us, mine left me on the doorstep and drove off a couple years ago. Drugs." Stuart quietly told him.

"They are… that plane crash a couple days ago… they were in it." All the thoughts were returning to him quickly now.

They all seemed to understand, not judging him in the way he thought they would. Of course, they were all _here_ as well so they must be in a similar mind frame.

"You do any tricks?" Kai obviously trying to lighten the mood, was offering him his board.

"Never tried."

"You're about to then. Just hang the board over the ledge and drop in." Isaac almost demanded.

"I don't know…"

"Don't be a wuss." Oliver teased from the other side of the park.

"Just lean forward when you do. Now go." Yet again Isaac being forceful.

"Fine, I'll give it a shot."

He went to the top of the small ramp in the centre and placed the board over the edge and held it there with his right foot. He was a bit nervous but they were all _watching_. This was the point of tonight, to _test_ him. With a deep breath he pushed his left foot down on the front of the board and the moment it touched the ground it slid from under his feet, leaving him to eat the cold concrete.

The others found this hilarious, even Matthew who never spoke much. They expected this result from someone's first try and it never ceased to amuse them. Falling is a worldwide form of comedy.

"So what else do you do?" Kai asked after they all settled back down.

The night continued like this until 4 in the morning, sharing stories, before they knew they had to head back. This group were _nothing_ like his friends back home while somehow _exactly_ the same.

* * *

By the time breakfast was being served the boys were operating on 2-3 hours sleep. The hall was packed full of all the kids in the home, of all ages, trying to get their meals and their favourite seats.

TJ felt like he was on a school camp, which helped with his thoughts of being _stuck_ here. Most of the people were younger than him and there are only a few that are older. The home can't keep people once they turn 18 due to the fact that the law says they can look after themselves, they got it lucky tough as at some homes the kids 'age out' at 16.

TJ sat with everyone from his room and they were all enjoying themselves, TJ mostly benefiting from the distraction it brought. This lasted until a 17 year old came over to their table. Apparently because he is a year older than them he deserves _more_ food, _their_ food.

Isaac challenged him the moment he arrived and it warranted the same response from the rest of their table. TJ felt he had to aswell so he made his presence known but tried not to get _too_ involved.

"And who's the newbie you got there?" At least he tried.

"I'm TJ…"

"It doesn't matter to you so fuck off." Isaac clearly did not want this guy around.

With the ratio of kids to carers there was always little supervision on what they did, add this with the fact that the smaller kids need more attention, they really _could_ do what they want most of the time.

"We'll see. Talk to you later boys." The older kid walked away, leaving a growing suspicion in the rest of the group.

"What's that all about." TJ was so out of place here.

"Just people being assholes. Typical." Kai shrugged.

Stuart turned to him. "When no one stops you from doing anything you learn to think you can, whenever you want. Give it another couple of days and you'll see all the fights, you can't really avoid them in _this place_."

This gave TJ a small wake up call. He really wanted to go _home_ right now and couldn't wait until he did. This place really _wasn't_ for him.

* * *

A couple days later Becky was finally allowed to visit, as he needed time to settle in, according to the rules.

TJ walked through 2 big doors into a lounge type room where visitors came to see the boys.

"TJ! Oh my god I missed you so… What's that on your eye?"

Becky stopped dead in her tracks and took in the black eye. He had been fighting, or was it bullying on the new kid? It broke her heart that she couldn't help him anymore from her position and she wanted nothing else than to _take him_ with her.

He wasn't exactly fighting though. Later in the day, after the first breakfast, the older kid came back with _all_ of his friends. They didn't win the fight but they also didn't lose it either, which surprised TJ because he never really _fought_ before. The adrenaline rush kicked in and he just went on instincts and it took nearly an hour to calm down and then the pain kicked in. He took a _good hit_ to his left eye.

"Just some older guys who think they're so tough, it's nothing. I'm fine."

"TJ, that looks _huge_."

"It looks worse than it is. So, how have you been?" This question made TJ homesick instantly.

"I've been busy. I think I know how to get you home. I will be finishing college soon and they've given me a deadline for getting a full time job, by the end of next year. Because of the money _left_ _to_ _us_ we can last a while but between college and work I'll pick up an extra job and they said that should be enough."

She was rambling about a point he _thought_ he knew but she hadn't yet said it out loud. So really he was losing her train of thought fast.

"What does all this mean?"

"It means I'll have the financial stability to become your legal guardian."

This was the best news he has heard in his _whole_ life. He can go home. It won't be the same as before, he knows that, but he wants to be there more than anything.

"It's going to take a little while for the court dates but I don't think it will be more than a few weeks away."

"Who cares Becky, it won't matter when I'm back."

He hugged her like she had _saved_ his life and she did the same. They both wished that their older brother was around more, they never saw him much even before he was sent away. All they had were each other and that was enough.

He was going to go home and see everyone he _already_ terribly misses. This news couldn't have come any sooner.

* * *

"So you are _actually_ going to go home?"

"I hope so. It seemed like she knew what she was talking about."

TJ and Stuart were on cleaning duty that night and the piles of dishes were _filthy_ and never ending. They were becoming good friends, partly due to both being good listeners and also the fact that they have to spend so much time together, like _now_.

"It will be good once you do... go home. This place can really wear you down." Stuart had been here too long in his mind.

"You'll be out of here in no time. The worse case is you wait a year and a bit. You'll be good then."

"That's probably going to be my only way out, or one of. I doubt I'll get adopted out. Who wants a 16 year old boy, a parents worse nightmare?"

TJ found that the moods around him always carry a false exterior that satisfies the _illusion_ that everyone is happy and enjoying life where they are. Remove that facade and you are left with lonely and depressed boys that want nothing more than a family, a _home_. Any sense of belonging to something more than themselves. If it wasn't for the bonds they had between each other, they would have lost it already.

"Don't give up Stu. You are one of the best people I've met and I still hardly know you. You'll get everything you want and it wouldn't surprise me if you do get a family that wants you and we can both hang out all the time. I promise."

That's a promise he definitely keeps. It's the path that gets there that is uncertain to him. He trusts that Becky can get him out of this so things can be _normal_ again.

Or as normal as they could be.


	7. Chapter 4:Home

**Hey everyone, how ya going?**

 **We're back again and ready to go with the next chapter and I'm going to say sorry now that next chapter is going to take a little longer for me to make as I'm going away for about a week. I'll try and sneak a bit of time for writing but it will be longer so sorry.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews and to those who have followed and/or favourited. As for TJ and Spinelli, I won't make things too obvious as to what happens because everyone likes not knowing, adds to the tension, and I like keeping the story going in different directions so the next thing might be good or bad.**

 **Thanks for ready again and catch ya next time.**

* * *

There was a coldness placed against his lips in an effort to numb the pain that was growing there. TJ's bottom lip was split so he was now using a bag of frozen peas, _kindly_ donated by the home, to help the swelling.

"Ahh, that hurts."

"Just hold it there and don't sook about it." Advice from Dr Stuart.

The boys were all with him in their room trying to help with the aftermath of _whatever_ happened. Realistically it could only be due to one thing, those older kids from a week ago. This time, due to being in the right place at the wrong time, TJ caught them looking through his stuff while everyone was supposed to be at lunch.

Staying true to himself, he tried to talk through the problem but his mouth was getting the better of him lately, and the older boys also have little respect for _anyone_ it seems. He didn't stand a chance against them and in the couple of minutes when he was alone in the fight, it was a losing battle. His roommates came to his aid quickly enough before any _major_ damage was received but some of his things were thrown about; clothes, pictures and other personal things.

"I'm not. I was only saying that it hurt a bit." TJ received laughs from the others as he pouted over his lip.

"What a little baby." Teased Oliver.

"We should get them back. Teach them a lesson before they leave this place." Isaac was always looking for trouble and often found it, even when he _wasn't_ looking.

"Laxatives. We can put it in their food and they'll be out all day guaranteed." TJ loves his ability to think of something on the spot that he knows they can pull off.

"How are we even going to get it in their food?" Kai had been getting less enthusiastic about things lately. Before, he would have jumped at the _chance_ just to be involved.

"We need to distract them from their table and sneak it in."

"Smoke bomb? I know how to make them." Oliver possessed some interesting skills. "I'll throw them in their room. All I need are some of the ping pong balls from the rec room and aluminium foil."

"Do it." Isaac had assumed the leadership role. "I'll handle sneaking it in their food."

"Then it's settled. We can get what we need today and be ready for tomorrow." TJ agreed.

* * *

A couple of days later was the first day in court. The judge would hear the case, presented by Becky, and would _hopefully_ grant her legal guardianship of TJ and he would get to go home.

Thankfully he was allowed by the headmaster to go out to the court today as he was meant to be carrying out his punishment of chores, after the laxative plan didn't _quite_ work out how it was supposed to. The smoke bomb had worked and it left the target food wide open, but it also attracted the kitchen staff and most other people to investigate the commotion.

Isaac wasn't there when he was supposed to carry out his role and everyone soon came back and carried on as normal, that is until Isaac came back and sat with the others. He had let the plan _fail_ and the older kids knew who smoke bombed them, they'd have to. It was all for nothing.

"Don't eat the food today." Isaac told them all at their table.

"What did you do?" Stuart demanded.

"What happened to the _plan_." TJ's life revolved around his plans and it hurt him that this one failed. They never fail, that often.

Isaac smirked. "Don't eat _any_ of the food today. Trust me."

"You didn't." Oliver was laughing historically.

Everyone had got sick that day, except them. It left nearly the _whole_ home fighting for the limited toilets so the punishment was all theirs for a week straight, with the exception of today for TJ.

He had dressed his best for this occasion, the best he could with what he had brought to the home. Becky had brought him a white button up to wear so that he suited the court setting at least somewhat. He had to look a _little_ presentable.

Just seeing his sister made his eyes water slightly and today she was clearly well researched with what _had_ to happen if she wanted to bring TJ home. She had gone through so much effort for him and he could tell. The more he paid attention to her, the more hopeful he became.

The court session passed slowly as they explored different _problems_ that might arise with TJ in her care. TJ could understand what was being said overall but the legal jargon was wearing him down. They use big words simply to sound smarter than they are when they can easily use much more common equivalents.

Things that TJ particularly paid attention to was, besides the look on the judge's face, was the small audience that attended today, people waiting for their turn with the judge, a lady who he later learnt to be Tina and his old friends in the front row, all five of them.

The end result was _not_ what they were after but still a positive one. They were to assign Tina, a social worker, to assess the credibility of Becky's ability to care for TJ and report back in two weeks, where the judge will make his _final_ decision.

As an added bonus he was allowed to spend the rest of the day with Becky and his friends. No matter what happens, this will always be better than the chores waiting for him back at home. _The_ home, not _his_ home. The thought of knowing he has to go back still sits wrong in him, has from the first day, but he won't let that get to him today, especially not with Tina accompanying them on their day out.

* * *

Everyone had agreed to get lunch together at Kelso's, for old times sake, and then go back to 'TJ's house' for the rest of the day. Everyone was excited that they were all back together but something was missing from Spinelli.

She was _there_ and acted as happy as the others were but there was a look in her eye, or more rather a _lack_ _of_. The occasional touch or bump or witty remark that was normal between them were all absent for the whole night and TJ missed it so much more than he thought he would have. At the least she was still happy he was back, even if it was only temporary.

"What is it like in there? Is it just how the big screen camera encapsulates it?" Mikey was curious, sometimes too much for others to handle.

"It's just a big house Mikey. Think of it like the places you go to for a school camp."

In all honesty, TJ really didn't want to spend today talking about it but it was reasonable for them to want to know, just like how he wanted to know what _they_ were doing. It was all a big catch up on both parts.

By the time they were all having dinner together it dawned on him just how much can happen in just over a week. He really is lucky to have people who care for him so much and try to help him get home so quickly. Stuff like _this_ doesn't even happen in the movies.

Becky was talking with Tina downstairs about how things are going to work out now while the gang were up in TJ's room. TJ was laying in his bed and Vince was sitting on the end of it, Gretchen was at the desk chair while Gus and Mikey were currently on the floor. These were everyone's normal spots in his room.

Spinelli was _not_ in her normal spot, laying next to TJ, and was instead sitting on the corner of the desk by Gretchen. Everyone picked up on this, not so subtle, subtlety and decided that if they don't know _why_ she's doing it then they'll let it be for now. Ultimately, TJ knows why.

"Okay man, so we gotta know. What happened to your lip? It's all scabbed up and still bruised."

"It's not that bad Vince. You should have seen the black eye when I first got there."

TJ found the thought slightly funny but changed his mind at the expressions he discovered on their faces.

"I'm kidding guys. It was just some jerk. Picture a more physical Lawson."

"I do not believe physical violence is _ever_ the answer, however, I do trust your judgement TJ." It's good to know Gretchen is on his side, she's reasonable.

The others also nodded slightly to show their agreement and TJ thanked them for it. It was nice to know his friends were always there for him. The moment he comes back for good he is going to be the best type of guy they've ever seen. Not _too_ lazy and not too full on, just perfectly average, _normal_ TJ, in the best way he could imagine.

It was about time that TJ had to head back to the home, and his friends had to leave also. Saying _goodbye_ was hard, even harder than watching them walk down the stairs to the door. Bro hugs, and real hugs, were exchanged and promises of 'I'll see you later' were made. He had to get ready to spend the next couple of weeks away at the minimum, maximum still being till he's 18.

"Spin, wait."

She was _last_ to leave, at least that was normal, and TJ's call was almost a whisper.

"What?"

"I'm sorry about how I said goodbye. I just want you to know."

Spinelli sighed. "I don't care anymore TJ. It was a while ago now."

"I know you do. I just thought… I was thinking and I… I'm sorry."

She can't lie to him, _never_ has been able to. When they were younger he still knew what she was thinking at any moment, just never called her out on it. Madame Fist was ever present and he wasn't looking to aggravate her back then, now was different. She wouldn't hurt him, and he wouldn't hurt her, not on purpose, like he _did_ over a week ago.

"Yeah well, me too. See you next time."

* * *

The trip back was rough on him. It was the exact same feeling as last time just a little less intense. He stayed quiet, using the least amount of words that he could get away with, during the whole car ride and for the rest of the night. He felt bad about his silence and how it would have looked to the boys in his room and _especially_ to Becky.

He had a nightmare, _again_ , that night. It's always the same one. He's in a plane and he's with everyone who he'd want to be with, friends and family, then they're _gone_ and he's alone in his plane seat. The sudden turbulence hits and the plane drops so fast he can almost taste whatever was in his stomach coming up to his throat. As it falls he can see the plane as if he's on the outside looking at it, knowing he's still in there, and feels as if he's controlling it and he's _driving_ _it_ down himself, straight towards his friends now on the ground.

He jumps awake, as usual, in the middle of the night. He's never screaming so he never wakes up anyone else but he's body is in a panic. He always wakes up just before he hits his friends, never knowing how it ends or if they're _safe_.

Stuart definitely knows about the dreams, his bed is right next to TJ's so he hears the sudden movements due to his light sleeping. He's certain the others have noticed them as well, they'd have to after this long in a room together, but they don't say nothing about it and it's appreciated. Nights are the hardest on TJ, left alone with the memories of everyone he _has_ and everyone he _has_ _lost_ , especially those he has lost.

The next several days went without any incident, which is great, and that probably means the older kids were planning something. Unless they thought their chores were a bad enough form of punishment, that's doubtable though.

TJ had been unconsciously keeping his bag packed and ready for a quick getaway and it coincided with the way he acted, he _believed_ he would be leaving. This brought the mood of the others down. It wasn't that they were sad that someone was getting out while they were still _stuck_ there, even if they were, it was that they have seen this enough times to know it rarely works out. Everyone _believes_ it at first.

"You got to have a backup plan in case they don't let you go. I don't want to sound like an asshole but it's happened before." Stuart always gave a realistic perspective, like a cool guy version of Gretchen.

"Plan B is staying here. I won't be disappointed if it doesn't work alright. I just got a good feeling about it."

"Everyone _had_ a good feeling. Ask Kai about it, he still gets it somehow."

"Gets what?" TJ's interest peaked at learning about one of the others that he talked to all day and slept with at night.

"Happy about leaving. He's been in here since he was six and still has scars from his dad. Even after all these years and all he went through, he's still so excitable and whenever a possible family comes in he clings to them like a puppy, the _idea_ of going with them. Every time."

"This is different though. It's my sister, they'll have to give her some credit because I've known her all my life. I don't know about you but I _know_ that she'll try for me."

"Look, I'm not trying to burst your bubble, just don't want you to be let down too much just in case. We all know how it works."

"Thanks for helping me out."

TJ was thankful but he did not want to hear the possibilities of _failure_ right now. He knows fully well that it could all go wrong but his plans almost always work, he's a lucky kid. Well, he _was_ lucky before everything happened, so that luck can definitely come back.

* * *

The judge had made his decision, TJ _was_ going home. He was so happy, Becky was ecstatic, the gang were relieved and the boys he had grown close to for the last three to four weeks were sad to see him go, not that TJ could identify their facial features at the moment.

They all wanted to celebrate TJ's _last_ _night_ and the result left TJ very dizzy and the room was constantly spinning all around him. There were empty cans and bottles littered all over their room and the smell of alcohol lingered on all of them. TJ _deserved_ to go home, most of them did also, and they were glad that he got what he wanted.

"I ahh… I'm gonna miss you all. Don't think I won't cause I will." TJ slurred.

"You better come and visit. I don't want to be treated like a one night stand." The voice came from the corner, Oliver sitting down with his drink.

"He will, for sure." Isaac reassured him.

"I cross my heart. I know how to sneak in so you know I'll be back for you guys."

In truth TJ couldn't wait to get as far from this place and get back home as quick as he could. Fighting against this urge, these 5 guys became close to him really quickly despite how different they all are. It may be from the time spent together or their similar positions in life that helped form the bond they now have, or perhaps a combination of both.

Stuart walked over to him and gave him the best guy-hug he could muster, without it looking _too_ feminine, to give him his final goodbyes.

"You're a good guy TJ, I'll miss ya round here. In the nicest way possible though, don't come back. Not meaning don't visit just… don't come back to stay." If TJ couldn't see him he wouldn't have thought that Stuart would ever get emotional like he was now.

"This won't be the last time we see each other and you know that. When you get out I'll visit all the time."

TJ was glad the others were too preoccupied with their own things right now, how they even managed to _get_ the drinks he didn't know, but it didn't surprise him anymore. They kind of reminded him of Skeens and his group of friends. Anyways, with them not listening to the current conversation they wouldn't hear TJ playing favourites among them, though they already knew that those two were better friends than the rest of them. It was obvious.

Stuart laughed. "Yeah, that will be good."

"No! You know what, I'm _not_ replacing anymore people. TJ you are the coolest cat to join us so far and I ain't letting no one steal _your_ bed. You got my word."

What? Matthew just spoke more than a few words. Everyone was thrown off by this and it only added to the good time, the _last_ one TJ would have with them during his stay here.

It's a busy day tomorrow and TJ was going to be sick, he knew it.

* * *

"Finally, back where you belong." Becky had TJ under her arm and was determined to never let him go like _that_ again.

He didn't think much in the terms of what he was going to do first. He was way more concerned on the thoughts that he was going to sleep in his _own_ bed, wear all of _his_ clothes, eat at _his_ table and go to _his_ school. It was the small and trivial things that he had grown to miss in such a short time. He really had got lucky with this, he _could_ have been away for years.

It was walking through the door that had finally broke him. His parents _still_ weren't there, like they were going to be waiting for him. Everything was fixed but still so broken. It was the one thing he was grateful for when he was away, it was as if _he_ was away from his parents and not that _they_ had left him. It was a welcomed distraction that even helped when he spent the day at home after the first day in court.

The lump in his throat built and all of the pain had suddenly returned to him after suppressing it for so long, the nightmares didn't count as they were a staple in his life now.

"TJ, are you alright?"

He nodded. The first lie since he has been back. He was _not_ ok and his eyes were becoming glassy. He didn't want to look at her, knowing that he would lose his composure if she pressed this any further.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to lie down for a bit. It's been a long couple of weeks, you know?"

"I understand. You get some rest and I'll see you when you get up."

He hugged her, not even remotely close to being able to say thank you for everything, and went up to his old room. Nothing had changed, it was still as empty as the day he left. Usually his _mum_ would always clean it when he went away and he would struggle for days trying to find where she had moved his stuff. Now, everything was still in its spot. It was a bittersweet thought.

* * *

After a while of trying, and mostly failing, to keep his emotions in check he heard someone at the front door, no doubt here for him. He quickly went to the bathroom to throw some water over his face in an attempt to look fine and happy while Becky would be letting whoever it was in.

"Hey Teej, welcome back!"

"Greetings TJ."

"Oh TJ we have missed you greatly."

"Hey you guys. Good to be be back, but you didn't have to bring a cake."

It was time to celebrate with his friends and now it would be completely opposite from the times he saw them in court or when they would visit him in the home. He was here to _stay_ and they could be together for as long as they'd like right now.

"Well what are ya waiting for? Let's dig in already, I'm starving." Spinelli was ready to start the party.

This was one of the happiest moments in his life and it took a toll on him after a couple of hours. After his night with the boys and the stress of moving back home, he was exhausted. Add this in with the emotional state he was in _before_ they had arrived, he was in no position to have a big day today. He wouldn't tell them to leave though, not now.

He felt guilty for even having the _thought_ of sending them away but he could feel his bones yearning for a time out. He was slowing down and the occasional yawn would slip out, hopefully unnoticed. He was not at peace with himself, mentally, and he needed the time that he now has to sort himself out. He never had the proper time to mourn and grieve before he was taken away. Not even the small funeral gave him the closure he desperately needs.

Spinelli noticed how TJ was acting.

"Hey guys, I think I'm gonna head home, it's been a big day and I'm sure we all need a rest day."

Relief washed over TJ at the thought of him being able to lie down on the couch and do nothing at all. He didn't want to be alone and he wanted them to stay, he simply didn't want to have to act happy around them so that they didn't _think_ he was struggling.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna get some rest and finish unpacking. You want to all hang out tomorrow?" TJ wanted them to be just like they were before, and they definitely wanted that for themselves also.

"We'll see tomorrow. It should be good." Spinelli still sounded distant from him, but it was like she refused to leave him completely.

"Sounds like a plan, dude."

"I'll tell my dad and try get out of my morning training."

Tomorrow should be better than today, he'll be well rested.

* * *

Later that night, TJ had called the home to speak to everyone and fill them in on how readjusting back home was going. He explained how everyone came to see him and that _their_ partying made him tired all day, and sick in the morning. The one message he took from their phone call was not to waste it, the chance he was given. He was extremely grateful that he was able to come home so quick and he _shouldn't_ dwell on the past.

As bad as the past might be, there was one thing that he could work on and it was on the top of his to-do list right now. He had left in a way that he knew he shouldn't have and ever since she left earlier today he _couldn't_ get the coldness in her voice out of his head, 'we'll see' she said.

"TJ I'm so glad you're back, we were planning on walking around tomorrow so you could have time to settle in properly."

"Welcome home, son."

"Thanks Mr. And Mrs. Spinelli, do you mind if…"

"She's upstairs sweety, you don't have to ask."

"Thank you."

He treaded lightly up the stairs to her room, fear of being seen earlier than he plans to. He hadn't thought this through. He has _no_ _clue_ as to what he is going to say to her. He can't just go in and tackle the issue straight up, he needs to be subtle. But how?

"Guess who?" Yet again in her doorway.

This time she was slightly startled, fully immersed in whatever was on her phone. "TJ? What are you doing here? It better not be anymore bad news."

"No no no, it's nothing bad. I thought that umm… now that I'm back you know…" He had to think of _something_ to say. "I figured I'd grab the monkey back now, since I'm home."

What a dumb thing to say, real smooth. He never stumbles his words. He is _meant_ to know the right thing to say at _all_ moments. He was _meant_ to plan out everything down to the fine line. Maybe he needs to _not_ listen to his head right now and go with his guts.

"Okay then… I'll get it for you."

She turned around and found it instantly. When she turned around she wasn't met with his open hands, waiting for the monkey, but instead found his lips on hers.

It was quick but amazing and TJ couldn't believe he hadn't done it sooner. She was _perfect_ to him and this moment only solidified that thought in his brain. When he opened his eyes to look at her, his whole mood dropped at the sight in front of him.

This was not how he pictured it.


	8. Chapter 15: Final year

**Hey guys, thanks for being patient with me being away but I'm back again.**

 **I know I say it heaps but thanks to everyone who keeps showing an interest in this story and to everyone who's reviewing, you do help me with what I write. The things that you guys seem to like are the parts that I put more focus into, even if it wasn't in my original plan. That's not saying that the main story is gonna change, just parts of it.**

 **Hopefully these 12 pages satisfy you all and hope you enjoy it.**

 **Catch ya's**

* * *

You always see it in the movies, the pinnacle of school, top of the social hierarchy, senior year.

For some reason it all seemed like a giant facade because this was looking to be one stressful year. Each class had consisted of learning what the outline was going to be and what the expectations are from _them_ as students. For the year that is supposed to determine the rest of their life, or something else as dramatic, it was a huge workload and the stress and paranoia could be felt across the room like you were walking through spiderwebs.

On a positive note, the first day was over and TJ had all night to himself until the _actual_ learning was going to start and he tried to pretend that he was better than the C grade student that he was. In his defence though, he was managing to get into the B range every so often. Maybe this year _could_ be kind to him.

His plans for the night were spending time with the gang, as he'd been doing more often lately. The lingering Summer heat had carried on into September enough to warrant a pool day and Mikey's parents had built one in their backyard a couple of months ago. It was perfect.

The last class was nearly over, history, and the clock had never moved slower in the history of everything.

"Oh man, it's so hot in here."

Gus was only complaining about the heat because he knew he had a nice cool pool to get too. In truth it wasn't _that_ hot in the room and he was psyching himself into feeling hotter, a skill he often used the other way round, to feel cooler in the heat. Both Gus and Mikey were in history class but Mikey managed to be in the second history class, so it was just him and Gus in this one.

"Five more minutes and we'll be out. Don't _sweat_ it." TJ laughed at his choice of words.

"I can't take it anymore. I just can't take it I tell ya."

Sometimes TJ believed that Gus should have joined Mikey in drama because he seemed to possess a natural talent. That can be his fallback from the military, maybe.

After a minute, Gus continued. "So, you going to The Ashley's party this weekend?"

"Of course I'm going Gus. _Everyone_ who's _everyone_ is going. Are you gonna be partying hard with me?"

"I don't know TJ. My dad's making me do a drill the next morning at 0600 so I won't even be staying there that late. And besides, I got no way of getting drinks anyway."

"Well it's all about who you know but don't worry about it. It's gonna be fun no matter what."

"You mean your friends from the home."

"Yeah." TJ nodded slowly. "They have a knack for getting things that you _think_ they can't get."

Just then the bell went off and signalled for the end of the day. A group sigh of relief seemed to be emitted from every classroom as all the students made their way to their lockers. The gang were going to meet up at Mikey's in half an hour once they all went home to get something to swim in and some normal clothes to get out of their uniform.

* * *

"Finally. What took you two so long to get here?"

It was a good question. TJ and Spinelli were both last to arrive at Mikey's house and it was thought that if they weren't on happy terms with each other, which they _weren't_ , they would have walked quicker to avoid the time alone. Come to think of it, at least they were walking together and not by themselves. It's a start and it was Spinelli's last and _only_ option choice. Her damned car was constantly breaking down but her parents, who obviously had money from secret government work, refused to help. They say it builds character.

It was the perfect day for a swim in the pool. The sun was high and there were hardly any clouds in the sky to block the beautiful blue from shining on them and they couldn't be more grateful for the weather they had been given.

"Last one in has to give Finster a foot massage." Vince yelled out before diving into the pool.

The rest followed suit to avoid even the thought of Miss Finster's feet. It was the best thing Vince could think to say to get everyone into a fun mood that not even Mikey's tidal wave, that he caused when he jumped in, could remove the laughter from the air.

TJ couldn't help himself, he _had_ to look at her in that dark bikini hugging her curves. The forbidden fruit. The one person who hated him more than _anyone_ else, Spinelli. It was probably for the best that TJ tried to distract himself from these thoughts and focus on just spending the day like normal.

"Piggy back wars, let's go." Vince was always searching for a competition.

"You are _so_ on. Give me a boost Gus." Spinelli clambered on the cadet's broad shoulders.

"I believe that if we can achieve a low centre of balance then we… Whoa."

"Relax Gretch." Vince calmed her down after swimming under her legs and lifting her into the air. "We got this one in the bag."

TJ and Mikey were left. "Come on big guy. Let's show them how to really win."

Just as everyone expected, it was Gus and Spinelli that had won. Between Gus' stamina and Spinelli's brute force they had become the ultimate team. Mikey was big but in the teddy bear sense while Gretchen stood no chance when it came to pushing someone around even when they were in the pool.

Things were calming down now and the gang had spread out more around the house. They were like ants searching for something to occupy themselves with. Vince and Spinelli were still splashing in the pool, Gus and Mikey were inside getting drinks for everyone and TJ was sitting with Gretchen at the backyard table.

"So TJ, how has the back been progressing? I'd imagine well, due to the usual prognosis of your condition."

"It's all back to normal now. It was that stupid brace I couldn't handle."

"Well at least we can put all of that behind us now."

Deep down, Gretchen _really_ wanted to ask about the addiction and how he was handling it. It had been too long for him to want to actually _seek out_ the pain killers, but the brain never forgets things like what he went through.

"I can't agree more Gretch. On the plus side, I've really grown to like the scar, even if it's small."

The scar was near the bottom of his back and was the length of about an inch (2.5 cm). The vertical line was centred and ran along his spine. Unless you looked for it specifically most people seemed to look over it, not that he often walked around with his shirt off like he was now.

It felt good for TJ to be able to talk about it now that it was over with. It gave him the feeling that he has bettered himself, like he wanted to, and is moving forward with his life. In the _perfect_ world he wouldn't have had anything to have to get over and move on from, but this is how it is now.

When it got later in the evening everyone decided to go home so they can have their dinner at a suitable time. Luckily for TJ, he had managed to get a lift home. Through Mrs. Spinelli's insisting he just _couldn't_ refuse her offer, but the tension in the car still remained while Mrs. Spinelli tried to make small talk.

"Well, here we are TJ. You have a good night and tell your sister I said hi."

"Sure will Mrs. Spinelli."

TJ thought he might take his chance and talk to his 'best friend' before he left.

"You going to The Ashley's thing this weekend?"

She appeared deep in thought and scrunched her nose in response. After a few small seconds she opted in giving him a look and a forced smirk. Not a friendly one like he wanted. It was better than the _nothing_ he had been getting used to.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

TJ couldn't decide if she was playing nice because she came to that conclusion with her own thoughts _or_ because her mum was sitting right beside her.

"Sweet. I'll uh… see you at school."

TJ got out of the car and headed inside to see what state his dinner was in so he could help out or, if need be, make a start on it.

* * *

"You are the laziest kid I think I've ever met."

"No I'm not. I just _hate_ climbing up onto the roof."

TJ had dropped into the home to see his ex roommates and pick up the alcohol they got for him, somehow. Becky would never get any for him after her reaction the first time he had ever asked her, so it was best _not_ to try again. He thought they would have met him at the skatepark but _they_ couldn't be bothered, and they called him lazy.

The Ashley's party was tonight and he was going to be meeting up with Vince in an hour so they can chill before they go there together. TJ always hated going straight to an event and would often find someone to hang out with before hand. He has never taken well to being on his own and constantly wanted _anyone_ , even Randal, to be with.

The _plan_ was to leave the home in half an hour so that he can go home and get his stuff ready before meeting up with Vince. The boys had never been one to sticking to his plans. They had got more drinks than TJ asked for so that they can have a party of their own, since TJ gets to have it's the only fair option. They each had a couple of drinks each before the realisation that TJ was running a bit late had finally set in.

"Crap, is that the time? I'm not going to have time to go home first now."

"Suck a fat one." Kai laughed at him.

"Well before you go, take this. It will make your night fun."

TJ turned to face Oliver and the little piece of paper, no bigger than a fingernail. Even drinking alcohol made TJ feel guilty to some extent, but the fact that everyone drank it eased his nerves. He was _not_ , however, going to be part of this. If he accepted _this_ now then who knows what else he would say yes to later tonight. The risk was too high.

"Nah, you have fun with that. I got to go."

"Alright then. Remember to say hello to that faggot Stuart for us." Isaac waved at him. "As if he didn't come tonight."

TJ laughed and told them he would. He made his way out the window, across the roof and down the fence, like so many times before. He never thought he'd be doing it to sneak _in_ though, he sometimes wished he never tried to in the first place.

* * *

Ransacking through his memory, this might be the first time in a long time that Vince wasn't practising his shots in the front yard when TJ arrived. What he did find was that Vince had the _whole_ house to himself after his parents had gone out for dinner. That meant loud music and sitting out in the living room, not hidden in Vince's room with their drinks.

Speaking of which, Vince noticed that TJ may have already started without him after TJ started feeling the effects already, way sooner than he should have.

"Dude! Did you _honestly_ start without me. Day drinking should be done with me."

"I didn't plan to. I went to pick them up from the guys and they wanted to have a couple before I came to yours."

"Well you better not disappear halfway through the night. We haven't had a good party in a while."

"That's true."

The sad truth was that they hadn't been to a good party together in a while because they hadn't been out together at all during their 'not talking to each other' stage. Before that, they were too concerned about TJ to really _want_ to go out to a party environment. Besides, he never wanted to go out much back then anyway, too many people around.

Keeping on that topic, there were too many people going to The Ashley's tonight for TJ's liking. He kinda hated having fun. Not because he didn't like the _people_ he would be around but because he didn't want to have fun without his parents. It sounds pretty dumb to him that he thinks that way, but he _still_ can't help it. He's not emotionally stable yet with everything that happened so whenever he gets a glimpse of enjoyment he curses himself for it. The guilt flows through his veins to bring him back to reality, despite there _nothing_ to be guilty of.

"By the way Vince, I need to stop in at home before we go. I forgot to go before I came here."

Vince sighed. "You couldn't have said something before. Now we're gonna be late."

"It will only take five minutes, tops."

"Fine, lets go now then."

* * *

After _finally_ making it to the mansion that Ashley A called a home, TJ and Vince stopped in the front yard to take it all in, like they did every time when a party was here. The music could be heard at least five houses down and the mixture of the different colour lights that came from all the many windows of the house only added to the feel of complete chaos that was going to be inside.

The five minutes TJ _said_ he would take at home only included him being in his house, not the walk there or to Ashley A's party or even the time it took for Vince to get ready. The party had probably been going for an hour already but no one would have been there for at least the first half hour, meaning they were arriving with the majority of people.

Most house parties you would think you'd wait until someone let you in or said it was fine to walk straight through the door, but right now _that_ person would never come. The two boys walked through the front door, TJ already a bit uneasy on his feet, to see if they could find anyone they knew. Straight ahead of the door was a giant staircase and the entrance into the other rooms were giant archways. The openness of the house was crazy good for hosting people but her parents must be either crazy, unaware or under _complete_ control from their daughter to let such a huge party happen in their house.

It turns out that _maybe_ they were a little late as everyone was already there. They made their way through the crowd, saying their hellos, and found the Gretchen and Mikey at the back of the main room. They decided that they can see what they have been up to, and what the rest of the people had been doing, while they weren't there.

"Some party don't you think?" All the others could see TJ's lips moving with no audible sound.

The music drowned out _any_ other noises in the room so they went to move into the kitchen, through the next door, where the music wasn't as loud as it was where they were.

"What have you guys been up to?" TJ tried again.

"I still maintain my position on these large social events, utter claustrophobic inducing madness."

"Chill Gretch." Vince rested his arm on her shoulder. "It's all a bit of fun."

"My, TJ? You don't look so well."

"Don't know what you're talking about Mikey."

In the background Vince was giving them a hand signal to show that TJ had been drinking a bit too much. TJ decided that he wanted to have a look around a bit _before_ he starts getting into the party properly.

"I'm just gonna go get a drink. I'll come find you guys in a bit."

With that TJ left and, almost instantly, Spinelli showed up. It was almost as if he left when he saw her coming, or she walked up after he left.

"Where's he off to?" She asked the other three.

* * *

After a while off walking around, TJ quickly became bored and began drinking more, something that he would determine in the morning to be a mistake. He came across a few people he used to go to elementary school with, and others that now go to his high school. _Most_ people were friendly but then he found Lawson. He was severely out of his mind and his temper has never been on a short leash for all the years TJ had known him. TJ made a note to avoid him through the rest of the night.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Ashley A was, TJ swore on it, flirting with him like crazy. 'Hiiii Tj', 'you must work out' or 'let's go find somewhere private' were all things she was whispering in his ear all night. He must have increased his rating to them from his old score of five because she wanted him bad right now. Of course, she has upgraded her standards to anything with a heart beat so who really knows _what_ she wants from him, besides one thing.

After finally escaping Ashley A, with a promise that he'd come back, TJ found Gus and Spinelli out in the backyard at the other end to where the pool was. They seemed to be in deep conversation and _normally_ he would approach them already knowing what to say. This time though, he didn't even realise that they _may_ have been having a private talk at all.

"Hey guys, what's up?" His voice was slurred together into one mumble.

"Nothing much." Gus seemed a little down on himself.

"What's wrong?"

"He said nothing." Spinelli was now taking control of this talk. "I don't know why you like meddling with people's lives."

Gus immediately wanted to diffuse the growing situation. An angry Spin and a drunk TJ was a sure fire argument in the making.

"It's just Lawson being an ass. It's nothing new."

TJ understood, since he himself was stuck with Lawson before. What he _wasn't_ fine with was the look on Spinelli. He wanted to say something to her but was cut off by her next question.

"Why don't you go find someone else to bug now?"

It was a question but not one he dared to answer. He was supposed to just do what she wants and in his mind, even in his state, he knew he _should_ follow instructions. Sometimes a fight simply isn't worth the hassle.

"You look really good tonight."

TJ kept his head down so that he wouldn't see her reaction, or even Gus', and walked back into the house. It wasn't a lie though, she looked good to him no matter what but tonight she had put in an effort and it definitely had him drooling over her. He wouldn't tell her _that_ much in front of her right now though.

Mikey was sitting down in front of TJ when he entered the back door and thought he could sit with him for a bit.

"Woah, TJ you scared me for a second."

TJ thought he was just sitting down but had hit the couch _much_ quicker and harder than he anticipated. Mikey was in his own little bubble and TJ had, quite literally, appeared out of thin air to him.

"Didn't mean to, sorry." TJ honestly did feel bad for startling the giant.

"No harm, no foul. How are you my friend?"

"Good Mikey, good. Where's everyone else?"

"They are all around somewhere. You know, it always surprises when Vince dances. He has the spirit for it but the poor guy simply has _no_ grace on his feet."

TJ laughed at the thought of his friend dancing somewhere in the house. "That's Vince."

"Like, TJ, there you are."

The devil's advocate had found him. Ashley Armbruster. You'd think that she would have _something_ to be doing right now, like maybe keeping her party from destroying her home or raging out of control. The way it was going it wouldn't be a surprise if it happened at any second.

"Ashley, hey." TJ's voice seethed with annoyance and unease. "Where are the other Ashley's?"

"Don't worry about them cause they are, like, doing there own thing. We can totally do whatever we want."

TJ's eyes were begging with Mikey for any assistance that he could offer. Instead, Mikey only _tried_ to suppress a laugh to show his support.

"That's great Ashley A. but I told Mikey that I'd hang with him for a while."

"But TJ." Ashley A's voice purred at him while she felt up his arm. "I'm sure he will manage for a little while."

You'd think that any guy would jump at this chance but something didn't sit right in TJ's stomach. He had too much to fix right now before he can start _anything_ like this again.

"You know what TJ?" Yes, Mikey was going to help. "You should go have _fun_. I'll find you later on. I think you can handle things on your own this time."

Wow.

At that moment there was a loud bang in another room. It sounded like the fragile peace had finally been dropped and a fight had broken out somewhere in this giant house.

TJ didn't really care about what was going on, he had seen, and been in, enough fights in the home, but he still got caught in the flow of the investigating crowd. While most people pushed him _towards_ the commotion he had struggled with Ashley A's pulling. According to her she needed someone strong to help her with whoever it was causing trouble.

That's when he saw him, them. Lawson once towered over Gus, but seeing them standing there face to face to each other showed how much Gus had grown. He was pre-military right now so TJ's money was on him all the way, _if_ he didn't know him as well as he did. Gus was one of the least violent guys he knew and he refused to fight back with most people, and took pride in that fact.

In an instant Lawson was pushed over, but _not_ by Gus.

"Back off Lawson!" TJ now stood between the two.

"I was wondering when you'd get here shitweiler. Now why don't you fuck off."

"Lawson, you have to, like, do what TJ says." The host had given TJ the power, not that it's going to help.

"I'll do what I want." Lawson pushed back at TJ, now that he's on his feet.

"Enough Lawson." TJ didn't want to push this any further. He knew how long it took to heal from punches now and he _hated_ the feel that ice packs had on his lip.

As if TJ's mind was read, Lawson threw the first punch and it connected well. They only fought for 30 seconds, at the most, but it was long enough for both to get in some _good_ hits. When they were finally pulled away there was no clear winner or loser, just two beat up, angry teenage boys.

* * *

Ashley A. had let TJ use her room and ensuite to clean himself up. Gus was with him, after all it was him pulling TJ away from the fight. It _could_ have been worse but TJ still had a bruised cheek and could taste a bit of blood in his mouth.

"That was pretty dumb Teej."

"Yeah, I know Gus."

"Thanks for helping me out. It's good to know you have my back."

"I never meant to make you feel that you needed assurance on that."

"Well, the past is in the past."

"Psst, TJ?" A voice snaked in from the door.

"Hustler kid?" Both TJ and Gus looked at him, then each other.

"I thought you might want something to take off the edge. After ya fight, you know."

TJ froze at what he was saying. Would he have them _here_ , his pain killers? How many? How strong? His breathing was picking up fast and all of a sudden they were pulled out from HK's pocket. They were _all_ he could think about right now.

"No he doesn't. Now _get out_." Gus really saved him.

"Alright, alright. You know where to find me."

As he finally left the two to what they were doing, he passed Spinelli in the doorway, not without exchanging glances. Gus took this as a moment to leave, saying he needed to tell the others that everything is all fine.

Now they were _alone_. Just him and Spinelli, in Ashley A's room of all places.

"You just couldn't stay out of trouble could ya? You could have at least called me to join in."

She had a passion for slamming her fists into other objects, including people. It was wrong, for the most part, but it was just one of the many qualities that made her who she was. The fiery, artsy tomboy that _never_ took crap from anybody.

"Yeah well, I guess I _could_ have used some backup." TJ motioned to his face.

"In that case then, you may use this ice pack I found."

Looking at the ice pack in her hand, he wondered how she knew he needed one.

"I thought Ashley A. was getting one?"

"Well the far superior Ashley S. took it from her on the stairs." Sarcasm dripped from her words.

TJ laughed as he went to grab it from her. As he did he winced from the pain in his side. Before he could push through it, Spinelli had stood up and brought it to him, and placed it on his face herself.

TJ grabbed for the ice pack on his cheek, and conveniently trapped her hand in his.

"Spin…" He looked up her now, catching her eyes. "Tanks for helping me out."

After a short pause she had pulled her hand back and moved towards the door.

"Yeah well, you got hit. That's all. I'll see you later."

Watching her leave, he _really_ hoped he would see her soon. Left to lick his wounds, he decided that the party is over for him and it was time to walk home, maybe throw up in the toilet and sleep all day tomorrow, or as long as possible, if he could.

Yes, he was prepared for his seedy Sunday.


	9. Chapter 5: Human anchor

**First thing is first and I'm so sorry it took so long to get this one out.**

 **It seemed like everything happened at once but I won't bore you with all that. Time really did get away from me and it annoyed me so much since I was trying to be constant with this thing.**

 **To Guest who has been on my back, I'll have to say thanks for showing so much interest and that you can be sure I will be finishing this story one way or another. I don't want to leave it unfinished at all.**

 **Anyways, I think updates are going to be a fair bit more random from this point on. I'll be away for five weeks soon but I'll try to write then. Also I will be heading back to uni and the path to med school is tough.**

 **End of the day, I promise you _will_ see the end of this story.**

* * *

The silence was heavy in the room. Out of all the things TJ could have done, maybe he chose the wrong option.

"Spin I… I didn't mean to do that."

She was stunned. It took something big for her to stay quiet but when their lips touched it was like someone pressed the pause button on her body. Her mind was racing and working overtime. Does this mean that he like likes her?

"Please say something." TJ was worried. "We can just pretend this never happened if you want."

Normally TJ would know for sure that if she wanted to forget this then he would be heartbroken. This time, in all honesty, he didn't know what he wanted out of this. Where things would lead to was a great mystery to him in this moment.

"TJ, why did you just kiss me?"

"I don't know. I just felt bad about how I left and I want you to know that I didn't mean to make you sad. It's just that I have been feeling really bad…"

Something had stopped him dead in his tracks. Spinelli leaned over and kissed him, this one being a bit longer than the first. TJ thought the first kiss was the best thing he's felt but that second one made the first look like a walk in the park.

"Hey Teej?"

"Yeah." TJ sounded like he just awoke from the best dream in the world.

"How about we don't tell the others about this. I don't want them getting all nosy and annoying."

TJ felt a small twang in his chest. She didn't want anyone to know?

"And I don't want to rush whatever this is. I don't want this to ruin our friendship."

"No no, I get it. Let's just umm… go with it, I guess."

The kiss was meant to bring clarity to their relationship, decide what it is to become or not. This was not expected. Both TJ and Spinelli seemed loss when standing so close. They needed time to discover if they really wanted to move on and perhaps maybe they would learn to accept each other.

* * *

It wasn't long until the gang decided to meet up together again and spend some time together. It was definitely a relief for TJ as he has been feeling worse and worse lately, mentally that is. He would zone out occasionally and his enthusiasm was diminished to a time lower than when he was on the bottom on the monstickers pecking order.

He had believed that being home would have given him his life back but it was only now that he realised that being away had kept him away from his heartache. His desperation for another form of distraction is what TJ has been using to drive his need to go out and see other people, because then he could clear his mind.

It was Kelso's for lunch and the food was just as amazing as it always had been. The only thing missing was Kelso himself. He would no longer be present everyday of the week, despite his wife's nagging, and the gang sort of missed the old guy. He was a part of their tradition in visiting his shop.

The laughter was soothing to TJ. The sound of them grasping for air, particularly Mikey, between taking bites of his food. It all sounded so... alive and not… nothing.

"I'm just ahhh, going to the toilet. I'll be right back." TJ stood up abruptly from their table, the negative thoughts returning quickly.

Vince gave him a look. "Didn't you learn to go before you leave the house." Just like his mum used to say.

TJ really needed a break from them at the moment. "Oh ha ha Vince. I did but can't a guy go again."

Reaching the restroom, TJ locked the door behind him. It was a small room, typical to what you would find at a petrol station as opposed to a shopping centre or a larger businesses in general. It was a good place to take a moment and think.

Vince sounded exactly like his mum. Always checking up on him to make sure that he did the basic things that she knew that he did, but asked anyway. Maybe it was just her way of finding an excuse to talk to him. To get some form of contact with the teenage boy that was always out with his friends.

One time she had drove up all the way to their eighth grade camp, over 2 hours away, because he had clumsily fell and sprained his ankle. She heard on the phone that he had fallen and hurt his ankle and she didn't listen to anymore before she was in the car.

His dad always agreed with her too. That was his job though. To back her up in any and all situations. If he didn't want to eat his vegetables as a kid and she did, he would force him. If he wanted to go out when she was organising to have people over, he got him to stay. If he ran into a window and she thought he had a fever, he agreed.

All the small things that you overlook when someone is still around are the things that plague him now. Knowing that he will never experience any of those things again brought him the worse pain he has ever experienced.

Knock knock.

"Hey Teej, you good in there?"

That shook TJ out of his thoughts quicker that you could say 'tender'.

"Yeah Spin, I'm coming out now."

TJ splashed some water on his face and headed towards the door only to find her waiting for him on the other side.

"You alright?"

She looked sincere. Or at least as sincere as a person who said she wanted no one to know about them kissing, the best moment in his life.

"Yeah, it's just a toilet. I'm pretty sure I can handle any danger in there." He faked a laugh to show just how fine he was.

"Good, let's go then. We are all done eating anyways."

She grabbed his hand and held it. Not to drag him back to the others and not even to walk back with him. She grabbed it, soaked in the feel of it and then let go. He was left to follow her retreating form out of Kelso's and back onto the street.

Like nothing happened.

* * *

"I know, I know, I promise I'll come back and visit but it's hard to get out there."

TJ was once again on the phone explaining why he can't visit the skatepark. The relief that it gives him being so far from his troubles is well worth it but it is also what keeps him at home. He shouldn't be running from his problems and leaving Becky by herself after all the time he was already away.

"I have heaps going on right now that I need to get sorted and… no it's not like that. Look, you guys know I want to see you all, and I will, but I can't now."

They clearly had him on loudspeaker and the voices he was bombarded with were quickly overwhelming him. They all sounded either angry or disappointed about his absence and he really wished it was the former.

The voices were so quick and fast that TJ couldn't recognise the owner of the one particular sentence that stood out from the crowd.

"That's not true, I don't pick any friends over another one. I only see them so much because they are always here… I didn't mean to say you are stuck there… Listen to me!"

TJ's breath was all that could be heard from both ends. It really shouldn't have to be this hard to say that he can't see them. They represent his escape and it is all that he wants, to be in a perfect life.

"If you want me to be honest then all I can say is that I can't wait to come out and see you. The problem is that when I do I leave my sister here with all the work to herself. When I can come I will, trust me."

This type of self expectation that TJ is placing on himself can rid a child of their innocence, and it has. TJ doesn't not want to be outside but he feels that it isn't as important anymore, in comparison. It's like placing a mental rope around your neck and only allowing yourself to move so far away from your mental cage before it chokes you.

"Hey umm, I got to go. I'll call you guys later if I don't hear from you before then. Alright see ya."

Hanging up the phone, TJ looked out of his window to see who knocked on his door, assuming it was for him since Becky was out.

Keeping to his usual luck of people trying to keep him from doing what he plans to, Mikey was waiting for him patiently to answer the door. With a sigh TJ made his way to the door.

"Mikey, how's it hanging?"

"TJ, I'm glad you're home."

"What's up big guy?"

Hopefully there was nothing major going on. Becky would be home soon and TJ wanted things ready for her.

"I was just bored so thought I'd get out and about. Vince and Gus are trying to win some concert tickets in some trivia fundraising event for the children of less fortunate circumstances, Gretchen is in the lab again working for a better future and Spinelli is a wild spirit never to be tamed by someone who is simply bored."

So he's checked in with everyone already, nice.

"I have to go out to the shops and get some supplies for dinner so…"

"Oh marvellous, what are we making?"

TJ took a wild guess and supposed he had just invited Mikey to go with him.

"Burgers are the plan, I just need some mince and other stuff that goes with it all."

"Let's go then."

* * *

Maybe bringing Mikey along wasn't such a bad idea in the end. TJ was ready to just roll some meat into a ball but Mikey apparently had secret methods with food, he does love the stuff.

"Are you sure they're going to taste good?"

"Don't worry young TJ, I do this all the time."

Mikey had the idea of mixing in a dry packet of chicken noodle soup flavouring into the meat for 'extra flavouring'. As quirky as Mikey was, it was one of the reasons TJ got along with him. They were both misunderstood in a way. Once people thought Mikey was a bully and now he gets called gay, when he has never been either.

TJ empathised with him after all the people that have judged him. Hero of third street and saving summer when really he was bored and lonely, the romantic man of women's dreams when he played a prank with valentines cards. Now he was the strong kid with no parents when deep down he was struggling to stay afloat.

"So what else have you been up to TJ?"

"Nothing really. I wish I could say I had been busy but all I've been doing is stuff to help out Becky."

"And I'm sure she appreciates it."

The small gesture of reassurance seemed to accomplishment it's purpose, he felt like there was maybe the possibility that things would work out. That there was hope for the future.

"Thanks Mikey, it means a lot to me. You staying for dinner?"

"I wish I could stay and enjoy the culinary creations we have conjured up but I must bid you farewell. I'll have to take a raincheck."

"You're welcome anytime."

Mikey left TJ with nothing but the prepared food and a smile on his face. It was nice to hang with his friend without anything bothering him and still get everything done. Mikey was just the type of person to help out others just for the sake of satisfying his want to help. A true friend that never intrudes on others personal lives.

* * *

The thing around about the world is that it will keep spinning, and the thing about people is that we invented time. Mix this with day to day life and it meant that school was always ready for a new day.

Kids are lucky in the sense that the majority of them live in their own bubble of the world. Their social life revolves around who they are forced to see everyday, roughly six hours spent locked up but with the biggest lunch break that they will get in their lives and financial support from their family.

TJ now fully understood just how well he had it now that he has lost some of what he considered to be a staple in his life. Participation awards were created to give the impression that everyone was special and that they will be rewarded for, essentially, nothing. How he was wrong to believe such a thing.

"Penny for your thoughts TJ?"

Gretchen was partnered with him for chemistry, she was saving him in this class.

"I think I need to leave school and get a job."

"And what made you come to this conclusion?"

"I'm not going to be mixing…" "Titrating." Gretchen added. "Right, 'titrating' chemicals for the rest of my life and I don't want Becky to have to work so much."

"That is mighty selfless of you TJ. Have you told her of your current opinion?"

"No."

He knew he'd have to but he also knew what she would say. She would somehow say that he has to stay in school and get a good job. Like he was going to get a good score in the end of it anyway.

"Then I believe that your next course of action if fairly obvious. You two will have to discuss and find a suitable compromise, since I'm assuming you haven't asked her from fear of objection."

"You hit the nail on the head yet again Gretchen."

Does she ever really need to ask. She looks at people like a science question and solves it before even thinking about just being social. Then again, her brain is way bigger than the average.

"Ok class it's time to start cleaning up before we finish because I am not being stuck with this mess again. Now get to it." The teacher's voice echoed throughout the room.

Five more minutes until study break and only a couple more hours until he can get home. It's probably best that he uses his time wisely this time and make a start of the English novel he was meant to have finished.

* * *

"Okay man, that's it. What is up with you?"

TJ snapped out of his daydreaming and turned his focus on Vince. It looked like he had been trying to get his attention for a while and he had clearly had no response until now.

"What's up with what?"

"Oh I think you know what. Spinelli."

"What!" This caught him off guard. "What about her?"

"Maybe the way you keep looking at her, like now through that window."

Had he really been staring at her? Taking a conscious look through the window, she was indeed outside with her camera, probably for her photography class.

"I wasn't looking at her. I was in my own head and was just staring at nothing."

'Yeah, nothing meaning staring at her."

"If you want some truth, I'll give it to you. I think there's too much going on right now to even try and even if there was nothing in the way I still think it won't work."

He was bending the truth just a little bit. He had already tried.

"Besides," he continued, "she doesn't seem like the type for anything official or public like that." That was the truth.

This was the most Vince has ever heard TJ talk about his blatantly obvious crush on Spinelli. This called for the jokes to be stopped and for the guys to be a bit more serious than usual.

"And why do you not want to even find out?"

"I just… I don't think I'm ready."

"Pease, you've been ready since fourth grade."

TJ was deep in thought. He wanted to tell Vince about it all and get a second opinion but Spinelli said that they should keep it a secret.

Taking a deep breath, TJ looked back towards his friend.

"When the time is right, I will."

* * *

"So how was school today?"

"It was good, I nearly started my English book today."

Shaking off that comment, Becky looked over her little brother sitting at the dinner table. Those burgers were a nice surprise the other day and it seemed like he wanted to help out more than he was. However, she was working so hard so that he wouldn't have to. So that he could just enjoy himself like he should be.

"You know what? As much as I appreciated dinner these past couple of nights, we should make it a bit more even."

"If you want it to be more fair then you gotta let me do more around the house."

"No, I meant I want you to go out with your friends more and enjoy yourself."

"I do that already."

Becky shook her head slightly at the stubbornness of TJ.

"I've noticed you home more often and don't lie. It's ok to still have fun."

"No, it's not."

TJ looked like he was on edge from this conversation and she had clearly hit a nerve.

Becky pondered on what the right thing to say was but the silence of her thoughts gave TJ the opportunity to continue.

"I need to be here to help you. There's no one else here and our 'so called' older brother left in an instant."

"He still has to carry out his tour."

"Yeah and that's bullshit."

Their friendly dinner conversation had quickly heated up until they now realised they were arguing, not conversing.

Not wanting to continue, TJ rose and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

Becky didn't want to leave such feelings left open like this, but it wasn't her choice to make.

"I'm going out. I need something to take my mind off of everything."

"Let's just figure this out now."

"I'll see you later tonight if you're up."

The door closed as TJ set off to find any suitable form of distraction to get rid of the emotional pain he was in. He would walk of the energy and then come back for a hot shower and a sleep.

Not a few seconds later he passed Spinelli's house, as usual for being neighbours. He wished things had ended differently that night but she has still been acting normal around him.

Breaking off his glance at the two story house, he kept walking.

Anywhere was a good place right now.


	10. Chapter 16: On my sleeve

**Well it's been a little while but so far on my trips around Asia I have found time to write and edit, since my travel parters sleep early. I've had this chap ready for a couple of days and I finally found some internet decent enough to stay connected for long enough to get this up.**

 **As always, enjoy amd get to writing a bit more for the next one.**

* * *

The house was peaceful, much like the rest of the neighbourhood at such an early time of the morning. The sound of the odd car passing by the street, the birds all searching for their breakfast and the alarm of TJ Detweiler piercing the ears of its owner.

What was _once_ a part of his morning routine, turning off the alarm, had become a serious chore. His body was aching all over from the fight he had with Lawson the other night. At least this morning he didn't have to deal with the hangover, _that_ was what he imagined hell to be like. He didn't even possess the energy this morning to fling his arm aimlessly at the thing and purely hoping he hits the right button.

Of course, _all_ things must come to an end. The alarm was silenced and made time for TJ to sleep away what little time he had left before he had to go to school. The thought that he _had_ to begin organising himself had little to no effect on him whatsoever. He slept in, rushed through cleaning himself up, forced down some food and set out for his morning walk, just like someone else had.

Spinelli owns her car but she seems to be having _constant_ trouble with it and it only makes her love it more when it does work. To summarise it for her, she seems to be stuck with the Neanderthal technique of _walking_.

"How're you feeling this fine morning?"

TJ expected the awkward silence to just carry on, but apparently they're _friends_ now?

"About as good as you could expect. You?"

Spinelli seemed to eye him from top to bottom, trying to determine her next course of action. Does she want to become close to him again or will it all end the same? It was _not_ a decision that she wanted to make quickly.

"You know what TJ? I'm actually not that bad, even if I am walking this morning."

"I could join you. If you'd like."

TJ desperately wanted to heal all past wounds and none was more important than the damage between himself and Spinelli. It seemed _anything_ involving her had an effect on him that multiplied on its own to the point where he didn't even know you could feel that way about a person.

"Why not. Let's get going."

The weather was starting to get cold again, but not to the point where extra clothing is needed quite yet. The walk was longer than the one he used to do to third street and TJ was thankful for that, as it gave him extra time with _her_.

"Those bruises are really starting to show themselves."

TJ laughed. "You should see the other guy."

"I did. He doesn't look much different."

TJ gave a dramatic sigh and looked at the ground beneath him all just to exaggerate his hurt.

Spinelli continued. "I'd still say you won though."

This cheered him up. "Don't you forget it."

The small talk couldn't last forever and the inevitable silence fell on them at an instant. They both wore all the physical signs that they wanted to continue their talk but they simply lacked any idea for what topic to bring up. After so long without any _real_ conversation they had lost their ability to talk in depth about nothing.

For a lack of any better idea, TJ continued their current direction.

"I know you like to fight and all but I don't think I'm cut out for this in the end."

"Oh, so you're _not_ gonna join the wrestling team this year?"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to pass. After all the fights in the home I suppose I thought I wouldn't have to again."

"You gotta fight for _anything_ in life. When you finally win something that you put in the sweat and tears is when you can be the proudest of yourself."

"I know what I'm fighting for now. I just want you guys back. I want us to be like we were before I fucked up."

TJ's blue eyes bore straight into Spinelli's. They both hide how they feel as a way to safeguard their own feelings and it is _only_ causing the wedge between them to remain as it is.

"Spin… I _never_ meant to upset you in anyway at all and I never thought that I'd ever want what caused my problems as much as I did. If I had gone out with you and the guys that night I wouldn't have been in that situation and everything would have been fine. I threw away everything because I made a dumb choice. It was my fault."

"Look Teej, I'm not looking for your apologies because I've heard them all before. Right now, _all_ I want is my friend _back_."

"I know, I know. That's what I want too."

Spinelli wasn't ready for whatever TJ was. She had only just convinced herself to talk to him without glaring a hole through his head. Maybe all she needed was the _truth_.

"Why did you…"

Before she could continue they had reached the school and were interrupted by a group of kids walking into them. This would _have_ to wait.

"All students report to the assembly area before classes thank you, all students to the assembly area." The speakers across the schooled dictated to the mass of students.

Spinelli snapped back to reality. "I guess I'll see ya later."

"Yeah, for sure." TJ watched her walk away, again. "See you."

* * *

"I'm telling ya Vince, the players these days just _aren't_ the same as they were a few years back."

"They do have some decent players up and coming and I know for a fact we have some _great_ players on our team now."

TJ just sighed after Vince reached the same point in his argument again. It wasn't out of annoyance or frustration, he was enjoying their debate. The innocence of dwelling over the best baseball players that they could think of reminded him of simpler times.

"Ok Vince, I think we are gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. _Especially_ before Kirby Pukkett gets brought up again."

Vince laughed at his friend. "Some things we are _never_ going to agree on, but you _know_ where I stand on him."

"Yes Vince, I do."

The boys were enjoying their lunch together after the assembly this morning. It was just something about talking over your future that seemed to both bore _and_ distress students all at the same time. Long lists of 'get good grades', 'don't do anything regrettable when you go out' or 'we're here to help you'. It gets old.

"So, how was your wake up this morning Teej? Better than the morning after I'm guessing."

"It was _exactly_ how you'd imagine it, absolute shit." TJ cringed at the feeling that was still lingering in his stomach from that morning.

"And you still have to walk to school? Man you should have called and I could have got Chad to pick you up on our way."

"It wasn't all that bad. Spinelli was with me so I got a bit of a distraction from my body nearly giving out on me."

Vince's eyes lit up immediately. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold up. You're friends again?"

"I _really_ don't know at the moment. What I do know is she _won't_ attack me if we spend too long together."

"Why are you guys still on edge. I mean, we are all pretty good now. It's been a while and it's not like anything crazy really happened."

"I think we just trusted each other more in a way."

Everyone knows TJ and Spinelli are close. They always have been. For years they were at the receiving end of jokes about them being together, even _now_ they still get that but not in the same teasing way. People genuinely believe that they are together and others would too if they didn't know them as well.

"I swear you guys should just kiss and make up already."

TJ stopped as he thought about what he was being told. Was it _that_ easy? No, of course it isn't. If everything happened before the kiss, and not after, then perhaps it wouldn't be as complicated as it was now. Maybe if he stopped it sooner.

"Hello, Earth to TJ. Are you there, man?"

"Huh, yeah I'm good."

"Why'd you space out on me this time. All I mentioned was walking to school with Spin and… oh I see."

TJ could tell Vince was on a very specific train of thought at the moment that is going to be quite uncomfortable for him. But they're _best_ friends, which is why TJ is going to let it go on, kinda.

"See what?"

"Come on Teej, just tell me if it's true."

" _It_ could be anything and I don't want to say anything in case it's not what you're thinking."

"So there _is_ something."

Vince's grin was growing wider by the second, only just too small to go complete from one side of his face to the other. He _knew_ at this moment that he had caught his friend in one of his secrets.

TJ, on the other hand, knew he could deny every accusation Vince could throw at him all day. The problem was that he wouldn't stop until he got the answer he was after.

"There _might_ have been a little something."

TJ waited for a response he was certain was coming his way but it never came. Instead, all he was met with was Vince's face completely engrossed in what he would say next, completely expectant that TJ was going continue and tell him a story.

"Right, well it started not long after I got back when I went to go see her. I just wanted some things up that I said and I _kissed_ her."

"Yesss!" Vince cheered for his friend and for himself by learning it all. "Umm, continue."

"That's just it. She didn't _want_ to continue but everything she did seemed to say the opposite. It _started_ going well and I think that's why she took it hard. I stopped it and she knew why I did."

"Did _she_ want to stop it?

"It was _my_ choice. She wouldn't have made it herself."

* * *

"Becky, where are my shoes?"

For an early morning it was loud, with TJ's voice booming through their house. Becky was already up preparing for work so he didn't have to sneak around on his mission for getting ready for school.

"Where did _you_ leave them?"

TJ sighed out loud to himself. If only _he_ had thought of such a thing before searching the entire house. He can recall _all_ of his steps last night but not one of them included taking off his shoes. Why does something so simple have to be so forgettable?

Another few minutes into searching and he had given up yet again.

"Becky, are you _sure_ you haven't seen them anywhere?"

This was really his last option in his mind. If she doesn't know, no one does.

"No TJ, I really have not seen them. Wear your old ones."

"But I like my new ones better. The old ones aren't the same."

"Wow. To think I thought that _girls_ were obsessed with how they look."

TJ huffed and continued on his was to get his old shoes out of his wardrobe. They weren't too small or broken or anything. They simply weren't the _new_ shoes. Becky was totally exaggerating thinking he cares _that_ much about fashion, when he does. Typical.

When TJ come back down stairs he found Becky was just about ready to leave. Luckily for him he still had about an hour and a half until he would have to leave for school.

Becky looked straight to his feet and smiled.

"They aren't _that_ bad are they?"

TJ had opted for a more skater type of shoe as of late. That is why he felt out of place wearing his red converses, which still fit since he had pretty much stopped growing by now.

"They're _fine_ but I'm just not used to them like I used to be."

"Well they are going to have to do. The others will turn up eventually."

"Thanks for the support, sis."

Becky laughed at her brothers obvious disappointment at losing his favourite shoes. Glancing at the clock, she decided it was time to head off to work before she gets distracted anymore.

Walking out of the door she yelled her goodbyes back into the house. Upon hearing TJ reply back and seeing the Spinelli household active she couldn't resist.

She looked back and yelled out as loud as she could manage. "Oh and TJ, don't forget to clean up all your _underwear_ out of the living room."

She didn't have to see it but she could picture the embarrassed and annoyed look that would have been sent her way.

* * *

TJ sat eating his breakfast, his last thing to do before brushing his teeth and leaving for school, when he heard a knock at his door. Seems to happen a lot lately.

"Room service." Came a female's voice.

Forcing down his last big spoonful he went to let Spinelli in. He was glad to see her, as usual, and mumbled a hello to her through his mouthful of food.

"Didn't your mother _ever_ teach you not to speak while eating?"

TJ swallowed his food, after nearly spitting it out. "She did, but I'm a slow learner."

Quick to change the subject, Spinelli went to the first thing she could think of, and also finish her joke.

"Well I _heard_ you need some underwear cleaned and thought you could use a hand."

"Sorry to disappoint but Becky was telling a few little lies this morning."

"I thought that might have been the case but I never know with _you_."

"So what are you up to?" The conversation moving inside the house now so TJ could clean up his breakfast.

"Meeting up with you to go to school."

She spoke like it was something that he should have already known. Something as common sense as knowing his own birthday.

He liked the thought of walking with her again so he could spend some time together. On top of that, they hadn't _really_ had the time to finish their talk they started the other day.

"Wait a sec." Coming out of his thoughts. "What about your car?"

Her face dropped at the mention of her piece of metal and plastic.

"Don't even get me started on the _stupid_ piece of _junk_. How long until you're ready to go?"

"Give me like... ten minutes."

She smirked at him in the sly way she always would. "You got five."

Like the gun at the start of a race, her voice sent him straight into action and just like that he ran off to try and beat her deadline.

* * *

It was one of the _worse_ times for TJ right now. He had no class on but there was no one around that usually had study hall with. It left him to himself and, although his thoughts no longer bothered him _as much_ , he still craved something to keep him busy. Out of _all_ the places he could think of, he arrived at the library to read his English book. It was a job that _never_ seemed to get done.

He finally found the book he was after and settled in at the back of the library as to not be seen by 'popular' kids. It wasn't such a _total_ act of social suicide as it was in his earlier years, being seen working on school work. It was more accepted by others now and the teachers became less like the dictators they were and were now more of a friend. Either way, TJ _still_ possessed his trait of laziness towards school.

"Hey TJ, what are you doing _here_?"

Searching for the owner of the voice, TJ span around and quickly found his answer.

"Mikey? Aren't you supposed to be in drama right now?"

"Well yes but the auditorium is getting a rather modernised redo and the renovation was _meant_ to be occurring out of the way of class time. Apparently today is the day they paint our little piece of heaven and freedom in a plethora of different shades of blacks, whites and greys, with the odd splash of vibrant colours."

"Sounds like it's _just_ what you guys want."

"While it's bothersome, it is much needed in the ancient room we get shoved into. Not literally of course."

"Whatever floats your boat, big guy. Hey umm... I was wondering…"

"Yeah?"

"What's the best way to tell someone everything that you don't think you could even say out aloud at all?"

Mikey went into thought about all the ways he could think of, ranging from blunt to utterly heartbreaking romance. Of course TJ couldn't possibly use each and every method that he could come up with.

"Describe 'everything'."

"Like things that you want to say but you _can't_ because you think it's going to work out wrong again."

Mikey gave him a knowing look. "Girl trouble?"

As much as it spited him, TJ felt he really _needed_ another opinion on his troubles.

"Yeah."

"Honestly young TJ, you need to tell her how you feel before things get beyond complicated and the drama becomes unbearable and all is lost. And being completely honest, since when have _you_ had a problem of saying how you feel."

Dramatic as ever, that's Kurt Mikey. It doesn't stop his main point from coming across but it exaggerates all the things that are _already_ troubling his mind. It would be simpler if things were… simpler.

"It's not that easy Mikey. There's a lot more to it."

"TJ, young love is not to be taken _too_ seriously. I'm sure our Spinelli will understand."

"How do you know it's…"

"I know. _Please_ , for all that is right, talk to her and tell her how you feel."

TJ had heaps to consider now and he couldn't do it with Mikey's company, so he said thanks and left the library. Time alone would help to clear his head.

* * *

The bell rang, like it does at the end of every day, to signal him to his freedom. Tonight he was lucky enough to have Becky home with him, so that they could spend some time together that wasn't _only_ at meal times. He had planned to watch some ridiculously bad movies together and laugh about anything that would come to his mind. To him it was the _best_ relief of his stress.

"Remember class that you must start your assignments as soon as possible. The list of partners are on my desk so read it _before_ you leave."

Everyone pushed to see who their partner was going to be. TJ hadn't really been paying much attention to what it was going to be about but he knew it had to be something about photography, since that was the class he was in. Besides, he had the handout for it so he could figure it all out later.

"Move."

"Hurry up."

"Come on, let me see."

TJ slowly made his way to the teacher's desk to see that he was paired with the old swinger girl. She doesn't actually _swing_ much anymore, but she loves her swingers parties. You know, the ones where people meet up to hook up with each other.

"Nuh uh, no way, never. I am not being paired with Lawson." Spinelli raged at seeing her partner.

Spinelli loved the arts and photography fell under that subject. TJ chose it because it was one of the easier choices he was given and he wasn't _that_ bad at it. It was the same case with Lawson except he was miraculously _still_ failing, again.

"I'm sorry miss Spinelli but the partnering is final. You _must_ make do."

"Surely you could let me swap him for someone else. It won't make no difference to you."

TJ tuned in a little bit more at this. He used to sit with Spinelli every lesson but last semester she was as far away as possible from him and that had carried on into this year's class as well. This could be the thing he needs to get closer to her without having to seem desperate.

"In life you _will_ encounter _all_ sorts of people, trust me I'm in teaching, and some of these people will be with you in a working environment. Much like in this moment, you have found someone you must work with as a peer and I believe it is a valuable life lesson to learn how to at least _act_ friendly. Carry on miss Spinelli."

The look on her face said it all without a single sound having to escape from her lips. She had been defeated by _the man_ and couldn't do anything to stop it. It may have been much worse for her, but TJ felt a bit let down at the situation also.

After a quick chat to swinger girl, since the name is _still_ relevant, he went for his locker so that he could finally head home. He put in his locker numbers, 06 01 27, and put away all of his stuff, grabbed his bad, locked it back up and made his way for the gates.

"You gonna walk by yourself now huh?"

TJ didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. "Sorry Spin, didn't mean to leave ya all alone." He said like he was talking to a baby.

"Oh ha ha. Listen Teej, you _need_ to help me change photography partners. I need a full proof plan."

"As much as I wish I could help out, I don't think I can do much about this one. We could still help each other out though like we used to?"

TJ would like to believe that he came across like he was _telling_ her that they _were_ going to hang out again but deep down he knew it sounded like he was asking a question. _She_ held the power, not him.

She grunted then started walking home. "Come on, let's just go."

When he finally caught up with her, which wasn't long, she seemed to have cooled down.

"So how are you gonna handle Lawson?" He asked.

"Better than you did the other night." Spinelli found herself hilarious and had to take a break to stop herself laughing. TJ still had the bruise on his face.

"But I don't know. I'll probably do _most_ of the work. I could take some pictures of the park or the lake… or even Kelso's."

"You going for the childhood memory feel?"

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Thought I might aswell if you are. I thought you stopped wearing those shoes _ages_ ago."

He didn't know why, because it was pointless, but he felt slightly embarrassed that she noticed. It was a mix between him still not being completely comfortable in them and her actually _noticing_ small stuff about him, like his shoes.

"It's all I could find this morning. I have _no_ clue where my normal ones are."

Spinelli laughed again. "I'm sure they'll turn up. So what are you up to tonight?"

"Becky is actually home tonight so we are gonna chill together. It's been a while and I'm looking forward to it. TV on, food out, lights off and up all night. It will be perfect."

"It's nice you two are so close again. It's like you were in kindergarten."

As much as TJ _wanted_ to see where Spinelli was taking their conversation, he had committed to Becky and he wasn't going to give that up for anything. That is, until he got home.

"That's strange."

"What?"

As the two were coming up to their houses, TJ's first he noticed that Becky's car _wasn't_ there like it should have been.

"Becky isn't home yet."

"Maybe it's just her car isn't here."

"Nah she would have told me. Anyway, I'll catch you later."

"Take care, man." Spinelli left with a lazy wave behind her.

TJ smiled at how much of a tomboy she still was. Not as extreme as she used to be but she definitely still had certain habits and mannerisms.

He went inside to the kitchen, _expecting_ Becky to be sitting at the table since he didn't see her in the living room as he entered. On the bench he found a note from her saying that she came home but got called in for work and that she had to postpone their 'sibling night'.

TJ's posture slouched as he throw the note back down and lugged his bag upstairs to his room. The one thing he was looking forward to the most in the day was lost.

* * *

"Hey Teej, get down here."

Spinelli was in his house? He had to see it to believe it. There was no real reason for her to be here in his mind so he was either daydreaming _again_ or she wanted something. He went downstairs and surely enough she had let herself in.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I saw that Becky wasn't here so I thought I could cheer you up a bit with some movies and food."

She held up the assortment of candies, chocolate and d-grade horror movies in her hands to show him how much effort she had gone through.

"Honestly, I think I'm gonna have a quiet night tonight. I'm not really up to do much at the moment."

She scoffed at his reply. "Like I'm giving you a choice. Go get into something comfy and bring down some blankets."

After a couple hours, Spinelli had achieved what she wanted. She was _still_ angry at TJ, maybe angry isn't the right word anymore, but he was also the same guy he's always been. She's done some bad things before and TJ had _always_ been there for her, like the 'Butch phase' she went through. Thinking of stuff like that had helped her realise that she _wanted_ his friendship more than the relationship they didn't have or the distance that they did.

TJ yawned. "Thanks Spin."

It was getting late and Becky would be home within the hour. TJ was going to wait up for her but Spinelli knew she should be heading off soon anyway.

"Don't mention it."

"But I _want_ to. You're my best friend and I'm sorry I pushed you away. It was only because I didn't want to drag you down with me with all that stuff."

"Yeah well, what made you think that I _didn't_ want to help. You know I would have stuck around."

"That's why I did it. I didn't want to make it _your_ problem."

"TJ… you can be _too_ selfless sometimes. If you had told me it would have been different."

"I know but after everything I thought I would have ruined it all. I didn't want to lose that completely."

"You nearly did."

He stopped to take that in. He never really comprehended how close they were to never speaking again, from anger and pure awkwardness.

"I had to take that risk. Spin… I… I love you."

She was speechless in front of him. No one's ever said _that_ to her like he just did. He really meant it and she could tell that from a mile away, or three doors down at least.

"You know I feel about you Teej but… this time _I decide_ where it goes between us."

TJ was anxious, hopeful, scared and excited, you name it, and he didn't know what to do next. _Anything_ he could do or say right now could be the perfect or the worse move he could make in his life. He searched her eyes for any glimpse of a clue as to what she is expecting from him was. He found _nothing_.

"And what do _you_ decide?"


	11. Chapter 6: Boys will be

**Have a look at this, I finally managed to get another chapter out. Sorry about the delay but I'm hoping people haven't lost interest in this thing yet because I'm gonna keep 'em coming.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy the much anticipated (if you can call it that) next chapter and I'll chat with you all next time. And cheers to the newest reader to favourite the story (soccerlover91), funny how you did the day of this chapter.**

 **Catch ya's**

* * *

That was the first _real_ fight he has ever had with Becky and frankly he can't believe it. It happened too fast and before he realised he was out the door and into the coldness of winter.

He knows he _should_ head back and apologise for everything because deep down all she did was care for him, because there is no one else to do it right now. It was just his sadness and frustration that seemed to be getting the best of him lately.

After leaving the house, and Becky, he walked aimlessly in any direction without taking note of where he was going. Eventually he found his way to _the lake_. Still as cold as it was when he last visited and _believing_ he had his parents out there waiting for him. Due to the speed at which he left he had left his winter jacket back at the house and felt the full force of the cold night, yet he stayed out.

"I'm sorry."

There was no one there to hear him but that didn't bother him. It helped relieve everything he'd been holding in.

"Everything is so hard without you guys. I miss you, so much." He rubbed the water forming at his eye. "I don't know how Becky's doing it because I know I can't handle much more. Please... come back."

Of course TJ was met with nothing but the sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees and the water softly splashing at the edge of the lake. It all meant nothing to him but isolation.

There was a small spot by a tree that he made himself semi-comfortable in as he watched the water move. Eventually the coldness got the better of him and he began to move again in search of somewhere else. Picking a direction, TJ shivered his way through the streets until he came to another place _worth_ the time to stop at, Third Street Elementary.

It never had the same appeal at night compared to how he remembered it. It was quieter and somewhat spooky, Gus will _always_ be the first to deny that though. TJ entered the school grounds and went to old rusty, the place of the kings chair, the fifth and sixth graders club, the prison and so much more.

Settling on a platform that was blocked from the wind allowed TJ to continue his musings over the night and everything else on his mind. He was _not_ a happy human being at this point in his life.

How long must it have been, 30 minutes? His phone had already accumulated 12 missed calls and 27 messages all from the one person. However, it was his latest message that surprised him the most.

 _Teej it's spin where ru?! Call me_

He didn't know if that's what he wanted right now, another person around him, but he couldn't not answer her. She deserved _that_ much. Should he call or just message her not to worry?

He called. From his platform on the playground he listened to the ring of the phone two and a half times before she picked up.

"Teej, what is up with Becky calling me?"

TJ stuttered before uttering out that there was nothing. "What did she say to you anyway?"

"That you had a _little_ argument and that you walked out. She thought you came to my place and when I said no she had no idea where you were."

"Don't worry ok. Pretend you didn't get the call."

Spinelli was getting more frustrated by the minute and surely by the ever increasing gap in her responses, he was sure to notice.

"Why would I want to pretend something that happened never did? Talk to me."

TJ sighed. "Me and Becky just disagreed a little and I wanted some air."

"Teej, it's god damn _freezing_ outside. Where are you?"

He battled with his decision to let her find him. While he wanted someone to help him and be there for him, he didn't know how to achieve that. Hell, if he did he wouldn't even know how to act around them anymore knowing that they know how he _really_ feels. He's created this cycle of thinking that grows worse with every round. He still blames himself and _hates_ feeling like he needs help from others because he feels as though he would be asking for the attention he doesn't deserve.

"I'm at old rusty."

"What! Come round to mine and we can chat."

"I really don't feel like it."

"Then I'm coming to you. Don't move."

* * *

"TJ, where are you?"

"I'm over here."

Spinelli followed the sound of his voice to the platform he was sitting on. When she saw him he was visibly shaking from the weather that he had placed himself in.

"Well it's a good thing a brought a blanket. Now, move over a little for me."

She never ceased to amaze him. She never planned too much ahead but always managed to have or do just what he needed without him even knowing what that _thing_ was himself.

"Thanks." TJ whispered as he moved over to give her some room.

They both got comfortable next to each other under the blanket. What a place to end up. This one playground was a part of, what they remember as, the _best_ years of their lives. No _real_ problems, no responsibility, playing with friends and going back home to your family. It was a carefree lifestyle.

"So…" TJ was first to break the ice. He didn't know if it was because of his hate for the silence or how he's always felt somewhat obligated to lead a situation.

"Yeah, so…" Spinelli had thought of all the things she would say on the way to him but was now lost. That didn't mean that she won't still continued.

"Do you _want_ to tell me what happened? You don't have to if you don't want... but I'll listen."

TJ was so used to the hard ass, Madame Fist Spinelli that whenever she did become a bit softer he opened up to her like a river would when it finally met the ocean.

"I miss them so much."

"That's completely normal."

"No, it's not normal. _Nothing_ is the same anymore and I don't know what to do."

TJ was beginning to get tears forming at the edge of his eyes and Spinelli wasn't really prepared for such a vulnerable TJ. She'd _never_ seen him like this.

"TJ, I've know you pretty much my whole life. There has never been anything that has kept you down and I know that you are gonna get through this. You have all of us to be there for you no matter what. Always."

"Becky thinks that I've been doing too much around the house."

"Have you?"

"I need to. I can't leave her to do it by herself. If I don't do it then no one will help her."

"It doesn't have to be all on you. Help will _always_ be there."

"No, it won't. There is no one to help anymore. _They're_ not here anymore."

That was it for TJ. The water from his eyes fell freely down his face now as he was finally saying out loud all he'd been thinking to himself. He _needed_ his parents back, desperately. The hole that they left will never be filled and it is the only thing he ever noticed anymore, their absence.

Spinelli placed her arm over his shoulder and pulled him into her. He cried into her shoulder as she tried to console him in anyway that she could. The best thing that she found to work best was to just let him be, holding him silently as he let his emotions drain out until he was ready to go home again.

Looking down at his head she realised that he wasn't the fearless leader they always knew. He couldn't always be brave just so others wouldn't have to. It made her wonder how many other times _he_ had sacrificed his own pride and feelings to protect those around him. Thinking on it, he had been doing it all his life. One of these moments she remembered was when he called miss Grotke 'mama' so that she wouldn't be teased as 'mama's girl' anymore.

"I still love you, TJ. Always."

And she did. She didn't know if he heard her through his tears but she knew that she had said it to him and that was enough for now.

* * *

In the two days that followed, TJ seemed to have settled down after his emotional night. He and Becky apologised to each other and Becky gave him a bit more breathing room to let him handle things his own way.

"We've been short-listed!"

Vince and Gus were over the moon with their luck for the concert tickets they so very much want. The competition works in stages and they have moved to the second one, one away from the final third round. The first round was simply why you think you and your friends _deserve_ the tickets, now they have to fill out a quiz on music and the top scores move on, it's a long and randomised test. Either way, it was the topic of choice for their recess talk.

"Man, I am super pumped for this. There's no way we can lose between all of us." Vince couldn't contain his excitement.

"I don't know you guys. We might still have to do a bit of background work, so we can better understand what we are up against."

Gus wanted to make sure _everything_ went to plan when it comes to these tickets. It was a prize he was ready to claim.

"Might I suggest that we all reconvene after a week of individual revision to give ourselves the greatest odds of success?"

The six all looked at each other before agreeing with Gretchen. A week should be plenty of time to learn a thing or two about different bands and their songs.

Vince looked at the three quiet members of their group. "How's the drama show coming along Mikey?"

"Marvelous, thank you for asking. Considering that we are yet to cast all of the roles, but alas we shall continue on."

"I'm sure you can handle that big guy." Vince then turned to TJ and Spinelli. "What have you guys been up to?"

Why must they always be referred to as one. It's like they don't believe they have their own lives to live.

"Nothing much."

"Just hanging."

They both answered at the same time and that only deepened the belief that they are always _together_. This was nothing new to the gang so they carried on as usual.

"Say, why don't we all go to Kelso's after school? I'm sure he will have some delicious food there for us to divulge in."

Everyone seemed to agree that it would be a good idea, especially Mikey for his stomach. Time seemed to pass by quicker now that they're older and they forget how much time has passed since the last time they _all_ went out together.

"I'm sorry guys but I'm going out later tonight and I have to get some things done before that."

TJ hated turning down his friends but he promised the boys back at the home that he would visit them after dinner. The problem was the house was a mess and Becky had the night shift tonight.

"But TJ, you gotta come out with us. You just gotta."

"Sorry Gus but I've already got plans."

"But it's been so long man, we hardly ever see you now out of school."

"Vince carries a rather truthful reasoning for his argument." Gretchen agreed.

TJ was being pressured by his friends but deep down he _couldn't_ leave everything he has to do undone, despite how much he wanted to hang with everyone.

Spinelli placed her hand on TJ's shoulder. "How about you come out for a little bit and I'll help you out after it so you still have time?"

TJ couldn't keep the small grin off of his face. She always put him in a mood like this one and the problem was that she always seemed perfectly reasonable in his eyes. His only contesting thought was that she would be giving up her time for him. But isn't that kind of what he wanted?

"Ok, only for a little while though."

"Sweet."

"Splendid."

"Oh how gloriously things work out."

"Cool."

Vince led the rest of the plans, he's been doing more of that lately. "Ok, we will meet up after class and head straight there so TJ can make it."

Not every group of friends were as close as these six. Willing to work around a wide variety of issues that would normally split people straight down the middle. It was one of the things that TJ appreciated most about them as a whole.

"Sounds good to me." TJ added in before the bell rang and they went their separate ways.

* * *

"The food here _never_ ceases to stimulate my taste buds in such a pleasant manner. You can feel the dopamine and serotonin having their effect on the brain with each bite."

Gretchen's ramblings only met blank faces and complete cluelessness. All that they knew was the food tasted great, Mikey was _already_ on his second serving. The food was always this good when Kelso made it himself and they were glad it was one of the day he was at the shop.

"Sooo… anyway, what are your plans tonight, TJ?" Vince was curious about what was more important than them.

"I've been promising the guys that I'd visit for a while now and tonight is the night we all agreed to."

"Oh the glories of new friendships." Came the cries from Mikey.

"More like finding _new_ ones." Vince mumbled, but loud enough to hear.

It wasn't that he was angry about being ditched, well he was. There was nothing to be jealous over and TJ hadn't dropped them completely, he just didn't see them as often as he used to. Spinelli gave vince a look that seemed to tell him to drop it and it worked a charm. Her looks aren't all talk, they know that much.

TJ started, "Hey, come on man…" But Spinelli intervened, for his sake. "Let's not waste time then. I'm ready for another famous banana split."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to uncover Spinelli's reasoning for stopping TJ and Vince. TJ found himself relying on her more and more as time went on but this was something _different_. She has transcended past the 'don't mess with my friend' protection to a 'I'm going to make sure that you are safe' kind of thing, if that makes sense, it does in his mind. She is overprotective, yeah, that sounds better.

It wasn't something that he noticed before but after the night at the playground he feels as though she sees him as vulnerable and needs someone there for him. He wouldn't care if she did because she genuinely cares, he'd prefer it, but he doesn't want to play the _victim_. Never has and never will.

He looked up at her sitting across the table after coming out of his thoughts. She was smiling and laughing with the others about how easy she could finish another dessert. The sight as a whole made him happy to the point where he couldn't keep the small forming across his face.

Although he wished he could stay longer he did have to get home and do some self-appointed chores around the house. Time always went too fast when he was enjoying himself but he promised himself he would do this. He had to go.

"Hey guys I hate to do this but I really gotta start heading home."

The reaction was just as he expected, sadness. It came across a _little_ bit passive aggressive in TJ's eyes but he put it down on him over-thinking it all.

"I'll come help, I said that I would." Spinelli offered.

"You really don't have to Spin. I can handle it."

He didn't want her to give her time for him when he was going to be doing, essentially, nothing. It wasn't _fair_ for him to put that on her.

"I said I would, so I will. Let's go."

So she has said it, so it shall be. The others said goodbye and they both left towards TJ's house.

* * *

Looking back on it now, Spinelli was right. It was about seven o'clock and TJ had to leave by now to make it on time to the house.

"See, I told you we could finish before you had to go." Great, she _knew_ how much help she was.

"Okay, okay. Thank you for helping me out."

Spinelli revelled in her praise. To be completely true, she only wanted to spend more time with him and this just gave her an excuse to do so. No strings attached, no one around to tease them about how good of a _couple_ they would make. No, they were just together.

"You know I wouldn't turn you down. Especially when I know we can be alone like this. It's... peaceful."

This wasn't his Spinelli. His? Can he call her that? TJ wasn't sure why his feelings for his friend are changing so much lately. It could be that he's simply in an emotional state or maybe he was just naive to it all before.

"Then we can definitely do it again." TJ smiled.

Upon hearing that TJ also wants to spend more time alone brought the little girl out of Spinelli. Her stomach twisted and the blood rushed straight to her face.

"I can work with that. Well, I know you're in a rush so I won't keep you."

The two walked towards the door and out into the street to where they would inevitably separate. That walk _couldn't_ be long enough. They both reached the spot but couldn't find the words that they wanted. Instead they stared for a bit longer, taking turns to fidget and bite their lips. Spinelli lost the patience and took his hand.

"Have fun tonight… and I'll… um… see you tomorrow."

"That is a promise I can keep for as long as I live."

Escaping the awkwardness the two parted. How they both wanted to taste each other's lips but they didn't know if they were at the kiss goodbye stage. They didn't know what stage they were in at all, if they were to be truthful.

* * *

The home was now in his sights down the road. The sun was setting and it left a radiant orange light on everything it touched. Remembering what it was like there, alone and miserable, the look of it right now could give a passer-by the illusion it was just another building on the street. The abandoned boys inside spoke louder than any exterior _ever_ could in TJ's mind.

He knows that if he came at a more suitable time then he could go straight through the front doors and wouldn't have to climb around anymore. First of all he doesn't _like_ walking in through those doors after his first experience doing it. Second, they are always watched during that time so TJ and the other boys all agreed it would be _much_ better to meet in their room.

Climbing the fence had become almost second nature to him now. Little time was wasted on scaling the chain links before jumping onto the roof. The view from where he was was probably his _favourite_ thing about the home.

"TJ, you fine looking model, get in here." Kai whispered loudly from the now open windows.

Remembering his friends now, the view was his _second_ favourite thing. He treaded across the roof to enter through his old window.

"TJ."

"Detweiler!"

"The monkey child is back."

"Hey, Monkey child is off limits." TJ laughed as his friends greeted him.

"Where have you been? You said you'd be here half an hour ago."

Isaac looked far from impressed but nonetheless glad that TJ had carried through on his promise to visit them. Regardless of the tough guy attitude he displayed to the world, he was still a kid. It was simple friendships like the ones he had with those around him that kept him together. Well, minus one.

TJ had finished seeing everyone when he noticed someone was missing. He stepped back and took stock on his friends. Isaac, Kai, Oliver and Stuart. Where is Matthew?

He was aware that Matthew wasn't the _loudest_ out of the bunch and it was rare that you walked into a room and find him straight away. Despite all of antics going on in the room and the greetings being exchanged TJ was almost instantly seeking out this lost member. Missing people has become something that TJ wanted to avoid for the rest of his life.

"I was just with a another friend who was helping me out with something."

"Who was this _friend_?" Isaac borderline demanded.

"Just one of the girls from school." TJ hated that he made her sound so unimportant to him but technically he wasn't _lying_. It was just the sound of it that felt unnatural.

"One of your girl friends, hey?" Oliver began to laugh. "What was she helping you with then? Or is that _private_?"

The boys were in hysterics and TJ's face became a deep shade of red. In his mind he was preparing all of his counter arguments but a thought lingered there telling him how bad he _wished_ that their jokes were true. Rather than deny what he wants, maybe changing the subject would work better.

"Whatever. Anyway, where is Matthew? Don't tell me he got given chores tonight."

TJ looked around the room as the noise died down into nothingness. The sense that he wasn't around anymore was almost tangible, so much so that if he took a bite into the air he would be able to taste it. The first thing that popped into his brain was he got adopted after so long, which would be rare at his age, but no one was celebrating like he would have expected them to.

He dared to ask again. "Guys, _where_ is he?"

It was as if saying his name caused them to lose the ability to look him in the eye. When he did manage to make contact it was with Stuart who could only force out a worrying smile meant to comfort him.

"Stuart, tell me."

Stuart took a deep breath. "We don't know. He took off sometime the other night and we haven't heard from him since."

Hurt hit TJ again. He lost someone else in his life but this time it was by choice. There was no explanation, no goodbye to anyone. He simply left. As much as it pained them all, there was an unsaid understanding of his motives for leaving. Leaving the cageless prison, the _constant_ reminder of being without family and leaving behind the group of boys who had became so _reliant_ on each other. They were TJ's rock. They were each other's.

"Fuck him." Isaac lost his temper. "Who is he to up and go. If _we_ weren't good enough for him then he wasn't good enough for _us_. I don't even care who comes and goes anymore because they all leave. How many people have roomed with us? It's not just Matthew. Hell, even TJ left."

"That's not fair." Kai interrupted.

TJ couldn't move at this sudden outburst. He didn't _leave_ , not really. He always comes back like he was now.

"No, you know it's true." Isaac continued. "He was barely here a month and he got out. What about us? I've been stuck _here_ forever."

TJ could feel the emotions boiling inside him and it was the _last_ place he thought he would have to feel this way. He _had_ to leave. He knows that if he stays and listens that he will lose any composure. To lose another person and the get thrown in as part of the problem. TJ felt responsible for so many things and blamed himself everyday. Isaac is only confirming this now.

Without a word TJ got up and went for the window.

"Where are you going?" Stuart reached for him, silently asking him to stay.

"I gotta go. I'll see you later, I guess."

"Fucking doubt it!" Isaac screamed at him as he went through the window.

The tears were starting to fall across his face now that he knew _they_ wouldn't see him walking away on the roof.

Stuart, Oliver and Kai followed him out and left Isaac to his miserable self. They called for him to stay so they could sort this out but TJ simply refused and told them that he _really_ had to go, the sound of hurt in his voice clear as the night sky above him.

As they all reached the edge of the roof it was the boys _last chance_ to get TJ to go back inside.

"Look, TJ." Stuart turned him around to stare straight into his glassy eyes. "We aren't going anywhere and neither should you. Let's go back and sort this out."

TJ wanted to _so_ badly. It was his pain and fear of abandonment that kept him from that however. He was paralysed with all the what-if scenarios.

"I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

With that TJ made the small jump onto the fence to climb down. Upon landing his hand lost his grip and he leant backwards, falling away from the _safety_ that he had in his hands just microseconds before. Time seemed to slow as he fell further backwards and lost his footholds, leaving him free falling between the home and the fence.

It all happened so quick that he couldn't react but in the moment he could analyse _all_ of the mistakes he made with that _one_ jump.

He finally hit the ground, facing up. The pain tore through his spine as he took in the stars so _bright_ in front of him. His screams were restrained by the pure agony he felt and any noise that he _could_ make was drowned out by the cries for help by his three friends still on the roof looking down at him.

The darkness began closing in on him from the outsides of his vision until, just like his _parents_ , there was nothing.


	12. Chapter 7: But not out

**So ummm... I've been away for a while and I don't really have a good excuse but that's not the focus no more. The good news is that there is a new chapter after so many months that I've forgetten the number.**

 **This story will, and I mean will, be finished. The updates will probably be inconsistent but they will come. Thanks to all those who have read/reviewed/favourited or anything else. This one is for you guys.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

There was a noise. It was so soft, almost angelic off into the distance. While the idea seemed so easy to just try and focus on it. To try and recognise _any_ familiar aspects, he just… couldn't.

He tried to open his eyes but was met with a heaviness from his own eyelids that he didn't even realise was possible before this day. He tried again, and again, and again but met _nothing_ with each attempt. He was stressing himself out with each second that passed until the noise became clearer.

 _Beep… beep… beep…_

So steady but terrifying as he realised he had heard this noise before. The hospital. Last time he was here it was for a sprained ankle and now, he doesn't even know why.

Eventually light began to peer its way into TJ's half opened eyes as he regained a small portion of control of his body. It blinded him but he knew there would be someone that would help him if he could just signal them. With his eyes now working he surveyed the area carefully. It was empty, square and white with a machine set up to his left, a TV screen sitting at the end of his feet off in the corner and his mum sleeping in the chair to his right.

His _mum_?

He had to do a double take. Was this _really_ her? It had to be. It looked just like her.

"Mum?" TJ mumbled out. "Mum, mum…"

He couldn't seem to make any noise. He was helpless. Unable to call to his mum as she sat right next to him. Someone he had needed for so long. He was desperate. There was _nothing_ he wouldn't give for her.

She moved. She was waking up. The slight movement TJ had made in his bed had been enough to startle her sleep. Her hands became an open palm and were placed against the table her head was resting on. She arose, using her arms to push herself up, and then turned her head to face him. It _was_ her.

"Mum." A tear dropped from his eye and landed on his cheek.

"TJ, you're awake!" She could speak. "TJ, I was so worried. I thought I had lost you."

Something was wrong. She sounded different than what he remembered. Had it been _that_ long? As she continued to talk her face was changing. Her facial expression becoming younger as if she had just drank from the fountain of youth. She was morphing into a completely different person.

It was… _Becky_?

TJ finally snapped out of his musings to become aware of the doctors standing around him talking and looking at him. This was worrying.

* * *

Becky once again lay asleep at his bedside table. His speech had still not returned but the doctors told him that it would return after a few days and it was common with how he had managed to hit his head during the fall. The _trouble_ would be his spine.

How 'lucky' he was that the damage wasn't worse than it was. Part of the bone had snapped without doing any permanent damage to the spinal cord, and could be fixed and healed up in a couple of months.

It was actually quite amazing how little pain he felt but he placed that down to the heavy painkillers he was on. The tests had come back well in the 3 days he lost after the fall and it was _expected_ that once his head is given the all clear in about a week that he can carry out the rest of his recovery at home, in his own bed.

After a few hours of intermittent sleeping, a nurse arrived saying that he had visitors, _if_ he wanted them. A group of kids had arrived saying they were his best friends.

Becky looked at TJ waitingly. "Y-yes… p-p-plea… se."

The old gang walked in. Gretchen studying her friend and his surroundings for any clue as to his condition while Vince stared at his friend lying in the hospital bed. Gus followed closely behind Mikey, both wearing similar looks of distraught while Spinelli was unreadable. She seemed so overwhelmed with emotion but so blank all at the same time. Anyone who knew her had enough reason to be worried at her reaction to seeing TJ.

"Teej, how are you feeling?" Vince was first to ensure his friend was ok.

"I'm g-g-good."

Gretchen perked up after completing her analysis of the room. "Looks like you went through quite the ordeal. The doctors said you got lucky and I will have to agree with their conclusion."

There it was again. 'Lucky'. He felt no connection to the word and he was sure that the disdain he had for being 'lucky' was expressed clearly on his face at hearing Gretchen mention it. Largely due to the fact he couldn't fight trying to act calm in his current morphine induced state.

"Oh Theodore…"

Spinelli made her way to him. His weak and broken appearance made her feel the same mentally and she couldn't stand the sight. As she looked at him wide eyed she felt so guilty. He was with her almost right before it happened. She _could_ have saved him by keeping him at home, or anywhere else.

TJ mumbled an incomprehensible reply before getting lost in her eyes. The others continued on asking how he was, to which Becky answered the majority of questions, but TJ could barely focus on their words. Spin was with him. His Spin. She had her hand spread over his shoulder for comfort.

"I promise…" she said. "I am going to make sure you get better. You can count on that."

With the sound of her voice and the comfort of her touch, he slept.

* * *

The day had come to be discharged from the hospital. His time there had all been one large blur with his constant tiredness but now he was going to back to his own home again. His speech had returned back to normal days ago and his head tests showed that the swelling in his brain had all but disappeared.

What had kept him so long was his legs. His spinal cord was taking longer to heal than was anticipated and, with the added time that he was stuck in bed, had lost the strength in his muscles. He could _barely_ stand upright let alone move around independently. He felt so small. So _helpless_.

Becky spent a large portion of her time by his side but she would need to return to work soon so that she can keep her source of income. It was still something that TJ was guilty about placing on her shoulders. How much _more_ of a burden would he be on her now?

He _loved_ her. It was so clear to him. Before he thought he knew that he loved her because families have to love each other, despite the constant sibling bickering between them. Now, it was different. She was all he had and vice versa. He would have nothing without her.

TJ was now sitting up in his hospital bed waiting for Becky to return with the paperwork so that he could be taken home. Thinking about all that she meant to him had started to stir up old feelings as he began to cry yet again. As he sat there crying he couldn't think of any one reason why he was and that only served to frustrate him even more. He was so weak.

He heard the door to his room start to open and he wiped his eyes to hide _any_ sign of what he was doing. He was going home today and it was a happy moment. Becky returned with his doctor, who gave him the final check over before signing his documents and signalling the nurses to come and pack it all up.

Roughly 20 minutes later TJ was on his way out the front doors. Unfortunately, Becky was pushing him out on a wheelchair as he still struggled with walking for too long. That, and it was hospital policy to ensure his safety during his way out, so they took the precaution.

Becky's car was close by so it was easy to get to. She pushed her little brother to the passenger side door and opened it for him only to turn around and find him struggling to get out of his chair.

"Wait TJ. Wait, let me help you." Sincerity leaking from every word.

TJ brushed her hand away from him. "No, I can do it."

TJ appreciated her respecting his wishes but found himself falling after getting one leg into the car before being caught by the nurse that was waiting to collect the wheelchair. No doubt so they can use it for their next patient that was _surely_ hanging around.

Not a word was spoken by TJ on the matter for the rest of their trip home. He was so embarrassed by it. He felt like a kid trying to figure out how to keep balanced on two legs all over again.

His body was healing but his ego seemed to be paying the price for it.

* * *

It was ironic how things had changed while lying in his own bed. At the hospital, all he could do was sleep. It was light fighting a war to keep his eyes opened and he lost every single time. Getting sleep now was elusive to him. The pain in his back was like an alarm clock that never turned off, ensuring that he was constantly reminded of his current situation.

He was on a prescription for oxycodone to numb the pain and was instructed to take one every 12 hours. He found that 8am and 8pm worked best to keep the schedule steady but the pain would return almost two hours before his next pill, in the worse case. This was something he _needed_ to live with now.

His friends from the home hadn't seen him yet but he messaged them and found out that they weren't allowed due to short staff and that they couldn't afford the time. They always had an excuse there it seemed. The staff were almost the new Nazi regime.

The gang, on the other hand, had seen him plenty. It was clear that they cared as they seemed to come over most nights as soon as school had ended and stayed till late. He was glad for the company since Becky had returned to work. It was lonely and there wasn't much he could do around the house, even if he wanted to.

It was on one such day where he was expecting his friends any moment that he heard the doorbell. He got up and out of his room while yelling out that he was coming. Before he made his way downstairs the door was already opened.

"Hey TJ."

"How are you today, my friend?"

"Teej, good to see ya."

TJ watched his friends enter. "I was coming to get the door, you know?"

"Figured it was easier if we used the spare key. Don't want to make you work _too_ much." Vince smiled like he just won a championship.

TJ scowled at this. It was just opening a door. He could handle that much at least. He did _not_ need a full time carer to make sure that his ass was wiped, only a few extra seconds to get whatever it needs to be done, done.

"I heard that they are playing that new zombie movie on TV as a part of the zombie marathon on today. We should definitely give it watch, you guys."

Gus was so excited. He had only recently found his new passion for horror movies and like anything, it was a full on addiction that he takes _way_ too far. Funny, considering the time he moved into old rusty.

"You know I'm always game for some blood and guts. Wish we had a zombie apocalypse so I could smash a few brain eaters myself." Spinelli sat pummelling her fists together and the sheer thought of violence.

TJ felt easy now. He would settle into his favourite spot on the couch and do nothing except pass the time with friends and some good ol' classic horror movies.

* * *

"TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!"

Mikey was a delicate soul and all of the blood and jump scares over the last two had movies finally wore him down to his breaking point. He wasn't brave in the traditional sense. Sure he stepped up when needed, which is the most important thing, but scary things and confrontations are definitely _not_ his thing.

"Woah, calm down big guy. We can change the movie if you want. It's no big deal." Vince rested a hand on Mikey's shoulder to reassure him and calm him down.

"Yeah, we can't all be tough _all_ of the time." Spin's words rang true with TJ from the moment they came out of her mouth.

Gus was now battling with the idea that his newly beloved horror movies were going to be turned off and sent an unconscious glare at Mikey before reeling himself back. In the end he knew that he wouldn't be able to enjoy the terrifying suspense now that he knew that Mikey was so afraid. Still he was slightly upset.

"How about we get some food and then we can go from there?" Gus suggested, since food was a direct route to Mikey's happiness.

At an instance the gentle giant perked up as if the food was already placed in front of him.

"Yes please."

TJ shakingly stood up at this. "I got some frozen food I can heat up. There should be plenty to go around."

"Why thank you greatly young TJ. _Nothing_ would warm my heart more."

"Too easy, Mikey." Was TJ'S reply.

Gretchen intervened. "Would you like some assistance in the preparation of the food?"

TJ winced at her offer. "No, I can handle it."

"It wouldn't be a prob…"

"I'll be back before you can say 'senor fusion'."

TJ was already hobbling towards the kitchen. He did note that his back was hurting a fair bit more than normal, but he can push through that. He only wished that he could walk normally again. It shouldn't be too long now considering how much he had improved, but the pain that was associated with it was not getting better alongside it.

TJ opened the freezer, the top part of his fridge, and looked for the food he needed. All of the small party food boxes were stacked at the back. Of course.

A smirk found its way to TJ's face as he realised what he had in front of him. A _challenge_. He was too small, still, and the food was too far from his reach. In classic TJ fashion he began to survey his surroundings. This would be easy.

He made his way to a seat in his kitchen and dragged it to the fridge. Making an attempt at climbing on top of the chair he suddenly felt a searing pain in his lower back, right where he knew his back was opened up only weeks prior. Momentarily giving up, he rubbed his sore back after groaning at the sensation. It seemed lifting his leg up too high was too much at the moment for him.

Still, he _was_ TJ. The natural born leader. He just needed a new plan. A smaller step should help him here but there wasn't much that he could use around. He thought for longer than he was proud of admitting before deciding on the foot-rest in the lounge room.

As inconspicuous as possible, TJ walked into where his friends were sitting and grabbed what he was after. On his way back to the kitchen he was stopped.

"What are you doing there, Teej?"

Spinelli sat waiting for her answer while the others looked on curiously. Of course they would have found his actions a _bit_ out of the ordinary.

"Noting. Food will be ready soon."

Everyone seemed to accept the answer. Or at least pretended to for his sake. Either of which he was happy with. At his accomplishment he went back to the task at hand, which now was proving successful as his hands were snatching up the frozen meals.

"Ok, now you gotta tell me what you're doin." Spinelli asked sternly.

There was no point making up an excuse. He was caught red handed standing on top of his makeshift staircase.

"Still haven't had my last growth spurt yet so I had to improvise." TJ tried to downplay the situation.

"Mmhmm…" She was not buying it, not one bit.

Still TJ kept up the act. "Scout's honour." TJ said as he jumped from the chair to join her at her level. Bad idea.

"Aaahhhhh!" TJ screamed.

The landing was hard on him and he _almost_ collapsed if not for Spinelli. With his arm around her for support the others had came in to see what the commotion was about.

"It's alright Teej, I got ya." Spin comforted him.

"What happened?" Vince asked on behalf of the rest of the group.

TJ was stunned. He couldn't think of _anything_ good to say while his back hurt like it did. His mind was in a slight panic due to the pain.

"He's fine. The ahh… doctor said it would play up randomly from time to time."

Letting out a breath he didn't know he had, TJ tried to play along with Spin saving him yet again.

"Need to take my… my meds." He groaned.

"You guys go sit down and I'll take care of him."

Everyone went back to as they were while Spinelli helped TJ get his painkillers from the medicine cabinet. It was actually a better excuse than he originally thought as it was actually the time he needed to take them.

"Here, have these and I'll chuck the food in the oven."

Accepting the pills reluctantly, TJ stopped her. "No. I'll finish it up."

"Teej, you're not a hundred percent yet so you just rest up."

"I get you want to help but… I can do it."

"It's _really_ no big deal, Teej." Spinelli no anxious as to why he was acting the way he was.

"It isn't. So let me finish it." He looked defeated now. "Please."

Spinelli studied him carefully. "You don't have to take on the world by yourself. Why do you still try to do everything?"

"I'm not." He replied hurriedly.

"You are and you _need_ to stop. Let yourself relax a bit. God knows you deserve it."

"Look, I didn't…" The look he was receiving from her bested him. It struck every nerve in his body all at once that he couldn't even feel the pain in his back at that moment.

"Maybe… maybe just a _little_ help bending down to turn the oven on. If you really don't mind, that is."

Spinelli smiled at his acceptance. "Anything for you, Teej."

While he resorted to watching her move around the kitchen, TJ slumped at the counter. Drinking a glass of water to help his medication go down he sighed. He was glad he had friends that cared for him so much.

Stil, it was just a _small_ meal. He _could_ have done it.

"Let's eat!" Spinelli smiled at him, leading him in to join the others.


	13. Chapter 17: It's my party

**G'day boys and girls, I'm sticking to what I said and delivering the next chapter. I know it's a bit late compared to other stories but times are busy when you're in a science lab doing your own research.**

 **To the guest that reviewed, yeah you can bet I will keep this going and thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it.**

 **With that, enjoy the read until I can get the next one out.**

 **Catch ya's**

* * *

"The pressure is too much! Something is going to go wrong!" TJ was stressed. "Maybe I shouldn't do this and just keep it small."

The gang were standing out in the school yard during recess as they watched their friend pace back and forth for hours. Out of _all_ the years that they have know him for, they have _never_ seen him lose faith in his own plan.

Let's recap, TJ turns 18 this tomorrow and with it landing on a Saturday night he wants a party. Being the final year of high school he also wants it to be especially memorable because he doesn't know if he will see most of the people at school again after this year, realistically. Although, this wasn't the big problem. It was going to be a _big_ party and he is feeling the pressure to make it the best.

Gretchen intervened in an effort to calm him. "Let us take in the facts and continue from there. How many people will actually be in attendance, approximately?"

TJ stopped himself before racking his brain for an answer. "I have no idea. It was only _supposed_ to be around 50 or 60."

"Woah, man." Spinelli laughed. "There is going to be waaayyyy more than that. I heard people talking about coming and I didn't even recognise them."

"No, no, no. Gatecrashers are _not_ good news, no way." Gus began to cower behind Mikey.

Vince rested a hand on Gus' shoulder. "It's all going to be fine. Right, Teej?"

TJ simply stared. Was it? He and Becky had talked about if he wanted a party at all during their delayed sibling night a while ago and she had 'convinced' him to have one. He's seen the parties in the movies and he wanted to actually _have_ a house at the end of the night. Sure, he's had big parties before but he knew everyone there, unlike now.

"It will be nothing we can't handle. Promise." Spinelli answered.

TJ took one look at her as she was leaning against her locker and for _some_ reason he believed her. After all, she was in control, and not just of him.

"Then may I suggest that we each take it upon ourselves to designate jobs to complete for the night?"

Mikey jumped up in haste. "I'll get the food."

TJ laughed for the first time that day. When have things _ever_ gone wrong when they're together?

* * *

After school the gang had decided to split up to complete their tasks. Mikey was going to get the food, of course, Gretchen and Gus were in charge of party decorations, Spinelli was getting alcohol from her brothers and TJ and Vince were getting the house ready. There was much to be done.

TJ was in the process of moving some coolers into his backyard, where he planned to _try_ and keep his guests. He knew that people would go inside, and the kitchen and living room were open to all, but the rest of the house was not. There has to be some privacy that he is allowed to keep throughout the night.

"Vince can you come out here and help him get just a _little_ bit excited."

TJ turned to see Becky standing in the doorway to the backyard, hands on her hips. If he did know any better he would have thought it was _her_ birthday. Everything TJ and Vince were doing now was an order that came down from her and her alone. She didn't even try to give an excuse because she 'loves a good party and it's been too long'. Can't argue with that logic.

Vince yelled from inside the house, no doubt moving some of the tables and chairs around, "I'm with Teej on this one. How can we get excited when we are being treated like slaves? I don't even live here."

"Because…" Becky turned around and headed back into the house to give her many good reasons to why an 18th party has to be _perfect_. A talk that TJ was glad they were going to have inside.

After rearranging the outside furniture, by request, TJ went back inside the house to either save Vince or watch him complain even more. Fortunately, he found Becky in her work uniform about to head off for her night shift which meant they were finally about to achieve peace.

"Alright, I told Vince so I'll tell you TJ. Snacks can be left on the kitchen bench and any drinks can go into the fridge for now and we can get some ice in the morning." Walking out to her car she continued to ramble to herself. "And I swear if I come back and this place is a mess then… it would _not_ end well. Bye, love you and have fun."

TJ and Vince shared a look of relief as their captor had finally granted them freedom.

TJ was first to speak. "Video games?"

"For sure." Vince gave his reply eagerly.

Just then the others all came in from the street. Each had armfuls of whatever they were sent to retrieve, minus Gretchen who had _seemingly_ let Gus do all of the heavy lifting for her. It was probably why she wanted one of the boys to go with her in the first place. She was a woman of science, not a muscle junkie.

"How did you guys get here all at the same time?" Vince curiously asked.

"Me and my bro passed them on the way here from getting the goods." Spinelli raised her arm to show them all that they were ready to party. "The rest is in Vito's car so we can all go and grab it now if we want."

TJ was beginning to wonder why they only had a few bags each if they were planning to accommodate for such a large group. He was certain that Mikey would have filled a trolley with ease.

Vince stopped them. "I'd _love_ to hang a bit longer but I have training tonight, man. I got to head home and get my gear but I'll be back around in the morning."

The gang had no issue with Vince leaving them. There were more than enough hands to help out and most of the work had already been finished. Carrying everything into the house was simple. A couple of trips each and they were all set.

The night quickly turned into them lying around on the couch until they all eventually had to head home for the night. Spinelli, of course, was the last to leave. She insisted they have a couple of the drinks because she 'brought enough that it wouldn't matter'.

They both had been sitting at the kitchen bench for the last 30 minutes talking about mundane topics.

"So what time are we all coming back over tomorrow?"

TJ was taken back. "I didn't think _you_ needed permission to come over whenever you want."

Spinelli it him lightly on the shoulder.

"Ow, come on Spin." TJ faked being hurt before laughing. "I do need to pick up some friends before we start hanging, I told them that they can come."

"I'll come with."

TJ loved she was willing to give up her time for him. He finally felt like things were falling into place.

"I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to."

Spinelli made a fart noise at him, blowing off his concerns. "If I didn't want to then I wouldn't have offered. Unless you're going to do some drug deal then I'll have to pass."

TJ wanted to laugh but found that he couldn't even force it out.

"No, _nothing_ like that. I'd like the company."

"Then it's settled."

* * *

The next morning TJ awoke with ease, and _that's_ saying something. He was usually the type of person that would sleep until he felt guilty enough about wasting the day that he forced himself out of bed. Last night he barely slept from the excitement and that has apparently carried over onto the morning.

Spinelli had followed through with her word and had arrived early to go with TJ, who has now told her that he is picking up his friends from the home. The plan was to go by bus but the pile of rust that Spinelli called a car has been restored back to its _semi_ working condition.

The awkward silence that once filled the space between them had _long_ been forgotten as they both travelled to the home. TJ watched Spinelli focus on the road ahead of her as she drove her pride and joy.

"I can't believe you're gonna be letting me hang out with your _other_ friends."

TJ was drawn out of his gaze brought his attention back to the conversation.

"Yeah, well… It's been a while and a realised that I've been keeping you guys to myself, and that's just not fair."

Spinelli blushed slightly. "You do have to learn to share, Detweiler."

"I do share." He retorted. "Doesn't mean that I have to share _everything_ though, doesn't it?"

Spinelli glanced at him in thought. She had a pretty good idea of what… _who_ he didn't want to share. She reached out for his hand but, as if removing her hand from the steering wheel was a trigger, the car began to splutter and roll to an abrupt stop.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

Spinelli was furious. If you had looked close enough you would have been able to see the smoke fuming from her ears. He _would have_ offered to help her with the car but TJ knew that he was hopeless when it came to stuff like this. Instead he tried his best to calm her down with interesting results.

With a huff Spinelli got out of the car to investigate under the hood, with TJ in tow. Not even five seconds later she closed it up and locked the car.

"I give up. It's not even worth _trying_ to fix anymore. Let's go."

"Spin, are you sure you want to leave it here all day?"

Without looking back Spin continued to talk. "No, I'll probably leave it there longer than that. And besides, who's going to steal it?" Spinelli snorted at her own joke.

TJ was left to agree and ran to catch up with her, walking at her side.

She finally turned to face him. "So how long until we get there?"

Taking in his surroundings, TJ got his bearings. "I'd have to guess around ten minutes."

They continued to walk quietly before TJ decided to make a move. Slowly and subtly he walked closer and closer to her side before sneaking his hand in hers and syncing his walking with hers. Even though she said nothing on the act, a smile crept onto her face until they arrived at their destination.

Spinelli had never spent much time near the home but it would always send chills down her spine at the look of it, knowing what it was and represented. The worst part about it for her was that TJ onced called it home. _That_ she couldn't come to terms with.

The couple entered through the main doors to find Stuart, Isaac, Oliver and Kai all waiting in the foyer. They all erupted with joy at TJ's arrival before noticing the plus one.

"Who's this?" Isaac pointed out.

The rest followed his gaze to Spinelli who now felt strangely out of place.

"Guys, this is Spinelli. She is my best friend and _was_ going to be our lift until a certain incident."

Spinelli felt the eyes of these boys searching her over, trying to figure out if they like, or whether or not to even try and like her. She looked at TJ in an effort to get his attention but he was talking to one of the guys.

"I will admit that my car breaking down is not to good but I'm sure you won't mind the bus." She finally spoke.

She heard a laugh from one of the boys. "Hell, I'll carry _you_ back to TJ's if it means getting out of _here_." Oliver said, amusing himself.

"Alright everyone, let's get going." TJ finally decided to rescue her.

She wasn't sure why she felt so uneasy around these people. Being out of her comfort zone always scared her slightly despite her efforts to hide it. It was the same when she entered a beauty pageant a few years back.

TJ ushered them all out into the streets with the others promising to come home by curfew, which they all knew they wouldn't. No matter, TJ didn't care as long as they would join him for the night.

* * *

Over the following few hours there was nothing really happening. The rest of the old gang arrived around the same time the others got home, they got the house ready and then got themselves ready. Vince, Mikey and Gus had brought a bag each full of clothes to change into, since they were going to be staying. The other boys did have to get back to the home eventually and were happy with their looks. Gretchen had dragged Spinelli across the front yard back to her house so that they could do all the _girly_ things that is required before a party, to Spinelli's disgust.

Isaac, sitting on the couch, grabbed TJ's attention. "Man, I didn't know she was the 'girl-next-door' type situation."

This grabbed the attention of the other guys in the room. There wasn't any more work to be done and people would be arriving soon so they had time for talks like this, apparently.

"She _does_ live next door I guess." TJ retorted, getting a few laughs.

"I think you know what I mean." Isaac smirked.

"Oh, he definitely does." Vince decided that he wanted to be a part of this.

"So that's his ladyfriend?"

"Kai!" TJ was ambushed. "We are just friends. I think it's fine that we are."

"Do 'just friends' hold hands while they walk to come pick us up?" Isaac's grin now reached around from one ear to the other.

"Is that so?" Mikey wrapped himself up in his own arms. "That is simple beautiful and so romantic."

"No, Mikey."

"We _did_ see it through the window." Stuart had finally given his input.

TJ was trapped by the words of his friends. Anything he did or didn't say would imply an answer that he didn't want to give.

By the luck of fate, the doorbell rang and the first guests had arrived. With a sigh of relief, TJ almost ran to the door and after letting in the mob of people who all arrived together, seemingly drunk already. Mikey soon came up behind TJ.

"Don't worry TJ, it will be a good night."

"I'm sure it will too, big guy."

"Oh, well yea the party should be good too."

"What?" TJ was now confused by the words of the friendly giant.

Mikey bent down to whisper to him. "I _will_ be your wingman."

Great, this was _exactly_ what he wanted. A wingman.

The night ran smoothly. It eventually got to the stage where people were getting loud and losing any shyness that they brought with them. While TJ talked a big game, he barely drank much. Too many times things got out of control for him and now he was going to be in charge of himself, and good thing too.

The old hustler kid had just walked in. He was one the people _not_ invited tonight. TJ wasted no time in confronting this intruder.

"What are you doing _here_ Francis?"

"TJ, my _friend_ , I'm here to celebrate your birthday is all."

"You _know_ you weren't invited, why come?"

They were gathering a bit of a crowd that were waiting for some sort of drama to unfold. Everyone remembers the fight between TJ and Lawson and expected a similar event. It was something TJ did not want to repeat after knowing how disappointed his friends were. Instead he played nice. While there weren't has many gatecrashers as the rumours claimed there would be, there was enough people around to make him conscious about how he acted.

"If you are going to stay then please just be respectful."

"On my honour." The two shook hands, to everyone's disappointment, and went their separate ways.

"What was _that_ about?"

TJ turned. "Nothing Spin, it's all fine."

"What did _he_ want?" She was worried for him.

"I wish I knew. Wanna get a drink with me?"

TJ changed the subject so that he would be able to enjoy his night, and Spinelli liked the sound of that idea. The house was dark now with different coloured lights lighting up various areas around the house. He could smell the alcohol heavily and ,even worse, he could feel the stickiness of it under his feet, He was glad that he had floorboards and not carpet.

Before long the old gang were all together and laughing about old memories. It felt right to be with them. All the work over the past few days for the night to come together, and the past few months to bring the gang back together are finally giving the rewards.

"Hey man." Came a slurred voice. TJ turned to find Oliver stumbling toward him. "Let's have a chugging contest."

"I don't know if that's the _best_ idea."

"I believe TJ would love to join in."

TJ's head turned around so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash. "Mikey! Why do you want me drinking so much?"

Mikey shrugged. "Just to loosen you up." He winked.

"C'mon, it will be…. Fun." Oliver was now up against TJ trying to show enough affection until he caved. And he did.

"Okay, fine. Only _one_."

"YESSSS!" Oliver cheered. "Everyone in. You too _nextdoor girl_."

Oliver began making a row of drinks when Spinelli came up to join TJ and Mikey. Mikey was first to spot her and promptly left because he 'needed to go to the toilet'.

"I thought you were taking it easy?"

TJ nodded. "I guess a couple won't hurt, will it?"

She put her hand on his arm. "I trust you."

Oliver then collected them and forced a drink into each of their hands as they finished it in one giant gulp. Vince looked like he was about to throw up and Mikey's drink still sat there full.

"We forgot to wait for Mikey." TJ exclaimed.

"I think I saw him outside." Gus said.

"Yo, monkey boy."

That sounded like… yep, Hustler kid.

"Can I help you?" TJ asked, sarcasm seeping from his voice.

"Can we talk… in private?"

TJ thought hard before agreeing and leading Francis into his bedroom upstairs.

"This better be good."

"It is. I think we could start our deal up again."

Anger reached him quickly. How dare he bring this up now. After he had let him stay at his party.

"You know that won't happen." TJ's jawline was visibly tense and his whole body was rigid.

"You look _tense_ , maybe a little bit of _oxy_?"

" _Get. Out. Francis_."

"Damn, you are gonna need a bit more to take off that edge."

"I'm not taking anything from you. I'm over my pain so just _leave_."

"Okay. I'll leave. Lucky for you, you've already had a strong dose. You know, to get you back into it." TJ froze at this. "You've probably already started feeling it, you're welcome. Bye."

Hustler kid left TJ alone in his room with his thoughts. He collapsed on his bed and almost wanted to cry. Cry because he _hated_ what the drug caused him to lose and angry because he still _likes_ it.

TJ was slowly letting go of the reality around him, it isn't called 'hillbilly heroin' for nothing. He felt so relaxed and it vision started to blur into nothing. Suddenly his door opened and he heard a voice ask what Hustler kid wanted but soon disappeared. He fell blissfully asleep in his bed.

* * *

His eyes fluttered open slowly to the harsh sunlight in his room. He crawled out of bed over the course of 40 minutes and as he walked down the steps he heard nothing but silence.

Until he heard Mikey. "TJ, are you _ok_. I saw Hustler kid spike you through the window but you couldn't hear me."

"What are you talking…" TJ stopped as he remembered what happened, what he _felt_ last night.

"I checked on you all night but you were out of it."

" _Please, no_." TJ put his head in his hands and didn't move.

Mikey cleared his throat before hesitantly speaking again.

"TJ?"

He looked up at Mikey who could now see the tears in his eyes.

"They all _saw_ you and they _don't_ believe me."

TJ starred with his glassy eyes. He's never hated himself more than this moment. He blamed himself even though _he_ was a victim. He blamed _his_ lack of control and he blamed _his_ need to be nice to a drug dealer.

He was back where he started.


	14. Chapter 8: Ordinary

**Hey guys, next chapter is here. I know it took a while so I made it a bit longer than usual, as you do. Thanks again to you all for coming back and reading this little thing of mine.**

 **Let me know what you think of it so far. It's funny how much the writing has improved so far, in my opinion.**

 **Anyways, enjoy and catch ya later.**

* * *

Things were beginning to look up again for TJ. From an unknowing eye, he appeared as if he had never been injured in the first place. He was booked in today to remove the stitches in his back that the surgery had left him with.

He was sitting on his front steps waiting for Spinelli, who _insisted_ she wanted to come with him. They had a while to to travel to get to the hospital and she was _definitely_ taking her time with getting ready. TJ impatiently began to fiddle with his hands, tapping his fingers together and stringing together a basic beat that went along with the singing in his head.

His melodic bea in his head was soon broken with what sounded like a gorilla trying to be intimidating. The grumbling yell got closer and closer until it turned the corner into his street and pulled up in front of _his_ house.

"Getting in?" A tough, yet girly, voice called at him.

Squinting in an effort to gain a better look at the driver of whatever this _thing_ was, he saw her sitting there.

"Spinelli! You got a _car_?"

She all but jumped out of the front seat to greet him. "You're damn right. Isn't she a beauty?"

TJ observed the car in all of its glory. It wasn't much. No matter, Spinelli seemed to love it and he was _not_ going to dampen her mood. Besides, it was a car!

"You bought this yourself?"

She acted insulted. "Is that so hard to believe?" She asked with a hand holding onto her 'broken' heart.

"No, no, no. Of course not." TJ retorted defensively. "If you're my new lift around town then this is my new favourite car."

Spinelli had never been so proud of herself in her life. She had saved for months to afford this car and she did it all by herself. She had spent most of her time awake trying to convince her parents to put money into it, like she heard other parents have offered their children, but she had been getting flat out refused.

"Then stop gawking at it and let's take it for a spin!"

In an instant Spinelli was pushing TJ into her new car before setting off down the blacktop. With TJ now secured in the passenger seat, she ran around the front of the car with an enthusiasm only Spinelli could pull off. It wasn't girlish but it was not her usual stomping, it was _different_.

With the turn of the key it came alive. TJ didn't think the car was perfect but it was good enough to get to where it needs to go. The car pulled out from the curb and began the journey for the day.

"So… What do you think, Teej?"

TJ sat back as he thought about the ride he was currently on.

"If I had to complain about one thing, it would be the driver." He laughed as he received a small hit on the arm.

"Shut up! I am one the _best_ drivers you know."

TJ mumbled slightly. "But I don't know _that_ many."

"Oh, oh, oh!" Spinelli maniacally laughed. "You've done it now."

"I'm sorry. I give up." TJ surrendered before the wrath he knew was coming hit him.

"You're just lucky that I'm not in a fighting mood at the moment."

"You not wanting to fight?" TJ was surprised. "Maybe _you_ need to go to the hospital and not me."

Spinelli puffed. "Pass. Maybe next time."

They had arrived at the hospital car park, which seemed to be pretty full. As they drove around they drove over a speed hump and it seemingly shook the whole car down to its frame.

"Ahh." TJ winced at the sudden jolt while holding his back.

"Are you ok?" Spinelli instantly turned her attention to him.

The up and down movement had put added pressure on his back and reminded him why he was even trying to find a car park in the first place.

"Yeah, don't worry 'bout it. Just a bit sore."

Spinelli sank her head into her shoulders and gripped her steering wheel tighter between her fingers.

"It is getting better though, isn't it?"

"Of course it is. That's why we are here."

The two had finally found a park and they both seemed to waste no time in making there way to the entrance of the hospital. Not before paying the overpriced parking meter, especially after seeing the parking inspector making his way from the other side of the carpark. Her first drive was _not_ going to get her a ticket.

"C'mon Teej, hurry up."

"I'm coming." He would have been quicker if getting out of the car wasn't such a weird angle for his back, a concern he wasn't going to raise up with the owner herself.

"I thought _I_ was the one that was meant to be excited for this." TJ laughed with her.

The two walked hand-in-hand into the hospital. They didn't let go of each other until TJ had to be alone. The doctor preferred to have no onlookers.

* * *

Several days later, school was back on for another week. Currently it was a Thursday morning and the gang were catching up before going to their separate classes. It still amazed them how strong they were as friends, when most expected high school to tear them apart.

Each and every one of them enjoyed their time together as they seemed to bounce conversations between them so naturally despite how uniquely different they were to each other.

The bell suddenly rang loudly through their ears, realising that they were standing beneath one of the loudspeakers, signifying the _end_ of their little time together.

Before walking off, TJ heard a voice call him. "TJ, wait."

"We have to get to class, Gus."

The military man stood solidly in front of his friend as if being addressed by a superior officer at his military camp.

"I know, but _I think_ we should do something this weekend. A bonding exercise to celebrate you getting better. We do them at camp all the time whenever something bothers a cadet, and I _swear_ it works every time."

TJ wanted to smile. Instead his face displayed a sense of hurt at Gus' words. This was quickly replaced by a genuine smile that showed nothing but respect for his friend.

"That sounds like a good plan Gus. We don't have to do anything _too_ crazy though. Maybe we could go to Kelso's or something like that. Something chill, you know?"

Gus began to jump around like a little kid on Christmas morning. "Oh I know it is going to be great. Trust me, Teej, it is going to be _awesome_."

"Sure, you're the boss. Now we _have_ to go to class before I get _another_ lecture about being on time."

Gus didn't seem to hear him. "Me! The boss!"

"Yes Gus." TJ placed his hands on Gus' shoulder in an attempt to ground him back to reality. "You've done well for a new kid but now we _have_ to get going. Okay?"

Gus shook his head and straightened out his posture into a perfect straight edge.

"Yes, sir. I'll see you at recess."

TJ shook his head in amusement at his friend. "See you then."

TJ quickly checked the time and… he was _definitely_ late.

* * *

The day was a blur. Time had slowed down to almost a stop and all of the content throughout each class had molded into one giant pot of uselessness.

TJ was lucky he was in class with Vince. They were competing with each other to see who could flick a folded piece of paper into the bin the most. It was surprisingly a close match between the two. The paper kept unfolding in mid-air and was causing the shots to go all over the place no matter how hard the boys tried.

"LaSalle! That is _enough_ of those games. Detweiler, I also _expect_ you to not participate in such things." The old bag that taught this class was one of those unnecessarily angry types. "This is a business class and there is _zero_ tolerance for tomfoolery while I'm here. Now back to the lesson."

"Damn, that was uncalled for." TJ whispered to Vince the moment the living skeleton at the front of the room turned her back on them again.

This earnt TJ a quizzical eyebrow raise as a response. "Are you kidding? You were just a participant according to the devil."

TJ's face scrunched up as he looked down into his hands. "You're telling me. I was late _again_ this morning, and you remember _last time_ that happened and how bad that was. But when I got in there she just told me to sit and that she wasn't reteaching what I missed. I know people are taking it easy on me."

"What are you complaining about? I would do anything to get out of trouble like that."

"It's not like that Vince. It's hard to explain."

Vince snickered at his best friend. "You have _much_ to learn young Theodore…"

"LaSalle! Again, really?" Their conversation had been heard again, only Vince's last words it seems. "Do _not_ make me inform your coach about you behaviour."

TJ attempted to intervene. "Miss, it was my…"

"Sorry Miss, it won't happen again."

Vince slowly turned to face his friend after taking the fall. "You lucky bastard."

* * *

"You have got to be the unluckiest person in the world."

A high pitched voice resonated around TJ's ears as he took in the pinkness in front of him, the head Ashley. TJ was simply _trying_ to walk home when the brand new, little convertible pulled up next to him.

"And how is that, Ashley?"

"Well, like, you have to walk when you could _totally_ get a lift from me. We could drive around for as long as _we_ want."

"I'm sorry Ashley." And he genuinely was. "I don't have the time to drive around tonight as much as I _really_ want to."

"I thought driving around was so your thing. I see you and the _fake_ Ashley always driving together."

Ashley A continued to drive walking pace along the sidewalk and would speed up or slow down whenever TJ tried to subtly change his speed, as best as he could against a car.

"She just helps me get around. And tonight she's _not_ doing that because I have somewhere to be tonight. Maybe next time."

"Jump in and I can help you _get there_. Wherever it is you're going."

It was becoming tiring how persistent this girl was. Looking up ahead, TJ spotted a small park that connected the street he was on to the next one over. From the moment he saw it he new his chance had came.

Reaching the park he began to turn into it, following the path. "Well, I'll be seeing you around, Ashley."

Coming to an unexpected stop, her tires almost leaving their mark on the road beneath them, she eyed him like a lion watching from the tall grass. "I do hope so. I'm sure there will be _plenty_ of free time and parties we can _get together_ at."

"Can't wait. Bye."

TJ walked deeper into the park and took in the sound of silence. The park wasn't the usual open area with a playground sitting in the centre of it. It was more of a protected area. The trees were dense and the grass was long. The only clearing through was the path he was currently on that zig-zagged up a hill.

TJ took his hands out of his pockets as he walked. It helped him to keep up the pace up the steep hill. It wasn't steep enough where he struggled to reach the top, but where his calves would slightly burn at the extra work they were being forced complete. It was because of this terrain that he _usually_ walked to the end of the street he was on.

After a seemingly long 30 seconds or so he had reached the top of the hill and the next street on top of it. Although he didn't think it, it _must_ have been a while since TJ had taken that hill. Walking along the flat ground again, he straightened himself upright to try and breath in more air after being puffed out so quickly. He then realised that it actually _hurt_ him.

He kept walking in his quietened pain but it was _not_ getting any better. He took off his backpack and began to rummage through it in search of something in particular. He pulled out his pills and read the label on it carefully. He checked the time, already knowing it was too early for them. He stood still for a while, contemplating his choices, before taking the one he would have later tonight, he would skip it and get back on schedule in the morning.

He pushed through on his way home. He would be _better_ soon.

* * *

The weekend could not have come soon enough for the gang. The sun was out and there weren't too many clouds in the sky, just enough to make out shapes if you looked for them.

Everyone had met up at Kelso's for a quick lunch before they all were dragged away to wherever Gus had organised whatever thing he was doing. It was rare for Gus to take such control of the gang so they were all happy to follow him.

The friends lost track of time almost instantly when they sat down in their usual spot. The seats have the impressions in them from where they sat so often, though it probably isn't _all_ from them, they still believed it was _their_ asses that the seats now remembered.

"Alright, everyone up." Gus stood straight in front of the small booth they occupied, holding an air of authority about him.

The others were slow to react as they gathered their rubbish, they _never_ left a mess at Kelso's, and if you looked hard enough, formed a single file behind their leader-for-a-day. They began down the street together as they headed for an unknown destination.

The journey was filled with laughter and the usual small talk that is so common between best friends.

"How are you feeling, TJ?" Gretchen had slowed down so that she was walking next to TJ now, leaving Vince with Mikey.

"Honestly… I'm still hurting a bit. I thought it would have been good by now."

It was not long now until the prescription was going to end and, if the doctor's words meant anything, he should be 'back to normal'.

"Hmmm, I believe our opinions line up. _Stitching removal_ is truly only a minor procedure, like getting a splinter taken out."

"Ummm, yeah. I know, right. It's probably just me being a bit sensitive to it."

Gretchen stared into her glasses while she comprehended on TJ's words. "I concur. Do not fret, however, I am positive it will mend in due time."

The only remnants of his stitches was the scar that they helped to heal. Even on the day that he had them taken out TJ had _not_ felt _anything_ , and it was still the same feeling now.

"Do you know where we are going by any chance?" TJ now led the conversation with the genius.

"Well, if I had to deduce a possible destination, I would say another place from our younger years. We _are_ heading towards third street and the plentiful areas that we once frequented for joy."

TJ couldn't help but be fascinated by Gretchen's use of words. She made having fun as a kid sound like she was a robot that needed a certain amount of time a week spent performing different activities. Like she was a video game character. It was _completely_ out of ordinary for anyone else her age, but it was normal for _her_.

Minutes later they had come to a sudden stop, courtesy of the military man's abrupt standstill.

"Here we are!" Gus said calmly and he simply stood in front of the school playground in front of him.

"Oh joy, I do love this place." Mikey was first to speak.

"What are we doing here? Out of _all_ the places to go you chose Third Street?" Spinelli didn't move her gaze from the their old school while questioning Gus' choice.

Gus' posture now began to lose its rigidity. "I thought we could hang out here like we used to."

"Gus…" Vince broke in. "We _can't_ break into an elementary school."

"It's not breaking in, really. I still know the way in to the sixth grader's club."

It turns out, that was all the persuading that was needed to convince the gang to sneak back into their old school. They all ran around the playground as if they were still in the fourth grade. Going down the slide, sitting on the swings, swinging on the monkey bars, tetherball… the sky was their limit.

Before long they tired out and moved below ground into the secret club room hidden from all sight.

"So how is that concert ticket thing coming along, Vince?"

"Pretty good, Teej. I think we are gonna win this thing hands down."

The whole gang were sitting around in bean bags or on luxury couches. This place has clearly been upgraded since they last saw it.

Gus yawned from over in a corner. "I hope we win. Imagine if we all get free tickets to the biggest event that has _ever_ happened in this town."

"Gus, I believe that may be an exaggeration on your part. I can think of several, _much larger_ community orientated events that would surpass the grandness of a simple concert."

"Gretchen is right. But it is going to be _awesome_!" Spinelli pumped her fists into the air around her, as if she was fighting a ghost.

Vince returned to the question he was first asked. "Either way. We are going to get a call in the next few days to answer whatever questions they have. Gretchen has been helping me out a bit with general knowledge stuff. There is no way we can lose."

"Sounds cool, Vince."

It was getting late and everyone was beginning to get hungry. They lost track of time so easily when they were held up underground. And in a room that didn't have a clock for whatever reason. They could have checked their phones for the time but there was _way_ better things to do with _each other_ than look at a phone.

Once it began to dawn on them all that they would soon be leaving each other, the mood became somber. No one wanting to be the one to speak and initiate _that_ conversation.

"How about before we all have to go home, we can hang back outside again?"

Everyone turned to look at Gus. It was clear that he wanted his day to go as good as it could get. Worry was written on his face. He was not scared of his friends ditching him, not at this point in his life, but he deeply wanted the night to last longer.

"Sure, Gus. Let's do it." Vince spoke for the _whole_ gang.

This time, they were not as robust as they explored the jungle gym. Mikey and Gretchen were barely moving at all and instead chose the cheese block as a seat. TJ was happy on the swings. He was able to just sit there without putting too much pressure on himself, and with Vince with him he was happy to hang.

He looked around the playground to survey his friends. Each one contempt with how the night had unfolded, thanks to Gus. Speaking of Gus, he was sitting in 'Old' Rusty with Spinelli. It was a _familiar_ spot to him and even more so with Spinelli sitting there. TJ couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. She was most likely giving some friendly advice and trying to convince him to go home… or was that something she only did for _him_?

The staring probably lasted too long when Spinelli's eyes found his. At first her eyebrows creased at seeing him watching her before a blush crept onto her cheeks. She smiled and left his gaze to return to talking to Gus. At that moment her smile faded and she gave a look back to TJ that he couldn't identify. She almost looked _guilty_.

Shaking it off, he kept swinging with Vince until the time came where they had to leave.

* * *

As usual, there were two people left walking together. Was _that_ the perk of living so close.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah, I did. What about you Spin?"

Spinelli put her hands into her jacket pockets and slouched ever so slightly into herself. "It was nice."

TJ nodded in agreement before a hand slithered into his. How did it fit so _perfectly_?

"Are you _sure_ you were ok? I mean, I saw that you seemed a bit held back so I just want to make sure…"

"Yes, Spin." TJ stopped walking, which in turned stop the owner of the hand he possessed. "Look, I promise, I'm all good."

Spinelli bit her bottom lip. "Alright. But you'd let me know if…"

"Spin, please stop."

Their hands lost each others grip as they pulled apart. TJ's remained exactly where they were while Spinelli's folded across her chest.

"Look, all I'm saying is usually you are heaps louder and I remembered the last time we were there together. I'm _trying_ to help you."

"I know. Trust me, I know. Spin, I appreciate _everything_ you do and you know that. I am just a bit tired and I'd rather not bring all _this_ up tonight."

A silent understanding befell them both and they continued their walk back down their street. They walked close together side by side but only just weren't touching. They reached Spin's house first and they both stopped at the beginning of her driveway.

"Are you free tomorrow? We _could_ do something if you'd like."

The little girl that lived deep within Spinelli crawled her way to the surface at hearing those words.

"Of course I'm free. Book me in."

"Cool, I'll come round in the morning."

The two leaned into each other for a meaningful kiss goodnight before Spinelli went inside, leaving TJ to walk the short distance back to his own house.

He entered to find Becky asleep on the couch, clearly she dropped the moment she got home. He would wake her up after he cooks up some food for the both of them. With a heavy sigh TJ moved to his room to put his stuff away then went to the bathroom medicine cabinet. He swallowed his pill and went back to the kitchen.

Maybe he would make an omelet?


	15. Chapter 18: Relapse

**Hey again. Next chapter is up so hope you like it. Can't believe this story is still being followed by so many people even after all this time. Every time I get an email about anything related to this it surprises me heaps.**

 **Until next time, have a good read while I write the next bit for you fellas.**

* * *

The house was quiet. There were drink cups laying around everywhere, food left out had turned stale and he didn't dare look at the floor.

Standing in the doorway to the kitchen, to best survey the mess, TJ wished things had gone differently for a party the was _meant_ to the one of the best. Being 18 now mean he was an adult and responsible for his own choices.

Was _it_ his fault?

TJ grabbed the garbage bags from under his sink and started with the kitchen bench. Most things passed the test for being thrown in the trash and that meant that the bag filled up quickly in his hands.

He dragged the bag outside to throw it in the bin and almost thanked God for letting his front yard stay clean. His time allowed to steal glances at the house a few doors down that seemed as quiet as his house.

Sadness was replaced with anger. TJ threw the bag at the bin, knocking it over, and ran his hands through his hair. His _better_ judgement forced him to pick it back up again, force the rubbish bag into it and slam the bin back against the wall that it usually sat in front of.

He stormed back inside, mumbling to himself the whole way, find Mikey coming downstairs after clearly just getting out of bed, they both went back to sleep after Mikey first tried explaining the situation. He was the only one to stay the night out of the gang. TJ didn't know when people left but he knew who stayed.

"I'm sorry, Mikey."

"Oh, TJ, it is _not_ a fault of your own. I saw what Francis did. I'm sorry I could not have helped sooner. I tried but you had vanished before I could do anything."

"No, it was me." TJ was determined to set things straight. "I trusted him enough to let him stay. I let him walk around. I should have kicked him out the moment he knocked on the door. Hell, I should've kicked the shit out of him for what he did."

Mikey took pity on his friend. "Violence is _never_ the answer. It is best if…"

"Are you joking?" TJ only stared at the tranquil giant. "He fucked up _everything_. Look around. Where is everyone?"

Mikey took a step back at the harshness of TJ's voice. "They are most likely processing everything about last night…"

"Look, Mikey. Don't feel like you _have_ to stay. I'm just gonna clean up the rest of the house."

"I _can_ help, if you want. I'm not leaving today until..."

"It's just cleaning, Mikey. It will be fine."

Mikey figured it best to give TJ some space. Sometimes people need their space to work through things on their own. If he's _wrong_ , it could be even more damaging to leave him alone. What else could he do but leave?

"I'll go find my stuff."

Of course the way he was handling it wasn't right. TJ needed a friend but he didn't know what good they'd be at this moment. He went to gather another bag for more rubbish and started clearing out the living room, which didn't last long.

Before he knew it, TJ was sitting on the couch, hunched over with his head in his hands, waiting for some sort of answer to his problems to enter his head. He would have to be honest. Like Mikey said, it wasn't _really_ his fault. He can just explain it to them and it would be fine.

What if that didn't work. TJ changed positions so that he was lying stretched out on the couch and looking up at the ceiling, still a plain white. How _lucky_ the roof was to be so high up above the mess of the party to come out looking as good as it did the night before.

The sound of the door closing brought TJ back to reality. Did Mikey just _leave_? How could he not have seen him pass him and how long was he waiting for him to acknowledge him?

He was getting out of touch. He needed to finish cleaning so he can fix other messes in his personal life.

* * *

What was worst? Sure, school was a complete drag sometimes but it was always manageable. TJ had woken up late so he had missed getting his name marked off on the roll and got an earful from the teacher about how 'learning to be punctual will help him in his future career.' Again, it was manageable.

It was when his friends didn't talk to him that ticked him off. Not in P.E. class with Vince, not in science with Gretchen or Gus and _definitely_ not with any of them during English. Out at recess and lunch he couldn't even _find_ them at their usual spot.

Now that the day was over he _knew_ they would have to leave through the main gate. He practically threw his stuff in his locker to make sure he was there before they would be. He picked his spot and waited for his _friends_ to appear.

"Hey, cool party last weekend."

"TJ, my man."

"Drinks on me next time."

TJ remained unmoving as people passed him. He didn't even know some of the people that were saying he had a good party. Did _that many_ people actually sneak in.

Who cares… Here they come, Vince and Gus.

"Hey guys what's…" TJ watched them absentmindedly walk straight past him as he shrank back into himself slowly, at the lack of a response. "... up?"

TJ looked on as they just kept walking away from the school. In a flash back to reality, TJ ran to catch back up to the two of them. Not that they were running to get away from him.

"What's the deal you guys?"

If the voice wasn't so recognisable then you wouldn't have realised Vince started speaking by how _little_ effort he put into it. "Don't act like you don't know."

He jumped in front of them so that they had to stop and talk to him.

"What are you guys on about?"

TJ looked at them individually and saw a look of complete and utter sadness written all over Gus. The guy refused to look TJ in the eye while he was forced to deal with _whatever_ this was.

No one seemed to want to answer him. Surely someone had something to say otherwise this was all pointless.

"We all saw you with your hustler friend."

Was Vince saying what he thought he was saying. Did they _really_ think he was _friends_ with that lying drug dealer. TJ wanted to laugh but was stopped at the blank stares he was receiving from the people he thought he was closest to, both of them unmoving from their position.

"Guys, I didn't do _anything_. I was spiked."

"You went back on your word." Gus moved forward towards TJ, pushing past the taller Vince. "You promised all of us and now we are right back where we started. If you were our _friend_ you would tell us the _truth_ , right now."

"I promise, Gus. I promise to all of the gang. He put something in my drink. Mikey saw it all."

Vince cut in. "Of course Mikey is going to try help. Stop taking advantage of his friendship and own up to what you did."

TJ wanted so badly to either ignore it all or just walk away but his feet felt as if they had fused to the ground beneath him. If there was ever a master plan needed then this was definitely the time for it to come popping out of his head.

"I can prove it. I will show you that it was never meant to happen. Hell, I didn't even want him in my house."

"But he _was_. You let him in and then disappeared with him." Vince sounded so hurt at having to say those words.

"Guys…" TJ pleaded with them. "I _wouldn't_ do that."

"Just go, Teej. We're _leaving_."

There was nowhere to go but back home. He didn't even have the motivation to make it to his room, but instead collapsed on the couch as he tried to process everything. Thoughts raced around his head as he tried desperately to focus on one thing at a time. Eventually exhaustion hit him and he slowly felt the comfort of sleep take over him.

* * *

A new day brought a new determination. TJ has slept for what felt like weeks and when he woke up, it was all so clear to him now. He just needed to _wait_. Mikey would tell all of them the truth. They mustn't of had time to talk together _yet_ and the more that TJ tried to intervene, the more they would distrust what Mikey would say. It was a fair point that Mikey would stick up for TJ even if he was wrong, but he _wasn't_ , and Mikey _doesn't_ need to lie at all.

The rest of the morning followed the normal routine. It was going to be a bit lonelier for a day or two but that was nothing in the grand scheme of things. _Normally_ , Spin would drive him in to school and they would talk until they were completely caught up on everything in their lives, even if they last saw each other the night before. _Nothing_ was too much for them.

TJ left for school a bit earlier due to the current situation between them. Her car was still parked in her driveway and that was fine for now. It was as he was walking through the carpark out the front of the school that he saw that same car again, with the driver still in it. He _has_ to say something, right? If he didn't then he would definitely look guilty. And he was _not_.

"Hey Spin."

As TJ walked up to her at the car he was greeted with nothing but a quick glare.

"So, uhh… I guess you got the car working again?"

TJ shuffled under her watch. "Only temporary. I give it another couple hours."

"Well, I can help out if…"

"Don't." TJ quickly took a step back at being cut off. "Just don't, TJ."

"You know that I wouldn't…"

"What _do_ I know?" She paused, looking around as if the words she wanted were floating in the sky around her head. "I _know_ I saw you drugged after you were with Hustler kid. I _know_ I forgave you for this type of thing once already, and I _know_ that was a mistake. I _thought_ I knew you wouldn't have done that ever, especially when it involved _lying_ to me, but you surprised me there.?

TJ's eyes began to water up. "I _promise_. It wasn't my fault, Spin."

Spinelli huffed with a puzzled expression. "Empty promises. It's all I heard for so long. I cared for you, really. I thought we were _actually_ going to end up together like how everyone always said we would. You're an asshole."

"Spin, please."

"No. You think you can use some tragic story to make people feel sorry for you. Fuck you. Grow up. You brought most of your problems onto yourself. You could have carried on as you were but you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself. It's pathetic."

TJ watched as her lips moved, speaking words he thought he'd never hear from her, unable to stop it.

"How many times have I helped you? I _wasted_ so much time. I was there for you. Every. Single. Day. Everything that is happening to you is _your_ fault. Do _not_ come crying to me next time your parents die."

Suddenly it was quiet. The anger that just filled the air froze in an instant.

Spinelli focused on TJ again, unsure when it was that she forgot his presence right in front of her. She saw him, exposed and broken. When did he start crying? It didn't matter, did it?

"I didn't mean that _last_ part, Teej."

TJ stood slouched with his hands tucked inside his pockets. He nodded to himself for a few seconds, avoiding eye contact until he was ready to give a reply.

"Yeah." He said with his head lowered, but still looking up at her. "You did."

TJ left the way he came, leaving Spin to walk the opposite direction into the school. She couldn't turn back, he was still in the wrong. If she did, it would only prove the point she was trying to make.

She reached her locker to find her books completely disorganised. She tensed briefly before punching the locker door.

"Fuck..." The rest of her words only came out as mumbles before she slammed the door shut and went to class.

* * *

Spinelli was lost in her head all day. She was surprised she even heard the bell to go out for lunch.

"Stupid idiot. Can't believe he… dickhead."

"Are you alright over there?"

"Beat it, Butch."

Spinelli had become closer to Butch over the years, although no one really noticed. They had a lot more in common than even they realised. They didn't see each other often, and they didn't need to, but they remained as close as they were the last time they saw each other. If anything, it was _almost_ as if he had taken her in as a little sister.

"C'mon. Your secrets are _safe_ with me."

Spinelli laughed to herself. "Still don't know how that ever became true. You used to _always_ tell any story that you could."

"Oh no. It's _worse_ than I thought."

Spinelli furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"

"You are reminiscing, which means _something bad_ has happened now that you want to forget." Butch said matter-of-factly.

"I suppose."

"Well…" Butch simply looked at her. "Go on."

With a sigh of defeat, Spinelli began to let everything off of her chest. TJ, the drugs, HK, the party. It was nice to offload everything she had been holding in.

When she was finally done, Butch was almost shocked. "That's pretty heavy."

"Yeah." Spinelli kept her eyes on her boots. "It's shit. Thanks for listening though."

"You have two options in my opinion. One, fuck him off completely and get on with your life. Or two, try and get more facts until you know what you want to do. Although, this isn't the _first_ time he's lied about this habit so I'd go option one."

She wanted so badly to be friends with TJ but she had never felt worse in her life after what he has done. Finally, the confidence in her posture returned to her as if she had been told she in immortal.

"You're right, Butch. He can handle his own shit."

"You have the _power_."

Her shoulders began to dip slightly. "I _did_ say some pretty bad things though."

"Just forget it. Please."

Spinelli was torn. "No. I _have to_ apologise for it otherwise I'm just as bad as he is."

"Well, hey. As long as you stay your ground then you will win."

"Don't worry. I got this. See ya round." Spinelli waved goodbye to her friend to go looking across the school grounds.

* * *

TJ was sitting in the canteen over in the far back corner. People seemed to give him the space that he wanted. He wasn't so much as upset more than processing what happened. He first went to go home but Becky's car was in the driveway and he didn't want to have to explain himself. After a couple hours he _eventually_ went back to school for the day.

"TJ."

Maybe he should have stayed away for the day.

TJ looked up. "Hey, Spin."

"Look, I uhh… I wanted to say that… that I am s-sorry about what I said about your parents. It was wrong to go that far."

"Don't worry about it." TJ didn't want this talk. That wasn't even that part that upset him the most.

"Look I just wanted to clear that bit up. I _still_ don't forgive you though."

"Whatever, Spin." TJ got up to leave but she stood in his way just enough to keep him there, without seeming too aggressive.

"Aren't you going to say _anything_?"

"Like what. Sorry? Look, I don't want to _waste_ your time so let's just forget it."

Spinelli's jaw tensed up as her breathing got heavier.

"Oh no. You are not getting off so easily this time. You have to own up to your actions."

Trust me. I am paying.

"Stop playing the victim. Just _admit_ you were in the wrong."

"I told you the truth. It wasn't me."

"STOP!"

The two were eying each other up and down as if sizing up a potential fight. There was a time when such a scene seemed impossible.

"You are the biggest shit talker."

"I'm only a shit talker to you because you don't like what _you_ hear. It would be easier for _you_ if I did do it but I didn't. I can't promise you that more than I am."

"How could I ever stand being around you? You are never ending. And to think I was trying to apologise to you."

TJ found the situation so ironic. She should be apologising. Either way, he needed to get away.

"Now that we know that we are fighting with each other, let's just drop it."

This only seemed to anger the small girl even more. "Unbelievable. You can go to hell. It would be better for everyone if we didn't see you again. Pfft, I feel bad for Becky for being _stuck_ looking after you."

"If you came her to pick a fight, you _won_."

"It's so much easier for you to back down and play hurt, isn't it?"

"Apparently."

With that, TJ moved past her and headed for his locker. The bell was about to go anyway so he may as well get a headstart on heading to class.

Spinelli only watched him walk away. "Asshole."

Across the school a bus was pulling in to the school after returning from a drama camp. Mikey walked off happy to be home. It couldn't have come at a better time. After TJ's party he definitely needed a break from all the drama. _Hopefully_ they worked it all out while he was away.

Time to find out.


End file.
